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Church Greeters Stationed At Southern Border To Deter Immigrants

Discussion in 'Clean/Christian Jokes' started by redleghunter, Jan 11, 2019.

  1. redleghunter

    redleghunter Abide Boldy my friend Supporter

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    Church Greeters Stationed At Southern Border To Deter Immigrants

    FDCA4C15-F74F-4C66-ACCE-BF6BCBDA1155.jpeg

    TEXAS—In an innovative new plan to deter illegal immigrants from crossing into our country, church greeters are being stationed along the border, smiling and stretching out their hands to cheerily greet anyone who approaches.

    The excitable, impossibly peppy greeters will chase down Mexican immigrants in order to shake their hand, welcome them to the country, and give them a bulletin and church swag, inevitably prompting the frightened immigrants to run away as fast as they can. "Welcome to America, we're so glad to have you with us this morning. How has your week been?" they'll recite dutifully to each approaching immigrant before the frightened travelers run away in a serpentine pattern.

    "Studies have shown that overzealous church greeters can prevent illegal crossings 422% more effectively than a traditional, solid barrier," said a US Border Patrol agent. "When illegal aliens see the happy church volunteers trying to chase them down and ask about their week, they're sure to flee many miles away so their personal space isn't violated by the notoriously extroverted church staffers again."

    The plan will reportedly also include stations with extremely watered-down coffee to discourage the immigrants from entering any further.

    Church Greeters Stationed At Southern Border To Deter Immigrants
     
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  2. Chris V++

    Chris V++ Corvus Corax Supporter

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    Deploy the JWs! :)
     
  3. Residential Bob

    Residential Bob Active Member

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    This is why we need a wall. So the greeters can open the doors for them.
     
  4. redleghunter

    redleghunter Abide Boldy my friend Supporter

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    Or the bicycle helmeted Mormons!
     
  5. JCFantasy23

    JCFantasy23 In a Kingdom by the Sea. Staff Member Administrator Supporter CF Senior Ambassador Angels Team

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    ^_^^_^
     
  6. miamited

    miamited Ted Supporter

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    Hi RLH,

    Not much better than tongue in cheek humor to soften a delicate situation. I think that's been the Babylon Bee's mantra from the beginning.

    God bless,
    In Christ, ted
     
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