Church discipline questions.

[jehoiakim]

Hard to make this a short version but I will try. Pardon mistakes as I type from my phone. We have friends who lead the church youth group, a moms group and a home group. We have been very close with them, his parents and his sister and her husband for 10 years. We know them better than almost anyone on the planet. It is only in the last 2 years or so that I have brought concerns in the most loving ways possible. These are concerns that were are certainly not he first to share and even their family has brought some of these concerns. The couple is quite gifted in their insights but sometimes is confused between what "insights" are from God and what insights are from their own flesh. This includes sins of false assumptions,interruption and disrespect, talking over, gossip /slander, manipulation, weird theological and possibly dangerous doctrines among other issues. I would be tempted as others have been to believe that he is a false prophet/teacher but I know they love The Lord with all their hearts they just are misguided. He is a narcissist and a manipulator but he preaches the gospel effectively and very often. I have done the biblical steps of coming to him privately, several times. I know others have voiced their concerns to him and I have also had conversations with witnesses there. Recently I went to the pastor who is aware and quite concerned but he has a tendency to not act. He wants to see the good but he is watching him closely. Recently I had a confrontational discussion where there was finally an acknowledgement of my concerns but it doesn't seem as if he is repentant at all there was no apology or asking for forgiveness just a god is working on me kind of statement. I plan to follow up again but I don't have high hopes my honest opinion is that the last meeting was a performance because he knew I was going to go to leadership. It is an even messier situation as we are about yo split the hime group because of size not sin issues and we are set to take over the next group. We don't want to be divisive and if things don't change I am tempted to speak with a family that will be under this couple and being raised up to be leaders for the next split when the group grows too big again. Is that appropriate because church leadership seems only to be keeping an eye on them and not disciplining them or is that gossip? My intention is to prepare the family be able to handle this couple for the church sake and I didn't want to give specifics or undermine their close friendship I just want them to be aware to protect themselves and and one who joins the group.

 

[jehoiakim]

Is that appropriate and what are my next steps if the church fails to acts as this guy isn't changing and is covering his tracks diligently with no real repentance?

 

[jehoiakim]

Having types this out I am having some clarity that if I were to give advice I would advise myself to speak with the pastor about talking to the other couple in the home group am I missing anything else though?