Church #3

[Gentle Lamb]

This would be the third church I would be leaving because of the way that sexual immorality has been handled by the church leaders.

Church #1

An openly gay couple attended church together. One of the men was allowed to sing on the praise team on one Sunday. Understandably, congregation members were upset about this and then a debate ensued as to whether or not he should be allowed to keep singing. I ran.

Church #2

A string of pregnancies out of wedlock. A young, Christian couple (babes in Christ) were made a public example of, while another couple (the woman was far more mature in Christ, years of being a Christian) was given a free pass, the woman was even celebrated when she had the baby, meanwhile the other baby births were never announced. At the mistreatment of that babes in Christ couple, I left. Many other people did too.

Church #3

One of the church women was on a mission to destroy every marriage in the church. Slept with every man she could find and seduce. She was a department leader. Through her influence another young lady got caught up in an adulterous relationship. The church lady who was a department leader was never held accountable for her actions by church leadership who later learned of what occurred.

If I leave this church, it would be the 3rd one in how many years.... In each church I become more involved than I was in the one prior out of a desire to serve God and advance the work of His Kingdom. I myself am far from perfect and I am not trying to cast stones at anyone. I love all these people! But all of these things have happened in churches and I'm utterly broken over this situation in church #3.... I keep thinking about leaving church #3... I'm very involved....My former post titled Adultery in the Church details everything... Is leaving the best decision? Have any other people encountered such situations? It is becoming increasingly difficult for me to attend church #3, I'm struggling with this....

 

[SabbathBlessings]

This would be the third church I would be leaving because of the way that sexual immorality has been handled by the church leaders.

Church #1

An openly gay couple attended church together. One of the men was allowed to sing on the praise team on one Sunday. Understandably, congregation members were upset about this and then a debate ensued as to whether or not he should be allowed to keep singing. I ran.

Church #2

A string of pregnancies out of wedlock. A young, Christian couple (babes in Christ) were made a public example of, while another couple (the woman was far more mature in Christ, years of being a Christian) was given a free pass, the woman was even celebrated when she had the baby, meanwhile the other baby births were never announced. At the mistreatment of that babes in Christ couple, I left. Many other people did too.

Church #3

One of the church women was on a mission to destroy every marriage in the church. Slept with every man she could find and seduce. She was a department leader. Through her influence another young lady got caught up in an adulterous relationship. The church lady who was a department leader was never held accountable for her actions by church leadership who later learned of what occurred.

If I leave this church, it would be the 3rd one in how many years.... In each church I become more involved than I was in the one prior out of a desire to serve God and advance the work of His Kingdom. I myself am far from perfect and I am not trying to cast stones at anyone. I love all these people! But all of these things have happened in churches and I'm utterly broken over this situation in church #3.... I keep thinking about leaving church #3... I'm very involved....My former post titled Adultery in the Church details everything... Is leaving the best decision? Have any other people encountered such situations? It is becoming increasingly difficult for me to attend church #3, I'm struggling with this....

Have you considered a Sabbath Church, one that worships God on Saturday based on God's 4th commandment Exodus 20:8-11? Adventist Directory - Church Locator

The Seventh day Adventist church is one of the few churches left that believes in all 10 of Gods commandments.

Hope you can find the right church for you. Ask God for His guidance.

God bless

 

[paul1149]

Hello Gentle Lamb,


We discussed Church #3 before, I believe, in the “Adultery in the Church” thread, and my feeling was that there was not enough information to come to a definite judgment on the situation.


Church #2, I would have left as well. That sounds wrong on more than one level.


Church #1 raises some questions. I can see being upset about the openly gay person being allowed to minister. But if the situation was in the process of being dealt with, why would you run before it was settled? Do you know if the elders were behind the decision to let the guy minister, or whether that was determined by the music minister?

 

[Aussie Pete]

This would be the third church I would be leaving because of the way that sexual immorality has been handled by the church leaders.

Church #1

An openly gay couple attended church together. One of the men was allowed to sing on the praise team on one Sunday. Understandably, congregation members were upset about this and then a debate ensued as to whether or not he should be allowed to keep singing. I ran.

Church #2

A string of pregnancies out of wedlock. A young, Christian couple (babes in Christ) were made a public example of, while another couple (the woman was far more mature in Christ, years of being a Christian) was given a free pass, the woman was even celebrated when she had the baby, meanwhile the other baby births were never announced. At the mistreatment of that babes in Christ couple, I left. Many other people did too.

Church #3

One of the church women was on a mission to destroy every marriage in the church. Slept with every man she could find and seduce. She was a department leader. Through her influence another young lady got caught up in an adulterous relationship. The church lady who was a department leader was never held accountable for her actions by church leadership who later learned of what occurred.

If I leave this church, it would be the 3rd one in how many years.... In each church I become more involved than I was in the one prior out of a desire to serve God and advance the work of His Kingdom. I myself am far from perfect and I am not trying to cast stones at anyone. I love all these people! But all of these things have happened in churches and I'm utterly broken over this situation in church #3.... I keep thinking about leaving church #3... I'm very involved....My former post titled Adultery in the Church details everything... Is leaving the best decision? Have any other people encountered such situations? It is becoming increasingly difficult for me to attend church #3, I'm struggling with this....

Go. You can nail the word "Ichabod" over many so-called churches now. Underneath, quote
1 Corinthians 6:9-11.

I believe that we are obliged to speak the truth in love. If the church refuses to listen, what choice do you have? If you stay, you are condoning the sinful ways. There is also a risk that your own morality will be undermined. I believe that many Christians are hurting over the same issues. It may be necessary to join with them, not to form a new church but to have fellowship with like minded believers. I see a day coming when home based fellowships will be the norm. Francis Chan is one of the better known advocates for this.

 

[tdidymas]

This would be the third church I would be leaving because of the way that sexual immorality has been handled by the church leaders.

Church #1

An openly gay couple attended church together. One of the men was allowed to sing on the praise team on one Sunday. Understandably, congregation members were upset about this and then a debate ensued as to whether or not he should be allowed to keep singing. I ran.

Church #2

A string of pregnancies out of wedlock. A young, Christian couple (babes in Christ) were made a public example of, while another couple (the woman was far more mature in Christ, years of being a Christian) was given a free pass, the woman was even celebrated when she had the baby, meanwhile the other baby births were never announced. At the mistreatment of that babes in Christ couple, I left. Many other people did too.

Church #3

One of the church women was on a mission to destroy every marriage in the church. Slept with every man she could find and seduce. She was a department leader. Through her influence another young lady got caught up in an adulterous relationship. The church lady who was a department leader was never held accountable for her actions by church leadership who later learned of what occurred.

If I leave this church, it would be the 3rd one in how many years.... In each church I become more involved than I was in the one prior out of a desire to serve God and advance the work of His Kingdom. I myself am far from perfect and I am not trying to cast stones at anyone. I love all these people! But all of these things have happened in churches and I'm utterly broken over this situation in church #3.... I keep thinking about leaving church #3... I'm very involved....My former post titled Adultery in the Church details everything... Is leaving the best decision? Have any other people encountered such situations? It is becoming increasingly difficult for me to attend church #3, I'm struggling with this....

Were all 3 churches in the same denomination? If so, I'd seriously consider leaving the denomination. Of course, I'm biased, and learned enough to want to stay at my Bible believing/teaching church. In my experience, some churches have many ongoing issues because of weaknesses in the leadership.

 

[Maria Billingsley]

This would be the third church I would be leaving because of the way that sexual immorality has been handled by the church leaders.

Church #1

An openly gay couple attended church together. One of the men was allowed to sing on the praise team on one Sunday. Understandably, congregation members were upset about this and then a debate ensued as to whether or not he should be allowed to keep singing. I ran.

Church #2

A string of pregnancies out of wedlock. A young, Christian couple (babes in Christ) were made a public example of, while another couple (the woman was far more mature in Christ, years of being a Christian) was given a free pass, the woman was even celebrated when she had the baby, meanwhile the other baby births were never announced. At the mistreatment of that babes in Christ couple, I left. Many other people did too.

Church #3

One of the church women was on a mission to destroy every marriage in the church. Slept with every man she could find and seduce. She was a department leader. Through her influence another young lady got caught up in an adulterous relationship. The church lady who was a department leader was never held accountable for her actions by church leadership who later learned of what occurred.

If I leave this church, it would be the 3rd one in how many years.... In each church I become more involved than I was in the one prior out of a desire to serve God and advance the work of His Kingdom. I myself am far from perfect and I am not trying to cast stones at anyone. I love all these people! But all of these things have happened in churches and I'm utterly broken over this situation in church #3.... I keep thinking about leaving church #3... I'm very involved....My former post titled Adultery in the Church details everything... Is leaving the best decision? Have any other people encountered such situations? It is becoming increasingly difficult for me to attend church #3, I'm struggling with this....

Hidden sins are more abundant and plagues every church. So there is hypocrisy in every congregation.

 

[CMDRExorcist]

This would be the third church I would be leaving because of the way that sexual immorality has been handled by the church leaders.

Church #1

An openly gay couple attended church together. One of the men was allowed to sing on the praise team on one Sunday. Understandably, congregation members were upset about this and then a debate ensued as to whether or not he should be allowed to keep singing. I ran.

Church #2

A string of pregnancies out of wedlock. A young, Christian couple (babes in Christ) were made a public example of, while another couple (the woman was far more mature in Christ, years of being a Christian) was given a free pass, the woman was even celebrated when she had the baby, meanwhile the other baby births were never announced. At the mistreatment of that babes in Christ couple, I left. Many other people did too.

Church #3

One of the church women was on a mission to destroy every marriage in the church. Slept with every man she could find and seduce. She was a department leader. Through her influence another young lady got caught up in an adulterous relationship. The church lady who was a department leader was never held accountable for her actions by church leadership who later learned of what occurred.

If I leave this church, it would be the 3rd one in how many years.... In each church I become more involved than I was in the one prior out of a desire to serve God and advance the work of His Kingdom. I myself am far from perfect and I am not trying to cast stones at anyone. I love all these people! But all of these things have happened in churches and I'm utterly broken over this situation in church #3.... I keep thinking about leaving church #3... I'm very involved....My former post titled Adultery in the Church details everything... Is leaving the best decision? Have any other people encountered such situations? It is becoming increasingly difficult for me to attend church #3, I'm struggling with this....

All congregations have skeletons because that's just human nature. You're never going to find a perfect church, but definitely look for one that applies principles fairly, consistently, and as biblically as possible given the limitations of our human condition. I hope you find what you're looking for and what you need.

 

[Gentle Lamb]

I am listening to this and it is helping me...

I think the best thing to do right now is to endure...

 

[Jaxxi]

This would be the third church I would be leaving because of the way that sexual immorality has been handled by the church leaders.

Church #1

An openly gay couple attended church together. One of the men was allowed to sing on the praise team on one Sunday. Understandably, congregation members were upset about this and then a debate ensued as to whether or not he should be allowed to keep singing. I ran.

Church #2

A string of pregnancies out of wedlock. A young, Christian couple (babes in Christ) were made a public example of, while another couple (the woman was far more mature in Christ, years of being a Christian) was given a free pass, the woman was even celebrated when she had the baby, meanwhile the other baby births were never announced. At the mistreatment of that babes in Christ couple, I left. Many other people did too.

Church #3

One of the church women was on a mission to destroy every marriage in the church. Slept with every man she could find and seduce. She was a department leader. Through her influence another young lady got caught up in an adulterous relationship. The church lady who was a department leader was never held accountable for her actions by church leadership who later learned of what occurred.

If I leave this church, it would be the 3rd one in how many years.... In each church I become more involved than I was in the one prior out of a desire to serve God and advance the work of His Kingdom. I myself am far from perfect and I am not trying to cast stones at anyone. I love all these people! But all of these things have happened in churches and I'm utterly broken over this situation in church #3.... I keep thinking about leaving church #3... I'm very involved....My former post titled Adultery in the Church details everything... Is leaving the best decision? Have any other people encountered such situations? It is becoming increasingly difficult for me to attend church #3, I'm struggling with this....

I am kind of with Imge ( the first response you got) on attending a Sabbath church that gathers on Saturdays. Maybe that is part of the problem with these churches is that they are failing to keep the Sabbath holy therefore they are not with the same blessing from God. God is very insistent on keeping the Sabbath and I don't know why I did not think of this sooner for myself as well. I do not want to change my denomination in the process, I think I just want to be a Christian who worships on Saturdays as instructed and intended. I'm tired of following blind people! It gets darker with every step....and hotter.

 

[Gentle Lamb]

I don't really think that denomination has anything to do with it... Immorality has infiltrated every denomination... But it is still our duty as followers of Christ to strive to live lives that are holy and pleasing and separated to God.

 

[Albion]

I don't really think that denomination has anything to do with it... Immorality has infiltrated every denomination... But it is still our duty as followers of Christ to strive to live lives that are holy and pleasing and separated to God.

I sympathize with you GL, and I'm sorry for the actions you've had to take in order to uphold your principles.

If the most recent church hasn't yet finally acted on that issue one way or the other, I'd agree that waiting until it is finalized might be the right thing for you to do.

But when it comes to denominations, I don't think it is the case that they are all the same as concerns toleration for immorality. Some are not like that, but you will probably have to make a dedicated, serious search in order to find one that does not equivocate or give in when challenged like these others have done.

 

[Gentle Lamb]

Thanks Albion. I didn't mean to say that denomination tolerate sexual immorality but just meant to say that sin is infiltrated into the church. I guess I should have worded it that way. It would be so good to know a denomination that take a heavy stance against this time of sin because it helps people when they are held accountable for these types of things.

 

[RBPerry]

Why do you attend church? I attend to worship my heavenly Father. I'm a counselor in our church and I would never talk about the negative things that happen. If you are looking for the perfect church, you won't find it, it doesn't exist here on earth. Why, because we are all sinners saved by grace.
Attend and serve your church and don't worry about what others are doing, that is God's department, not yours.

 

[Gentle Lamb]

Sin affects everyone, even if that sin is done in secret. Case in point, 36 men died in the battle of Ai because of the sin of one man before Achan's sin was discovered. I am directly the victim of someone's actions because someone who was committing adultery was dating the same man I was dating, doing it behind my back and intentionally performed actions to destroy the relationship (but thank God for divine intervention, thank God who didn't allow me to marry a cheater). That woman was a department leader in my church. She was allowed to continue to minister after her first ex-boyfriend came forward and confessed his own adultery. That boggles my mind. Not only that, it's someone who was very close to me who is now in a fallen adulterous state, coming to church in that state of adultery with the person they are committing adultery with and with the baby born of that adultery. I attend church to serve God, I do what I do to please Him, but the whole church is defiled and weakened when sin is allowed and condoned in the manner I have seen in church #3. That is why I am seeking advice here, not because I don't want to keep my focus on God but because the situation has become too much to bear and it affects me personally. I'm utterly devastated at all that has happened.

 

[RBPerry]

My first suggestion would be to make an appointment with your pastor and share your feeling with him. I find it difficult to believe that a pastor would allow someone involved in adultery to remain in a leadership role, is it possible he isn't aware of the problems. It sounds like you have been hurt by the actions of someone else, and sadly that can happen in any church.
I have had people come to me and complain about our pastor or someone else in the church, the first thing I ask them is if they have discussed their issues with the person, nine times out of ten the answer is no. Personally I don't think it is wise to use forums to seek counseling on sensitive matters, but that is just my opinion.

 

[Gentle Lamb]

I did speak to the pastor. Bits and pieces of information came out about the situation, first as rumors. In the end I learned that though one ex-boyfriend came forward and confessed some months prior, it was only after a second confessed that things started to come to light. It's an anonymous forum for Christians, I'm doing the best I can. This is a main resource I have available to me right now.

 

[RBPerry]

What was your pastors response, and how did he handle the issue?
As Christians our first response when we are hurt by someone is to forgive. Remember Christ said he will forgive us as we forgive others. That doesn't mean the pain or even anger will be relieved but I find when I have prayed for someone that has hurt me it does seem to lessen the impact of the transgression.
Most counselors want to meet face to face, and I'm one that prefers personal meetings. The reason being is it isn't always what a person says, but what their body and eyes show.
Let me get this straight, you are saying the person that is currently committing adultery is married to someone else, but attend church with a woman other than his wife, and they have had a child.Is that correct?
Here is the thing, every pastor or deacon knows there are people in their congregation living in sin. Some churches even allow homosexuals to attend but not be in leadership. Reasoning is the church wants to give those people every opportunity to get their life or lives in order, and subjected to the leadership of the Holy Spirit. If you ostracize them you lessen the opportunity for them to come to grips with their sin and repent.
It sounds like these people don't have a direct effect on you, meaning you don't need to interact with them. So my suggestions would be to continue on attending and serving your church.
I see my church as part of my extended family, in fact I'm closer to some of my church family than I am of some of my family.
I was brought up in the Seventh Day Adventist church, attended their schools and college. When I moved away from the SDA church I was ostracized by many of the people that I was once very close to. Those rejections hurt, and if not handled properly can turn to anger, and that then becomes a bigger problem because anger generally hurts the person that is angry much more than the target of their anger.

 

[Gentle Lamb]

Yes that is the correct summary of the situation. I know everyone should be allowed to come to church, I'm not against people coming to church even in their situations. But when a leader in the church falls from grace and gets into a situation like adultery, I think it warrants further intervention given that the person was a leader in the church. Should that person who's fallen from grace still be given the opportunity to plan church activities while coming to church in adultery? That is wrong. This is not really about what hurts me personally. Though I have been hurt to see my own friend in the situation, this is about the hurt that comes to the body of Christ through sin. Sin should be dealt with. God does not smile or wink at sin. It's a serious issue and every single person in the congregation is affected by it.

 

[RBPerry]

Yes that is the correct summary of the situation. I know everyone should be allowed to come to church, I'm not against people coming to church even in their situations. But when a leader in the church falls from grace and gets into a situation like adultery, I think it warrants further intervention given that the person was a leader in the church. Should that person who's fallen from grace still be given the opportunity to plan church activities while coming to church in adultery? That is wrong. This is not really about what hurts me personally. Though I have been hurt to see my own friend in the situation, this is about the hurt that comes to the body of Christ through sin. Sin should be dealt with. God does not smile or wink at sin. It's a serious issue and every single person in the congregation is affected by it.

So who's responsibility is it to deal with these church problems? It's the pastor and the church board, not yours. You stated you brought the issue to them, now you need to let it go and focus on what God wants from you. There is a term called "church jumpers" referring to people that jump from one church to another. Sister, you aren't going to find a perfect church, why, because people aren't perfect. If the church you are attending is ministering to you and is preaching orthodox theology then give your pastor and the church board deal with or not deal with the problem areas.
You are correct that sin can affect everyone, and when you read in revelations the letters to the various churches it was obvious they needed corrections.

 

[Gentle Lamb]

So who's responsibility is it to deal with these church problems? It's the pastor and the church board, not yours. You stated you brought the issue to them, now you need to let it go and focus on what God wants from you. There is a term called "church jumpers" referring to people that jump from one church to another. Sister, you aren't going to find a perfect church, why, because people aren't perfect. If the church you are attending is ministering to you and is preaching orthodox theology then give your pastor and the church board deal with or not deal with the problem areas.
You are correct that sin can affect everyone, and when you read in revelations the letters to the various churches it was obvious they needed corrections.

Thank you for your words of wisdom.