Chronic pain/illness' and depression seem to go hand in hand

[Colleen1]

Thanks for praying and being real. I appreciate it.

 

[Colleen1]

Your thread title couldn't be truer. I had a long couple of days. I had grueling paperwork that needed to get done. Most of it is rather stressful. Wasn't able to pace myself because of time constraints so I over did it. I tend to get down when that happens. I know it's just par for the course but, yeah, it's not fun. I'm beat and in quite a bit of pain. Let's just say it even hurts to type. Any way, thanks for listening. Take care.

 

[LadyNRA]

Boy you said. Been there more times than I care to admit. Been experiencing one form of pain or another, or one medical problem after another for decades. And I do ask those same questions. I can praise God that they don't keep me down. I do have pain-free hours every day but nearly every day does bring me some discomfrot or outright pain. I definitely don't like suffering one bit. And hearing biblical platitudes just doesn't work because I know that God is allowing this for whatever reason and he may or may not take the pains away. At least we know here that we are not alone in this.

 

[Colleen1]

The reality of "this isn't going to get any better" or "the older I get the more difficult this is going to be to deal with" can hit home rather hard...kinda like a freight train on a grade with no brakes.

Reality is that most ppl are so overwhelmed or self centered that they just don't or can't care and we find ourselves alone with our struggles. Our doctors can only do so much for us and how many times can we ask others for prayer.

Fatigue usually goes along with everything else we deal with and the other life issues that our illness' bring can mount up and overwhelm us causing us to become depressed.

Had one of those moments this weekend and I just broke down and cried. My bother is in the same boat as I and he's also a pastor.

I'm thankful that we are able to share this unique experience here in CF.

Please post what ever you feel here about this topic.

I hear you loud and clear. I get it. I feel for you and our fellow sufferers. There is a Joni Erickson radio blurb I came across a while back and I would love to share it with you and anyone who is experiencing theses issues and ...anyone who wants to understand. I hope you find it uplifting. Enjoy!!!!

Invisible Disabilites | Radio | Joni and Friends​

 

[LadyNRA]

Can you summarize? My internet provider has been chronically ill and I'm lucky to get service by the time I get home. They are blaming a major storm that blew through weeks ago but the problem has been there for months.

 

[pumanator]

HEYOOO,
I've been down and out and just stopped to catch up and read. Have a load of work to do at the house now that spring is here and just don't think I can do it this year as my back has flared up with the other chorus of complainers in my body...it all seems so overwhelming. Today I felt as though I was at the foot half dome in Yosemite and have been told to climb to the face...bare handed...with 100lbs pack.

I have to keep thinking about His yoke and that all this "stuff" in life is rather superfluous where as when we "choose the better part" and sit at His feet and spend time being mindful of the eternal that then and only then is our load lighter.

 

[Colleen1]

HEYOOO,
I've been down and out and just stopped to catch up and read. Have a load of work to do at the house now that spring is here and just don't think I can do it this year as my back has flared up with the other chorus of complainers in my body...it all seems so overwhelming. Today I felt as though I was at the foot half dome in Yosemite and have been told to climb to the face...bare handed...with 100lbs pack.

I have to keep thinking about His yoke and that all this "stuff" in life is rather superfluous where as when we "choose the better part" and sit at His feet and spend time being mindful of the eternal that then and only then is our load lighter.

Glad to hear from you and know that you are surviving all the stuff. I have a mountain waiting for me here as well so I get it. My health hasn't been cooperating at all so I empathize. Hope you have a great holiday. Take care.

p.s. I'd like to know what you thought of the Joni Erickson blurb. I found it touching.

 

[pumanator]

packing the kitchen in order for the a crew to gut it...my wifes daycare centers around it and it is long past overdue for redo. will give it a listen later this week.

 

[Colleen1]

packing the kitchen in order for the a crew to gut it...my wifes daycare centers around it and it is long past overdue for redo. will give it a listen later this week.

Wow, you have your hands full. I think you know what I mean when I say, I hope you're able to find some comfort during your kitchen 'redo'.

 

[pumanator]

lol....thanks...bloody nightmare it'll be. hopefully they finish on time as its gonna play havoc with the wifes baby sittin'

 

[Colleen1]

lol....thanks...bloody nightmare it'll be. hopefully they finish on time as its gonna play havoc with the wifes baby sittin'

I kind of figured that. Lots of work and hopefully not too much headache. Even if you aren't doing some of the work yourself, it can still turn life a bit upside down. Will be super nice when it's finished I'm sure.

 

[Colleen1]

Well, I have another medical trip coming up. Even though it will be tiring, it will be nice to get away from it all and get some space rather than living in a 'fish bowl'. I'm having a ho hum day and yeah. Glad for this thread.

 

[Colleen1]

Have a good week!

 

[MaxxOmega]

I went through this same struggle today and yesterday... it seems that I am always in some type of pain, and after spending the past few years encountering problem after problem, I find myself getting very depressed and thinking "what misery lies ahead". I find it hard to see any blessings around me, and always focus on the pain and my depression. Unless you have experienced these feelings, you just cant understand...thats the case with my wife...she gets so upset with me, and I wish I could turn off these feelings like a switch, but I cannot. With chronic pain, it is hard to see the positive things in life when while you are looking for them, you have a stabbing pain somewhere reminding you that you will hurt not only now, but in the future. I find myself often wanting to just sleep all the time just so I dont have to consciously deal with the depression and the nagging pain.

It does bring you closer to God. Ive found myself praying more and more... but Im thinking that it brings you closer in a way where you beg for healing much more as well...not a closeness of the happiness that should be felt, but more of a "please save me from this dispair" closeness.

I imagine many people with chronic pain also encounter the thoughts of wanting to just end it...not for attention, or a cry for help, but truly just end it...as they are simply tired of living this way and question what possible purpose could be derived from all the suffering. Thankfully I have not encountered these thoughts much...but to be honest, I think it crossed the minds of everyone with chronic pain.

Its a tough place to be in... suffering pain that always seems to be present, the depression of knowing it will be there again tomorrow, and the sadness of seeing those around you being drawn down because you are not able to function like others.

Eventually comes the thoughts of "why wont God heal me? Why wont my prayers be answered?" or "What possible good purpose is my pain serving and why must I suffer like this just to serve this purpose?"

It is easy for people to say "he does hear you and will answer" or "you have a pupose" etc... But those people do not feel the suffering we do on a daily basis.

What about the people with Chronic pain that suffer thier entire lives, only to grow older, become bedridden, and lay in pain until they pass away? Even Job from the Old Testament had his pains taken away eventually.....

As I said, I had these same thoughts over the past few days as I deal with various afflictions and try to lead a normal happy life....but it is very hard and many times you simply just cannot "turn off the unhappiness switch".

Yeah man. Not a day goes by I don't think of putting a hose on my exhaust pipe and sucking the fumes.
And I learned very very fast when I got sick that for the most part the Church and Christian community is the last place to expect any support or understanding but rather lectures and condemnation. I quit going to church, I can be crapped on by the general public enough thank you very much. Thankfully my wife is excellent. She is a nurse with her own chronic pain. We suffer together.

We have no Christian friends, no friends of any type. We simply go it alone. Asking for prayer in the past was an opening for people to tell me what's wrong with me and why God won't help. ("You are sick because you are full of hidden sin, oh and you are too fat. Lose weight and all will be good". One poor excuse for a brother told me "You don't have enough faith. If you have enough faith God HAS to heal you, he has NO CHOICE". Can you believe someone thinks like that? Sure when I was 20 years old I never got sick either. Sickness is in the world because of sin, simple as that)...

Signed
Hope I Die soon

 

[One day at a time]

I understand how frustrating and irritating it is when people come up and tell you that you don't have enough faith...and if I truly believed I would be "brand new"..so to speak. Or to have someone "pray" for me because surely I couldn't do that for myself.
For me.....what I have learned through my past four years of what I have been through is not my lack of faith but my growth in faith that God is sufficient through all that I have to go through. He is my Strength and Strong Tower! His grace is enough for me to accept what I have and to be able to smile everyday that I am alive and it could have been a lot worse.
When we pray for God's will....I have learned we need to make sure that we will be willing to accept what it is that He wants for us....no matter what! That is my testimony and may God use me as He sees fit...for as long as He wants me to!

 

[Colleen1]

I understand how frustrating and irritating it is when people come up and tell you that you don't have enough faith...and if I truly believed I would be "brand new"..so to speak. Or to have someone "pray" for me because surely I couldn't do that for myself.
For me.....what I have learned through my past four years of what I have been through is not my lack of faith but my growth in faith that God is sufficient through all that I have to go through. He is my Strength and Strong Tower! His grace is enough for me to accept what I have and to be able to smile everyday that I am alive and it could have been a lot worse.
When we pray for God's will....I have learned we need to make sure that we will be willing to accept what it is that He wants for us....no matter what! That is my testimony and may God use me as He sees fit...for as long as He wants me to!

Amen, not always an easy prayer to pray but I'm much more content 'riding the waves' rather than resisting all the time. This is not to say I don't have my moments of tantrums when I ask why and get fed up.

 

[pumanator]

Hey Maxx...you have experienced the wonder that is the faith movement, health and wealth or as my pastor calls it blab it and grab it. I know there are those here that hold to that theology hook line and sinker and your testimony calls it what it is, aberrant. It is what put my old pastor wife in the hospital and almost died from sever diabetic shock when she, by faith, stopped taking here insulin. She is in my opinion one of the truly faithful but she forgot what Paul told Timothy about taking something for his bad gut and that Luke was a physician. She lived and tests her blood daily and Lord willin will live to a ripe old age.

As to church...I understand and hear you...we all do. Most ppl don't get it, couldn't care less or the idea that they could be next scares them away or they just don't know how to relate, be a friend or worse...they think they are God's mouth piece and give you a piece of their mind.

I have been involved at a church that has a group specifically for those of us how suffer from chronic issues. It was a simple Bible study with prayer and fellowship...no pity party. It was Harvest Ministries with Greg Laurie Calvary Chapel Riverside. The pastor is also on Billy Grahams board and my take over for him at some point. The church I am attending is the same denomination and they are looking at starting a similar group there and I am going to suck it up and offer to help.

You need to find a place that teaches the Bible and will show you a little grace, mercy and love. It is hard to find but it's out there...I ignored Paul for years and went it alone to mine and my families spiritual determent.

I gotta go...will be back later with a little more if you are interested.

 

[pumanator]

Ok...having to give IV fluids to our kitty...kidney failure but she's hangin in there...A righteous man sees to the needs of his animals.

My point from earlier is this. When I am at my absolute lowest, wanting out...done...don't care about jack, I can choose to stay with my back turn to God, bitter and bent or turn to Him and say fine, ok, whatever...right your will not mine...what do you want to do with me. It's at that point that He meets me or better...uses me to encourage someone else who is hurting and it is at those moments that I feel the weight lifted from my shoulders...I can't explain it but I am sure there is a scripture to back it up because it never, and I mean never fails.

Maybe, God is calling you to start a study for those that are suffering...you would have no problem filling the seats as there are many more than you could ever imagine that are shut in and shut out of life. You can even get a kit to start one at home apart from a church from Joni and Friends as well as resources to help you where you are at. I can recommend Calvary Chapel in you area if you want support and accountability or you can simply go with Joni's program alone...you could make a difference in others lives which inturn would help you with you outlook.

....will be praying for ya bro.

 

[pumanator]

Kitchen update. If someone can tell me how to post a pic in the forum I would love to share. They are 99% done I just have to do some painting and finish the floor...they were able to work around the new floor I had put in last year saving us a few bucks. It has made the wife very happy. She choose a new kitchen rather than Hawaii for our 30th the 1st week in June...maybe we can go next year. We have only been on 3 vacations in 30 yrs of marriage and I really wanted to take her but she felt that the money was better used this way.

 

[Colleen1]

Hey Maxx...you have experienced the wonder that is the faith movement, health and wealth or as my pastor calls it blab it and grab it. I know there are those here that hold to that theology hook line and sinker and your testimony calls it what it is, aberrant. It is what put my old pastor wife in the hospital and almost died from sever diabetic shock when she, by faith, stopped taking here insulin. She is in my opinion one of the truly faithful but she forgot what Paul told Timothy about taking something for his bad gut and that Luke was a physician. She lived and tests her blood daily and Lord willin will live to a ripe old age.

As to church...I understand and hear you...we all do. Most ppl don't get it, couldn't care less or the idea that they could be next scares them away or they just don't know how to relate, be a friend or worse...they think they are God's mouth piece and give you a piece of their mind.

I have been involved at a church that has a group specifically for those of us how suffer from chronic issues. It was a simple Bible study with prayer and fellowship...no pity party. It was Harvest Ministries with Greg Laurie Calvary Chapel Riverside. The pastor is also on Billy Grahams board and my take over for him at some point. The church I am attending is the same denomination and they are looking at starting a similar group there and I am going to suck it up and offer to help.

You need to find a place that teaches the Bible and will show you a little grace, mercy and love. It is hard to find but it's out there...I ignored Paul for years and went it alone to mine and my families spiritual determent.

I gotta go...will be back later with a little more if you are interested.

Amen. Well said. To be honest, church can be a difficult can of worms in many ways. We don't seem to excel at dealing well with emotions, difficult topics or anything to deeply honest. The churches that do are difficult to find. But I believe I, we, shouldn't give up on trying to achieve this in church. I constantly pray to have the strength to carry on to try to better this in my church and community etc. Thanks for daring to be truly honest, authentic and for your willingness to discuss this topic. Have a great day.