Christians and emotions

[cloudstrife007]

So emotions are part of being human, but we need to control these emotions in ways that are loving to God and to others.
Biblically, it is fundamental that everything we do is out of love and for the glory of God.

But what about when it comes to having crushes or having feelings for someone?
It's been a good 8 months now. I pray, I read the bible, I preoccupy myself with actiivities which are right and proper, and at times I even try to purposely block her out of my mind, but at the end of the day I can't stop thinking about her. She's Christian, loves God but I don't feel quite comfortable asking her out yet because I don't think she has interest in me (I'm 6 years older, have different friends, don't really have a 'special click').

Asking her out may potentially overwhelm her since she's 6 yrs younger than me.

All I want is to serve God and honor him.

 

[Zebra1552]

Um... since when do we 'control our emotions for God'? Could you explain this premise?

 

[Johnnz]

The emotional control centre in our brains is not where we have our more intellectual functions. Thus they don't come under our 'control' that well at times, as you are discovering! It's more of Greek concept that our emotions are of a lower level that our intellect anyway. The Hebrew concept of the centre of our being is the heart, not the head. Our emotions are part of the tapestry of living as a human being. You can examine them, learn from them, accept them, better integrate them, but never totally have them under control.

John
NZ

 

[Emmy]

Dear cloudstrife007. Since you told God about your feelings for the young Lady, ask God to give you enough courage to ask her yourself. God does not forbid us to have emotions, and love is a good emotion. Just wait for a good opportunity and ask for some innocent outing, and take it from there. I say this with love. Greetings from Emmy, your sister in Christ.

 

[FallenPaladin]

She's 19. That is legal. If I were single and 25 I'd be going Lord Byron on her. Hence, she would find me irresistable. Don't know what you're waiting for.

Maybe if you're lucky God will send her over to your place with a red ribbon around her waist tied in a bowtie. Seriously, go for it already.

 

[JCFantasy23]

So emotions are part of being human, but we need to control these emotions in ways that are loving to God and to others.
Biblically, it is fundamental that everything we do is out of love and for the glory of God.

But what about when it comes to having crushes or having feelings for someone?
It's been a good 8 months now. I pray, I read the bible, I preoccupy myself with actiivities which are right and proper, and at times I even try to purposely block her out of my mind, but at the end of the day I can't stop thinking about her. She's Christian, loves God but I don't feel quite comfortable asking her out yet because I don't think she has interest in me (I'm 6 years older, have different friends, don't really have a 'special click').

Asking her out may potentially overwhelm her since she's 6 yrs younger than me.

All I want is to serve God and honor him.

I think we all here know how much crushes can consume us. It's normal to have your mind occupied on someone who has peaked your interests. Never try to bury feelings. Try to control them if they are turning unhealthy, but celebrate our feelings when it is something normal, like attraction and caring for others.

 

[cloudstrife007]

Jaws: I mean controlling our emotions for others so that it reflects God's love. If a man were to have emotions/feelings for a married woman, then I don't think that's reflective of God's love and so he needs to control those emotions.

Johnnz: Yeah, I don't think intellect trumps emotions. But I just feel that there is potential that emotions can plague our minds and thoughts that it becomes unhealthy. I think you're right in that I'm discovering how it fits together in my life as a Christian.

Thanks to those with encouraging words:
I'm definitely not waiting for her or any sister in Christ to come by my doorstep in a red ribbon. LOL
As men of God we need to take leadership and initiative. But its just that I've been brought up in a household by a non-Christian, traditional, strict, 'big man', no emotions type father where emotions of affection and love aren't shown. I've read Christian books about dating/courtship, but I haven't really had a model in my life of how expressing interest in a sister in Christ works. So kind of clueless.

What am I waiting for? I like her, but I don't see interest from her and it doesn't seem like we have a special click. I have expressed care for her as my sister in Christ by occasionally helping her with youth group stuff and just generally seeing how she is coping with studies. She pops into my head frequently (even when I'm preoccupied with other things going on in my life), so I'm questioning on whether I'm just becoming infatuated with her and hence asking here about controlling emotions/feelings.

 

[Zebra1552]

First of all, emotions are healthy and right. That's why God tells us to love. You don't control them. God does, with the Spirit. I've spent enough of my life controlling emotions to the point where I cannot cry, and I can hardly mourn as I discovered this summer. You don't need to be 'controlling your emotions for others'. You need to be surrendering them to God, so that He can use them as He wills.

Second, logic has its place too. Before emotions, but emotions are still there. You need them, or you will not have a healthy relationship with God. Find a mentor, an older man that you can relate to, who feels and is affectionate towards other people.

Then you can think about dating.

 

[wonderwaleye]

So emotions are part of being human, but we need to control these emotions in ways that are loving to God and to others.
Biblically, it is fundamental that everything we do is out of love and for the glory of God.

But what about when it comes to having crushes or having feelings for someone?
It's been a good 8 months now. I pray, I read the bible, I preoccupy myself with actiivities which are right and proper, and at times I even try to purposely block her out of my mind, but at the end of the day I can't stop thinking about her. She's Christian, loves God but I don't feel quite comfortable asking her out yet because I don't think she has interest in me (I'm 6 years older, have different friends, don't really have a 'special click').

Asking her out may potentially overwhelm her since she's 6 yrs younger than me.

All I want is to serve God and honor him.

My wife is almost 10 years younger than I and have been married since 1972. I think maybe you need to read GOD'S WORD and see the difference in years between man and wife. Remember it is GOD that gave us these feelings and since there is no sin involved GO FOR THE GOLD!

steven