Christian wife behaving correctly?

adriw7878

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I hope to get insight to wife's thoughts? We were both married 28 years (she was my first date) ago in church and have 2 grown children. We are church members and served in marriage ministry for over 10 years.

We both held high executive positions and are financially independent. I bought a condo (under her name) 6 years ago - we are living there now. I love her very much ... never had any quarrels before my medical incident.

3 years ago I was medically mismanaged and caused me 2 years semi-comatosed (bed ridden). Many friends from home and abroad prayed for me. I woke up 1 year ago (couldn't hold a pencil) and undergone physiotherapy to help me regain my senses. I can now make a drink for myself and walk slowly. I am medically retired now.

My mental faculty resumed dramatically the past 6 months and noticed some strange behaviours exhibited by my wife. I hope some Christians can give me some insights to these behaviours.

Recently (past 4 months now), my wife goes to the gym at 6 am. At 8 am, she is off to office and return home past midnight (Mon till Fri). She said many teams to motivate/counsel, so after dinner they usually go clubbing. I asked if she is meeting clients. She said "No. Motivating staff. You have your own dinner and don't go out at night - in view of your condition.".

One evening she put me to bed at 9.30 pm and I woke up at 10.30 pm. I called out to her and searched all the rooms, she was not in the condo. I went downstairs to check her car and catch up on some reading. Her car was there and most likely someone fetched her out. At 12.30 am, she walked into the condo via side gate for residents. She was surprised to see me downstairs.

I asked "Where were you so late?".
She (wife) replied "Was having coffee with Ruby at Starbucks nearby. We met around 11.30 pm, she having issues at work."
I then said "I was down here since 10.30 pm .... didn't see you passed me by."
She (wife) replied "Oh. Time flies I didn't noticed the timing."
I asked (angrily) "Show me the message of your meeting."
She retorted "Phone is my private space. Go to bed, sick man!"
I showed her I noted our quarrel and incident in my log book.

Two days later she showed me the call log of her phone .... Ruby did call her at 7.45 am on that day. She did not let me hold her phone, just showed me the incoming log for the day. I was already surprised ... the rest of the log was her call to me and our daughters numbers. Very, very surprised "Why no one else called her?" Another surprised was the log was 28 June ... Ruby apparently called her at 7.45 am .... we quarreled at 1 am. She messed with her mobile log alibi. I didn't want to let her know I noticed and am well now.

Next morning, I pretended nothing happened. I saw her back from the gym at 7 am and said "Darling, careful with your exercise. Don't hurt your knees." She was very happy and thought I have a weak memory and tore off the page in my log book where I recorded our quarreling incident. I now recorded incident in my mobile where it is password encrypted.

1) I asked her if she want to resign from her job, she said "No. I enjoy my work and financial independence." I also asked if we should separate, she said "No. You are sick. I will be back before midnight then.". So now she is back by midnight (Mon-Fri) and I sometimes tasted alchohol in her lips when I kissed her.

2) Another thing that got me upset was my medical settlement ($500K) paid by hospital/doctor to me was banked into our joint account and she later transferred to ten x $50K Fixed Deposit certificates under her name.

3) We have own savings account. She asked me to transfer all of savings to her. I said "No" ... I have willed to our 2 children.

I am getting a PI to investigate her evenings clubbing with staff.

Any valid reasons for her behaviours (item 1 & 2)?
 

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I hope to get insight to wife's thoughts? We were both married 28 years (she was my first date) ago in church and have 2 grown children. We are church members and served in marriage ministry for over 10 years.

We both held high executive positions and are financially independent. I bought a condo (under her name) 6 years ago - we are living there now. I love her very much ... never had any quarrels before my medical incident.

3 years ago I was medically mismanaged and caused me 2 years semi-comatosed (bed ridden). Many friends from home and abroad prayed for me. I woke up 1 year ago (couldn't hold a pencil) and undergone physiotherapy to help me regain my senses. I can now make a drink for myself and walk slowly. I am medically retired now.

My mental faculty resumed dramatically the past 6 months and noticed some strange behaviours exhibited by my wife. I hope some Christians can give me some insights to these behaviours.

Recently (past 4 months now), my wife goes to the gym at 6 am. At 8 am, she is off to office and return home past midnight (Mon till Fri). She said many teams to motivate/counsel, so after dinner they usually go clubbing. I asked if she is meeting clients. She said "No. Motivating staff. You have your own dinner and don't go out at night - in view of your condition.".

One evening she put me to bed at 9.30 pm and I woke up at 10.30 pm. I called out to her and searched all the rooms, she was not in the condo. I went downstairs to check her car and catch up on some reading. Her car was there and most likely someone fetched her out. At 12.30 am, she walked into the condo via side gate for residents. She was surprised to see me downstairs.

I asked "Where were you so late?".
She (wife) replied "Was having coffee with Ruby at Starbucks nearby. We met around 11.30 pm, she having issues at work."
I then said "I was down here since 10.30 pm .... didn't see you passed me by."
She (wife) replied "Oh. Time flies I didn't noticed the timing."
I asked (angrily) "Show me the message of your meeting."
She retorted "Phone is my private space. Go to bed, sick man!"
I showed her I noted our quarrel and incident in my log book.

Two days later she showed me the call log of her phone .... Ruby did call her at 7.45 am on that day. She did not let me hold her phone, just showed me the incoming log for the day. I was already surprised ... the rest of the log was her call to me and our daughters numbers. Very, very surprised "Why no one else called her?" Another surprised was the log was 28 June ... Ruby apparently called her at 7.45 am .... we quarreled at 1 am. She messed with her mobile log alibi. I didn't want to let her know I noticed and am well now.

Next morning, I pretended nothing happened. I saw her back from the gym at 7 am and said "Darling, careful with your exercise. Don't hurt your knees." She was very happy and thought I have a weak memory and tore off the page in my log book where I recorded our quarreling incident. I now recorded incident in my mobile where it is password encrypted.

1) I asked her if she want to resign from her job, she said "No. I enjoy my work and financial independence." I also asked if we should separate, she said "No. You are sick. I will be back before midnight then.". So now she is back by midnight (Mon-Fri) and I sometimes tasted alchohol in her lips when I kissed her.

2) Another thing that got me upset was my medical settlement ($500K) paid by hospital/doctor to me was banked into our joint account and she later transferred to ten x $50K Fixed Deposit certificates under her name.

3) We have own savings account. She asked me to transfer all of savings to her. I said "No" ... I have willed to our 2 children.

I am getting a PI to investigate her evenings clubbing with staff.

Any valid reasons for her behaviours (item 1 & 2)?
Reading your post it appears you do have something to be concerned about, yes do go ahead with the PI, her behavior and such seems sketchy, seems as if she "may" have made another life for herself. Reading this made me sad for you and if I was in your shoes would continue to not act suspicious, yet keep a log as you do, I am so sorry this is happening I will be praying for you.:prayer:


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Dave-W

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I agree it seems rather strange. Are your children still living nearby? If something has been going on perhaps they know about it.

2 years with you unconscious or semi-conscious can be a VERY long time.
 
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All4Christ

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I agree that it is strange, though I also find it strange that you are keeping a log book. (That said, I have never experienced your situation, so I do not know if that is a standard thing to do.)

Keep praying as well!
 
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Acts2:38

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I hope to get insight to wife's thoughts? We were both married 28 years (she was my first date) ago in church and have 2 grown children. We are church members and served in marriage ministry for over 10 years.

We both held high executive positions and are financially independent. I bought a condo (under her name) 6 years ago - we are living there now. I love her very much ... never had any quarrels before my medical incident.

3 years ago I was medically mismanaged and caused me 2 years semi-comatosed (bed ridden). Many friends from home and abroad prayed for me. I woke up 1 year ago (couldn't hold a pencil) and undergone physiotherapy to help me regain my senses. I can now make a drink for myself and walk slowly. I am medically retired now.

My mental faculty resumed dramatically the past 6 months and noticed some strange behaviours exhibited by my wife. I hope some Christians can give me some insights to these behaviours.

Recently (past 4 months now), my wife goes to the gym at 6 am. At 8 am, she is off to office and return home past midnight (Mon till Fri). She said many teams to motivate/counsel, so after dinner they usually go clubbing. I asked if she is meeting clients. She said "No. Motivating staff. You have your own dinner and don't go out at night - in view of your condition.".

One evening she put me to bed at 9.30 pm and I woke up at 10.30 pm. I called out to her and searched all the rooms, she was not in the condo. I went downstairs to check her car and catch up on some reading. Her car was there and most likely someone fetched her out. At 12.30 am, she walked into the condo via side gate for residents. She was surprised to see me downstairs.

I asked "Where were you so late?".
She (wife) replied "Was having coffee with Ruby at Starbucks nearby. We met around 11.30 pm, she having issues at work."
I then said "I was down here since 10.30 pm .... didn't see you passed me by."
She (wife) replied "Oh. Time flies I didn't noticed the timing."
I asked (angrily) "Show me the message of your meeting."
She retorted "Phone is my private space. Go to bed, sick man!"
I showed her I noted our quarrel and incident in my log book.

Two days later she showed me the call log of her phone .... Ruby did call her at 7.45 am on that day. She did not let me hold her phone, just showed me the incoming log for the day. I was already surprised ... the rest of the log was her call to me and our daughters numbers. Very, very surprised "Why no one else called her?" Another surprised was the log was 28 June ... Ruby apparently called her at 7.45 am .... we quarreled at 1 am. She messed with her mobile log alibi. I didn't want to let her know I noticed and am well now.

Next morning, I pretended nothing happened. I saw her back from the gym at 7 am and said "Darling, careful with your exercise. Don't hurt your knees." She was very happy and thought I have a weak memory and tore off the page in my log book where I recorded our quarreling incident. I now recorded incident in my mobile where it is password encrypted.

1) I asked her if she want to resign from her job, she said "No. I enjoy my work and financial independence." I also asked if we should separate, she said "No. You are sick. I will be back before midnight then.". So now she is back by midnight (Mon-Fri) and I sometimes tasted alchohol in her lips when I kissed her.

2) Another thing that got me upset was my medical settlement ($500K) paid by hospital/doctor to me was banked into our joint account and she later transferred to ten x $50K Fixed Deposit certificates under her name.

3) We have own savings account. She asked me to transfer all of savings to her. I said "No" ... I have willed to our 2 children.

I am getting a PI to investigate her evenings clubbing with staff.

Any valid reasons for her behaviours (item 1 & 2)?

Hello sir,

I congratulate you both for being married so long when I continue to hear stories of divorce rates climbing and people pawning each other off now days. However, I am sorry to see you go through this situation.

I am no expert in psychology. I have no degrees that would allow me to give expert opinions. All I can do, is from a different vantage point, give you my up most common sense answers from what I can see from your posting.

You said that you were "semi-comatose" for 2 years.

So, from her stand point, if she were to keep her job, she would need a home nurse (if you were home those 2 years) to stay with you for those 2 years or you were at the hospital those 2 years. Your wife has basically been living a single life for 2 years. I don't know her actions during your 3rd year when you needed to regain muscles, etc from the comatose state, but I imagine it was still the same routine you describe. There is a lot both you and your wife missed out with each other emotionally, physically, and experience wise. Its like needing to play catch up and she doesn't know what to do so she avoids the problem by avoiding you. At the same time, now that you are moving around and getting much more improved, it also sounds like she doesn't want her "single" life to be over.

It seems odd to me that she would rip out pages from your log. What is she hiding is what I too would think. It is also is odd to me that she is away from you more than she is with you. Something is amiss that is for sure, and you don't need to be an expert to know this.

At this point, I would honestly sit her down and have a heart to heart. Spill out everything you have noticed since your physical well being improvement. Give her your honest thoughts while at the same time doing it without the emotional entanglement of anger or anything else that might degrade the situation between you two. If things get to heated, calmly say that "we need to stop, calm down, and we can discuss this when we both are clear headed again", and maybe even give a hug to defuse the hostility. This is a problem that needs to be nipped in the bud right away before you both lose more precious valuable time with each other.

Remind her that you both are married. This means she should wish to be with you more than her friends and job. My wife and I don't do anything without the other. Unless she is working, my wife goes where ever I go. Not because I make her or anything like that, but because she loves to and wises to. We got married because we love each other and wish to be with each other until Jesus comes or one of us passes away. If she wished to be away from me more than be with me, I would question her outright and direct. Both of you deserve honest answers and not beating around the bush. Do it with love and compassion.

Again, I am no expert and hold degrees. My approaches to things I do in life are bold and direct. I don't like beating around the bush and tip toeing over eggshells. I also like direct eye contact. Gives me a slight insight into serious conversations and the answering of questions one gives me.
 
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Catherineanne

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I hope to get insight to wife's thoughts? We were both married 28 years (she was my first date) ago in church and have 2 grown children. We are church members and served in marriage ministry for over 10 years.

We both held high executive positions and are financially independent. I bought a condo (under her name) 6 years ago - we are living there now. I love her very much ... never had any quarrels before my medical incident.

3 years ago I was medically mismanaged and caused me 2 years semi-comatosed (bed ridden). Many friends from home and abroad prayed for me. I woke up 1 year ago (couldn't hold a pencil) and undergone physiotherapy to help me regain my senses. I can now make a drink for myself and walk slowly. I am medically retired now.

My mental faculty resumed dramatically the past 6 months and noticed some strange behaviours exhibited by my wife. I hope some Christians can give me some insights to these behaviours.

Recently (past 4 months now), my wife goes to the gym at 6 am. At 8 am, she is off to office and return home past midnight (Mon till Fri). She said many teams to motivate/counsel, so after dinner they usually go clubbing. I asked if she is meeting clients. She said "No. Motivating staff. You have your own dinner and don't go out at night - in view of your condition.".

One evening she put me to bed at 9.30 pm and I woke up at 10.30 pm. I called out to her and searched all the rooms, she was not in the condo. I went downstairs to check her car and catch up on some reading. Her car was there and most likely someone fetched her out. At 12.30 am, she walked into the condo via side gate for residents. She was surprised to see me downstairs.

I asked "Where were you so late?".
She (wife) replied "Was having coffee with Ruby at Starbucks nearby. We met around 11.30 pm, she having issues at work."
I then said "I was down here since 10.30 pm .... didn't see you passed me by."
She (wife) replied "Oh. Time flies I didn't noticed the timing."
I asked (angrily) "Show me the message of your meeting."
She retorted "Phone is my private space. Go to bed, sick man!"
I showed her I noted our quarrel and incident in my log book.

Two days later she showed me the call log of her phone .... Ruby did call her at 7.45 am on that day. She did not let me hold her phone, just showed me the incoming log for the day. I was already surprised ... the rest of the log was her call to me and our daughters numbers. Very, very surprised "Why no one else called her?" Another surprised was the log was 28 June ... Ruby apparently called her at 7.45 am .... we quarreled at 1 am. She messed with her mobile log alibi. I didn't want to let her know I noticed and am well now.

Next morning, I pretended nothing happened. I saw her back from the gym at 7 am and said "Darling, careful with your exercise. Don't hurt your knees." She was very happy and thought I have a weak memory and tore off the page in my log book where I recorded our quarreling incident. I now recorded incident in my mobile where it is password encrypted.

1) I asked her if she want to resign from her job, she said "No. I enjoy my work and financial independence." I also asked if we should separate, she said "No. You are sick. I will be back before midnight then.". So now she is back by midnight (Mon-Fri) and I sometimes tasted alchohol in her lips when I kissed her.

2) Another thing that got me upset was my medical settlement ($500K) paid by hospital/doctor to me was banked into our joint account and she later transferred to ten x $50K Fixed Deposit certificates under her name.

3) We have own savings account. She asked me to transfer all of savings to her. I said "No" ... I have willed to our 2 children.

I am getting a PI to investigate her evenings clubbing with staff.

Any valid reasons for her behaviours (item 1 & 2)?

Your wife is being verbally abusive, evasive and probably worse, and you are keeping a log of her behaviour. I think it is fair to say this marriage is over.

You need a lawyer who can get that money back into your own bank account, and you need to file for divorce.
 
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Catherineanne

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Hello sir,

I congratulate you both for being married so long when I continue to hear stories of divorce rates climbing and people pawning each other off now days. However, I am sorry to see you go through this situation.

I am no expert in psychology. I have no degrees that would allow me to give expert opinions. All I can do, is from a different vantage point, give you my up most common sense answers from what I can see from your posting.

You said that you were "semi-comatose" for 2 years.

So, from her stand point, if she were to keep her job, she would need a home nurse (if you were home those 2 years) to stay with you for those 2 years or you were at the hospital those 2 years. Your wife has basically been living a single life for 2 years. I don't know her actions during your 3rd year when you needed to regain muscles, etc from the comatose state, but I imagine it was still the same routine you describe. There is a lot both you and your wife missed out with each other emotionally, physically, and experience wise. Its like needing to play catch up and she doesn't know what to do so she avoids the problem by avoiding you. At the same time, now that you are moving around and getting much more improved, it also sounds like she doesn't want her "single" life to be over.

It seems odd to me that she would rip out pages from your log. What is she hiding is what I too would think. It is also is odd to me that she is away from you more than she is with you. Something is amiss that is for sure, and you don't need to be an expert to know this.

At this point, I would honestly sit her down and have a heart to heart. Spill out everything you have noticed since your physical well being improvement. Give her your honest thoughts while at the same time doing it without the emotional entanglement of anger or anything else that might degrade the situation between you two. If things get to heated, calmly say that "we need to stop, calm down, and we can discuss this when we both are clear headed again", and maybe even give a hug to defuse the hostility. This is a problem that needs to be nipped in the bud right away before you both lose more precious valuable time with each other.

Remind her that you both are married. This means she should wish to be with you more than her friends and job. My wife and I don't do anything without the other. Unless she is working, my wife goes where ever I go. Not because I make her or anything like that, but because she loves to and wises to. We got married because we love each other and wish to be with each other until Jesus comes or one of us passes away. If she wished to be away from me more than be with me, I would question her outright and direct. Both of you deserve honest answers and not beating around the bush. Do it with love and compassion.

Again, I am no expert and hold degrees. My approaches to things I do in life are bold and direct. I don't like beating around the bush and tip toeing over eggshells. I also like direct eye contact. Gives me a slight insight into serious conversations and the answering of questions one gives me.

That bus left many, many months if not years ago.

The marriage is clearly over.
 
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tturt

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I wouldn't discuss it with her. No need laying all the cards on the table at this point. You need more log info. But I would contact the best attorney and get him/her on board to get their advice and your money back. Don't know about the laws in your state, she may still be entitled to half.

Agree with Solomon Porch's post.
 
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Kit Sigmon

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You don't need a PI, you need a good lawyer to help you protect your
behind and your assets.
You already know by your own PI work that your wife isn't behaving
properly... I will leave it at that.
 
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If she is not a professing Christian, then her ways are understandable, for they are worldly, secular: but if she says that she is a Christian, then are her ways sin, and she must repent if she truly seeks to be a follower of the Lord Jesus Christ, and be accounted worthy of Him.
 
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Conker

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Mate, I think keeping a log book is perfectly normal, you just think things out more logically. I'm deeply sorry for your situation. I am sorry to say that I do think that your marriage is going down the drain. I think she has probably cheated on you, and is now out for all of your assets. What you need to do is speak to a lawyer, about a divorce, and about retrieving any money taken, and keeping your assets. I wish you weren't going through this. You will be in my prayers. Always ask for more advice if you need it, and always pray to God.
 
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LoricaLady

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I hope to get insight to wife's thoughts? We were both married 28 years (she was my first date) ago in church and have 2 grown children. We are church members and served in marriage ministry for over 10 years.

We both held high executive positions and are financially independent. I bought a condo (under her name) 6 years ago - we are living there now. I love her very much ... never had any quarrels before my medical incident.

3 years ago I was medically mismanaged and caused me 2 years semi-comatosed (bed ridden). Many friends from home and abroad prayed for me. I woke up 1 year ago (couldn't hold a pencil) and undergone physiotherapy to help me regain my senses. I can now make a drink for myself and walk slowly. I am medically retired now.

My mental faculty resumed dramatically the past 6 months and noticed some strange behaviours exhibited by my wife. I hope some Christians can give me some insights to these behaviours.

Recently (past 4 months now), my wife goes to the gym at 6 am. At 8 am, she is off to office and return home past midnight (Mon till Fri). She said many teams to motivate/counsel, so after dinner they usually go clubbing. I asked if she is meeting clients. She said "No. Motivating staff. You have your own dinner and don't go out at night - in view of your condition.".

One evening she put me to bed at 9.30 pm and I woke up at 10.30 pm. I called out to her and searched all the rooms, she was not in the condo. I went downstairs to check her car and catch up on some reading. Her car was there and most likely someone fetched her out. At 12.30 am, she walked into the condo via side gate for residents. She was surprised to see me downstairs.

I asked "Where were you so late?".
She (wife) replied "Was having coffee with Ruby at Starbucks nearby. We met around 11.30 pm, she having issues at work."
I then said "I was down here since 10.30 pm .... didn't see you passed me by."
She (wife) replied "Oh. Time flies I didn't noticed the timing."
I asked (angrily) "Show me the message of your meeting."
She retorted "Phone is my private space. Go to bed, sick man!"
I showed her I noted our quarrel and incident in my log book.

Two days later she showed me the call log of her phone .... Ruby did call her at 7.45 am on that day. She did not let me hold her phone, just showed me the incoming log for the day. I was already surprised ... the rest of the log was her call to me and our daughters numbers. Very, very surprised "Why no one else called her?" Another surprised was the log was 28 June ... Ruby apparently called her at 7.45 am .... we quarreled at 1 am. She messed with her mobile log alibi. I didn't want to let her know I noticed and am well now.

Next morning, I pretended nothing happened. I saw her back from the gym at 7 am and said "Darling, careful with your exercise. Don't hurt your knees." She was very happy and thought I have a weak memory and tore off the page in my log book where I recorded our quarreling incident. I now recorded incident in my mobile where it is password encrypted.

1) I asked her if she want to resign from her job, she said "No. I enjoy my work and financial independence." I also asked if we should separate, she said "No. You are sick. I will be back before midnight then.". So now she is back by midnight (Mon-Fri) and I sometimes tasted alchohol in her lips when I kissed her.

2) Another thing that got me upset was my medical settlement ($500K) paid by hospital/doctor to me was banked into our joint account and she later transferred to ten x $50K Fixed Deposit certificates under her name.

3) We have own savings account. She asked me to transfer all of savings to her. I said "No" ... I have willed to our 2 children.

I am getting a PI to investigate her evenings clubbing with staff.

Any valid reasons for her behaviours (item 1 & 2)?

Listen to your instincts, but it is good you got a Private Investigator to reality check your suspicious. Yep, her behaviors seem very suspicious to me. Very. But the P.I. will hopefully have the data. In the meantime you are wise to tie up things financially so that you don't get in trouble that way. if she is being unfaithful that will maybe help you in court later.

i wouldn't trust her at all. If she is a cheater she is a liar and will lie and lie. Sad. But you are mending and you can get through this and be better off later I bet.
 
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adriw7878

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Thank you, brothers & sisters for your prayers and concerns. We were on family holidays last week. She had an interesting conversation with me over coffee. She said "Dear, we are getting older everyday don't take things seriously. Enjoy a day at a time." She told me she got someone to fetch me to home-group meeting while she will be out with staff ...clubbing. I engaged a PI.
 
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adriw7878

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I agree that it is strange, though I also find it strange that you are keeping a log book. (That said, I have never experienced your situation, so I do not know if that is a standard thing to do.)

Keep praying as well!
I kept a log due to my condition. I don't want to accused her of something that's not serious. She has stopped going to church and Christian home meetings. She suggested I go on my own ... she will organise transport for me.

I did asked her if she wanted a separation as I obviously cannot fulfill her sexual needs. She said " Don't be silly. No one will care for you."

Also, she told me she will be visiting Europe with her sister (a divorcee) and I stayed home to care for myself. I told her "No problem." Acted cool as if no problem in future.

Getting PI to check her "motivation sessions in clubs", with photographic evidences if possible.
 
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ToBeLoved

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I kept a log due to my condition. I don't want to accused her of something that's not serious. She has stopped going to church and Christian home meetings. She suggested I go on my own ... she will organise transport for me.

I did asked her if she wanted a separation as I obviously cannot fulfill her sexual needs. She said " Don't be silly. No one will care for you."

Also, she told me she will be visiting Europe with her sister (a divorcee) and I stayed home to care for myself. I told her "No problem." Acted cool as if no problem in future.

Getting PI to check her "motivation sessions in clubs", with photographic evidences if possible.
I do think that you need a good support system around yourself and do not neglect your spiritual life.

While all this is going on, do try to do some things that you love and make you happy. I know this is a very confusing time, but if you do not find good news from your PI you are going to need mental and physical strength to move forward. Do not wear yourself down or not take care of yourself.

God bless you.
 
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*LILAC

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Thank you, brothers & sisters for your prayers and concerns. We were on family holidays last week. She had an interesting conversation with me over coffee. She said "Dear, we are getting older everyday don't take things seriously. Enjoy a day at a time." She told me she got someone to fetch me to home-group meeting while she will be out with staff ...clubbing. I engaged a PI.
Totally understand your reasons for logging and getting a PI! Many red flags with what she's said. WHO goes out clubbing with staff? Sorry, I would not buy that for a split second.

But how are you? Do you have Christian friends with whom you can confide in? Are you still in regular attendance with church?
 
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tturt

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It's vital to get a log. Writing helps keep things in perspective for one thing. Would be cautious confiding in someone.

One more thing - does she use your computer or are ya'll networked together?

Sorry that it has gotten to this point.
 
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ToBeLoved

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Your wife is being verbally abusive, evasive and probably worse, and you are keeping a log of her behaviour. I think it is fair to say this marriage is over.

You need a lawyer who can get that money back into your own bank account, and you need to file for divorce.
So as a Christian you are all for getting a divorce without trying to work it out or doing all he can do?

We all did make a covenant with God as well as our spouse.
 
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If she is not a professing Christian, then her ways are understandable, for they are worldly, secular: but if she says that she is a Christian, then are her ways sin, and she must repent if she truly seeks to be a follower of the Lord Jesus Christ, and be accounted worthy of Him.
I don't think she is a Christian anymore. She doesn't want to go to church or home meetings anymore. I go on my own. I also noticed she doesn't play Christian songs on her car radio anymore. Only 1980s lovey dovey pop songs.
At recent family holiday, we sat and chat over coffee. She didn't deny having sex with office mate (over 200 staff). She said "I have needs too!" Getting PI to check her out this Friday ... having farewell party for staff. Once I have evidence, will file for divorce, reclaim my cash and return my wedding ring to the church.
 
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