Christian to Agnostic?

[Hannah2000]

Thank you for all your replies, I'll reply to you individually but I've changed my views from what I have originally posted. I was very upset at the time but I know I shouldn't take that out on God.

 

[PumptheBrakes]

You're saying you feel so morally convicted that you're not sure (or don't want to be sure) that there is a God, in order to hopefully alleviate some of that conviction? Talk to someone, get help for how you're feeling, and please... don't kill yourself, because you are loved. I think every Christian can say they've had a time where they're not sure if God is really there, and we've all directed some of that anger towards God like you seem to be doing. But... TAKE SOME RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS AND ACTIONS! God knows exactly how he made you, and he made you with intent and purpose! Are you asking Him for a refund? Are you not satisfied with the breath He has given you? Do you think He messed up?

My advice is just to talk to someone, and I want you to know that you are not alone. You are going through a metamorphosis, and when you emerge you will be a beautiful butterfly.

 

[rjs330]

You face the same problem many Christians face. Some are born with diabetes or born with deformed limbs or any miriad of biehthh defects including mental disorders.

One thing to remember is NO ONE is born a Christian. Faith comes by hearing. You are not born with it. You heard the gospel and believed.

The struggles you face are ones that you were born with before you believed. You would have the same struggles without your faith. So, what's the difference you might ask?
The difference is how you look at your difficulty and what you do with it. As a believer it's okay to recognize your illness. It's okay as a believer to seek medical or psychological assistance. God provides those people for us to help us ALONG with spiritual guidance.

The Bible tells us to have the mind of Christ. It tells us that our thought life is crucial to our living life as a believer. As a man thinketh is a verse that describes our thought life. Paul tells us what we ought to think about.

I would encourage you to do several things. Seek professional help with your depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts.
Seek spiritual counseling to help you wrestle with why God made you this way and why God allows illness and sickness.
Read and study in depth scriptures that talk about what we should be thinking about and what our minds should be filled with.
Check out James MacDonalds series on "Think Differently" it can be found on you tube.
Pray...a lot asking the Holy Spirit to understand, accept and follow the truths given to you by your counselors, the word I'd God and the teaching of Paster MacDonald.

And be prepared for a life long battle. This is not a Sprint, but a long distance race. Be in it for the long haul. And never, ever give up. For if God is with us, who can be against us. Victory only comes to those who perservere to the end. God bless you my friend! Remember that nothing is impossible for those who are in Christ Jesus. The scriptures don't tell us everything is easy. But it does tell us that we win in the end if we press on despite the adversity of life.

 

[Halbhh]

He who said "love one another" also told us that if we come to Him and learn from Him (from His words to us), that we could find rest in our souls:

28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Here're accounts of what Jesus said and did:
Luke 1 NIV
Matthew 1 NIV (Matthew begins with a genealogy, many of which ancestors of Joseph and Mary are key figures in the Old Testament; it is okay to begin even in chapter 3 instead if you have an need to get sooner to the words of Jesus.)

 

[Sanoy]

Let's consider your objection for a moment that is leading to your agnosticism.

You consider it objectively wrong to create someone with these conditions. But where else but God can you derive objective moral values and duties? The objection is circular, it requires the existence of God to even make the objection.

Stephen Hawking credits his disease as the essential cause of his scientific success and contribution to society. And here you have an OCD augmenting your ability to do the right things! How many of us pray every day to be strengthened to do the right things and still can't. Instead of praying for its removal pray for guidance to use it for the glory of God.

Greatness doesn't come from being normal, it comes from mastering your differences.

 

[Mari17]

OK, I have OCD so I know how you feel. But here's the thing - the fears are from your OCD. Not from God, or from being a Christian. OCD attacks whatever is most important to a person. In this case, it's your religious beliefs. So even if you do give up on God, it's likely that your OCD will find something else to be worried about. Having OCD is just like any other hardship in life, including physical trials (because technically it is a physical disorder). It's not always fair, but we can learn to deal with it and to let God use it to draw us closer to Him and to make us better people. Don't give up! I am normally an even-keeled, naturally optimistic person, but OCD sometimes makes me feel almost suicidal - I've been there and I'm here to say, THERE IS HOPE. I can give you more information and links to resources if you want, but I thought I'd start with this for now. There is freedom, it's just a matter of learning to work with your mind and have control over the OCD.

 

[Therese Rose]

Hi so I've had OCD since around about the beginning of 2017 and it mainly revolved around moral perfection which led me to confess and apologise to people to relieve anxiety which ultimately always comes back. I've had suicidal thoughts multiple times and I've been thinking recently that if God is there why would he let me be like this? Why would he let me feel so bad that I can't concentrate on work or I have suicidal thoughts? So I've been considering becoming agnostic. I know it's not going to cure my OCD but hopefully it can alleviate some anxiety. I don't want to die but at the same time God must've known I would be like this before I was born and I never asked to be born like this. I'm kind of nervous at the prospect of becoming agnostic because that means I would have to give up on the idea of heaven but I have been having doubts for a while anyway. I don't know what to do anymore. Has anyone else left Christianity or have any advice? (Christians or non Christians)

You should described the exact type of OCD that I have too! It's been especially bad this past year as well. So you're really not alone. You're right though, God knew you were like this before you were born, but in his eyes you are PERFECT this way. You don't have to confess anything to anyone except to God, and he'll always forgive you. You deserve to love yourself and to be happy and I hope that you're able to do that!

 

[Therese Rose]

Let's consider your objection for a moment that is leading to your agnosticism.

You consider it objectively wrong to create someone with these conditions. But where else but God can you derive objective moral values and duties? The objection is circular, it requires the existence of God to even make the objection.

Stephen Hawking credits his disease as the essential cause of his scientific success and contribution to society. And here you have an OCD augmenting your ability to do the right things! How many of us pray every day to be strengthened to do the right things and still can't. Instead of praying for its removal pray for guidance to use it for the glory of God.

Greatness doesn't come from being normal, it comes from mastering your differences.

Agreed! You have a special insight to help you aid others like you or who might have similar mood or mental disorders. You're clearly well-spoken. You could become a mental health advocate and even turn it into a career.

 

[Therese Rose]

Hi so I've had OCD since around about the beginning of 2017 and it mainly revolved around moral perfection which led me to confess and apologise to people to relieve anxiety which ultimately always comes back. I've had suicidal thoughts multiple times and I've been thinking recently that if God is there why would he let me be like this? Why would he let me feel so bad that I can't concentrate on work or I have suicidal thoughts? So I've been considering becoming agnostic. I know it's not going to cure my OCD but hopefully it can alleviate some anxiety. I don't want to die but at the same time God must've known I would be like this before I was born and I never asked to be born like this. I'm kind of nervous at the prospect of becoming agnostic because that means I would have to give up on the idea of heaven but I have been having doubts for a while anyway. I don't know what to do anymore. Has anyone else left Christianity or have any advice? (Christians or non Christians)

To be honest, I've tried a couple different medications for my anxiety and despite them making me calmer, I'm way happier when I just feel like myself. I'm currently trying to decide what to do. I don't even mind feeling nervous if i can feel like me again. Being on the other side and realizing that I am and already was a decent human being is really nice and you'll get there too.

 

[Sanoy]

Agreed! You have a special insight to help you aid others like you or who might have similar mood or mental disorders. You're clearly well-spoken. You could become a mental health advocate and even turn it into a career.

Thank you for the kind words!