Christian struggling... can you help me?

[themusiczealot]

I struggle to be bold, among other things. My name is Ashley and I'm 17...
Today at youth group, while we were singing, I kept getting distracted from God and I struggled to be bold enough to sing when everyones' voices got quieter while singing. In fact, my body temperature rose and I almost started sweating. I struggle to be bold...
These distractions are off and on and it's a constant battle. I can not tell you how much I would like to just turn OFF these distractions. I just want to serve my God without thinking what other people think of me! I don't want feel like the only one in my youth group who cares and strives toward salvation but that's what it has felt like, and it makes me feel isolated in my own age group.
For the longest time I didn't even want to obey the preacher's teaching even though I knew he was probably right.
I didn't want to bow down to his wishes or surrender to his teaching.

Now I understand, and I want to surrender my whole being and just FREE myself from this bondage..
I feel tormented by distractions, and things around me even in youth group and church and life in general that serve to take my focus off Christ. I want my thoughts to be consumed in Christ-like thinking so that I just won't fall again. I feel chained and bound by what other people think of me. In the past, other people's opinion has had dominion over me. I want to be FREE! through Christ alone.
I need someone to cling to and empower me to have strength and courage and perseverance through these times, especially once school starts. Pray that God send me someone, a friend, maybe someone my own age with the same beliefs as I do, who relates to me in every sense...
I pray for the renewal of my mind, and humility, and a discerning heart, and boldness. I am easily distracted and distressed when I don't know should I do this or should I not? ...I feel like there is a blurred line here. Pray that God is very clear and firm on what He wants me to do next...
Today, I am able to deal with this tension...but it isn't convenient for me to stay in my present condition, and I don't think it's the Lord's will either. To grow in faith, I'll read His word and just saturate my mind, pray, and obey...


Thank you for reading everything here.. I don't want my head to go below water... Please send a helpful reply...

 

[SharonL]

Hi Ashley:

First off, God knows your heart and this is the most important thing. Second - the Bible tells us there is a time for all things - Read Ecclesiastes 3:1

God is not sitting in Heaven with a fly swatter ready to swat you every time your mind wonders. The Bible tells us that Jesus is our Friend - how do we act as a friend - you talk to Him, you laugh with Him, you sing with Him, you enjoy Him - this is how we are to act with Jesus. He does not expect you to just sit and think of Him constantly - He expects you to LIVE with Him, walk with Him daily. Being in prayer does not mean to just be on your knees with Bible in hand - it means we walk daily in prayer - not just saying prayers, as you go through your daily life and someone or something comes to mind that you should pray for, just talk to Jesus - that is prayer also.

Let the light of Jesus shine through you and let the people around you see the Joy of walking with God, if you are constantly worrying about keeping your thoughts on Jesus, no Joy is shining through. Be free in your worship. You read the Bible so God can speak to your through His Word - don't just read to read, read to study and when God needs your attention, He will bring a verse to you, this helps guide us in our walk.

You said something in your post that caught my eye 'I didn't want to bow down to his wishes or surrender to his teaching.' speaking of your Pastor - never bow down to anyone's teachings - there are lots of false teachings out there - but let the Holy Spirit guide you - you will feel this still small voice or a catch in your Spirit and that is the Holy Spirit leading you.

Don't let all the man made rules in the churches ingulf you - man is so busy telling you what you can't do that they don't take time to tell you what God can do. Legalism in the churches is so strong these days that it takes all the Joy out of your walk with God. Just enjoy God and put your hand in the hand of Jesus and let the Holy Spirit guide you - ask Jesus to fill you with His Holy Spirit - and you will walk with a portion of the very Spirit of Jesus and your walk will be much closer to God and the Joy will shine through. Don't worry about what people think of you - the only opinion that counts is God's and He is smiling down on you right now because of your eagerness to serve Him. But let that serving be done with Joy and not obligation to the point that you cannot enjoy the walk.

Blessings

 

[Johnnz]

Be yourself. Jesus accepts you as you are. We are all different.

Focusing on Jesus is not being 'religious' all the time or even thinking of him constantly. We are not made that way. When we focus on anything thing - reading, eating, talking, studying etc that dominates our thinking. We can't go around just thinking of Jesus all the time.

Some people have active minds and don't stay focused on one thing for too long. Nothing wrong with that either.

John
NZ

 

[razeontherock]

Big hugs for the music zealot and welcome to CF!!

You have SUCH a pure and beautiful heart! No, really. That is the Lord Himself in you! If you're going to perform as a musician you need to get very confident in the fact that He is sent after the Glory, (Zechariah 2:8) just stand back and let Him have it. Those make good times to touch the hem of His garment as He passes by, BTW

SO good to see Sharon speaking such powerful Truths to you! This is as it should be.

Let me just add one thing that while it's normal to want a flesh and blood friend to help you with your own convictions and decisions, what you're praying for has been sent. He's the Comforter. Other people walking that closely to Him seem to be harder and harder to find, and I don't expect that trend to reverse. That's part of what makes CF such a Blessing! There are many good-hearted people here who know their Lord. Discernment is still necessary.

How long have you known Him? Have you read through the whole Bible, or at least the whole New Testament? You are clearly on the right path ...

 

[heymikey80]

Honesty and openness are important. If you really want to build relationships, you have to be vulnerable to some extent. But obviously you need to be successful as well in building relationships with other believers. We're called to communion with one another, among us believers.

You also have to do what will make you stronger, spiritually. Often what makes you stronger is not what you expect. Often when you don't do something and it cuts against your conscience, that conscience will steel you for doing something more. But there's advantage both ways. When you do something small, it also builds you up for doing something more. Taking a giant step though, it may put you at too much of a mental risk at first. Take small steps. Many small steps will eventually reach the same point as one big step.

Sometimes the issue among other people is that they've had the same trouble as you're having, and they're scared to stick out, too.

Other times they don't know how to express it. They really haven't had the first exposure to interest as intense as yours. By your words I'm thinking they appear not to be able to respond to it well. That's an indicator. They may not know how to respond without seeming cliche.

I'd say, don't see them as the opposition. See them as the field for growth. How can you help them grow? How do you explain honestly the pressures that go on in your own thoughts? How can you approach the situation redemptively? It's a tall order to figure out what to do next. You may need to identify other people who believe, and get their "take" on their experiences in your youth group, why they behave the way they do.

 

[princesslily]

Hi ashley,
While I may not be as experienced as some since I've only known Him for 2yrs I do now how it feels to feel alone in your desire to remain close to Christ, I don't have any flesh and blood Christian friends so I seek out online communities or just immersing myself in His Word. Its hard to be young but. Know that Jesus loves you and is with you even as you struggle to help lift you right back up. You sound like such a wonderful young lady and you are in my prayers. Have a blessed day.

 

[Sketcher]

To be honest, whenever you get distracted in worship, the best medicine for that is to sing a little bit louder and renew your focus on the lyrics. If it's other people you're concerned about, remember they're singing too, or at least they should be singing. So don't worry about them.

 

[Peripatetic]

Good advice above... especially "God knows your heart" and "Be yourself... we are all different". God gave you those aspects of your personality. There will be times when you have to rise above and show unnatural boldness, but you can't expect to live your life as if you were another person.

 

[pilgrimgal]

Hi Ashley, Trust God who has begun a good work in you to complete it. Be at peace as best you can. You are not alone in being distracted at times. Take a few deep breaths and remember that seldom does anyone really notice that you are getting warm and feeling as you do..they are experiencing how they feel and many of them feel as you do or did and got passed it to continue. It takes time and experience to become more at ease. Because you have shared your needs here with us God heard them too. Expect that He hears your prayer and ours for you.

Praying for you as you have asked and also that God sends a good friend your way with whom you can share. But remember to get a friend you must be willing to be one. Good friendship is always about both of you sharing and supporting each other. Or it could be very beneficial to meet with and talk how you feel over with your youth minister, pastor, or an adult you trust... privately so they can know you have a problem and that you are struggling to overcome it.

Bless you.

 

[DoctorJosh]

I struggle to be bold, among other things. My name is Ashley and I'm 17...
Today at youth group, while we were singing, I kept getting distracted from God and I struggled to be bold enough to sing when everyones' voices got quieter while singing. In fact, my body temperature rose and I almost started sweating. I struggle to be bold...
These distractions are off and on and it's a constant battle. I can not tell you how much I would like to just turn OFF these distractions. I just want to serve my God without thinking what other people think of me! I don't want feel like the only one in my youth group who cares and strives toward salvation but that's what it has felt like, and it makes me feel isolated in my own age group.
For the longest time I didn't even want to obey the preacher's teaching even though I knew he was probably right.
I didn't want to bow down to his wishes or surrender to his teaching.

Now I understand, and I want to surrender my whole being and just FREE myself from this bondage..
I feel tormented by distractions, and things around me even in youth group and church and life in general that serve to take my focus off Christ. I want my thoughts to be consumed in Christ-like thinking so that I just won't fall again. I feel chained and bound by what other people think of me. In the past, other people's opinion has had dominion over me. I want to be FREE! through Christ alone.
I need someone to cling to and empower me to have strength and courage and perseverance through these times, especially once school starts. Pray that God send me someone, a friend, maybe someone my own age with the same beliefs as I do, who relates to me in every sense...
I pray for the renewal of my mind, and humility, and a discerning heart, and boldness. I am easily distracted and distressed when I don't know should I do this or should I not? ...I feel like there is a blurred line here. Pray that God is very clear and firm on what He wants me to do next...
Today, I am able to deal with this tension...but it isn't convenient for me to stay in my present condition, and I don't think it's the Lord's will either. To grow in faith, I'll read His word and just saturate my mind, pray, and obey...


Thank you for reading everything here.. I don't want my head to go below water... Please send a helpful reply...

That is very understandable and many can relate to the same thing they went through in their youth. I found that if I just focus on what Jesus thinks of me, others will think I am a fool, but if I try to please them then Jesus will think I am a fool. So chose Jesus to please and forgot about everyone else since a million opinions didn't matter to me anymore, it was just pleasing Jesus that mattered. So I belonged to no group, no class of people, but I was just me and the only me in the world and I did what I could to please Jesus and found my own interests and some really good friends just entered my life and are still my friends even today. The others, well they went their way and I went mine. Others went their way and followed their path later in life even, a few I knew for years just never came around anymore. So, one thing we find out is that Jesus is a True Friend who will never leave us, even when all the others have gone and been married, or just followed a different path in life. Yet, each day I still meet new friends and those that have the same interests we have BBQ's together or go fishing, but I expect one day they will move or something and all the while, Jesus is still there. Remember everyone will have their own opinion, some think we are goofy, others think we are trying to be better than them, others think we are snooty, others will think we are not good enough for them, yet even others will have that common interest you do and will want to forget trying to please the world, but just Please Jesus. So why try and please everyone when it can't be done? So we just try and please Jesus and everything works out fine. God Bless.