Christian platitudes?

[ThisIsMe123]

Not sure if it's a platitude, but I think it's something close.

One Christian single lady I was getting to know. I had noticed her height requirement in a man was min. of 5'10". I am 5'8" and I had asked her if a guy a bit shorter than that, would she be okay with that.

She answered, "If God has guided me to do so, then yes".

I thought this was an unusual way to answer a question. I mean, why not say, "Yeah, sure, if he's a sweet guy, great personality, I can be flexible" and leave it at that?

 

[bèlla]

The ‘God card’ is less offensive and alleviates an argument. If you disagree she can simply direct you to Him. Problem solved.

The bigger issue is less obvious. Many Christians are uncomfortable acknowledging their preferences and calling them what they are. There is little to no difference in what Christians are seeking companion wise and what the secular market is saying. Your lone difference is God.

And if you pick that apart long enough you’ll spot the dichotomy and why statements like hers are easier for both. Most aren’t judging through the lens of faith. If they were most of those qualifiers would be moot.

The marriage minded man who wants a family would seek a woman who loves the Lord, is family oriented, and desires to have children. Its the extras that have contributed to singleness in Christian circles.

 

[JustSomeBloke]

There is little to no difference in what Christians are seeking companion wise and what the secular market is saying. Your lone difference is God.

I think the sad reality is that Christians are bombarded with secular standards of what an ideal relationship looks like, and many sucumb.

 

[VMaeLove]

I am sure some where in the Bible God made a chart for relationship height requirement.
But I do not know how they measure it at that time

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

that's the meta-game.

once you understand it, you're not so offended by it and can navigate it a lot better.

 

[Rigatoni]

She may not have completely trusted you, and was refraining from being completely open / transparent right away.

 

[bèlla]

I think the sad reality is that Christians are bombarded with secular standards of what an ideal relationship looks like, and many sucumb.

People aren’t as God-centered as they profess. And I don’t think they really want Him to choose their companion. You hear that platitude when they agree. But its another matter when they don’t. ;-)

 

[Gnarwhal]

She answered, "If God has guided me to do so, then yes".

why not say, "Yeah, sure, if he's a sweet guy, great personality, I can be flexible" and leave it at that?

People love to frame it in those terms because they think it absolves them of any guilt associated with being shallow, in some abstract way. Whether it's rejecting a would-be relationship or breaking off an existing one, if the rejecting party passes the buck to God then they don't believe it's their fault because "God did it" and therefore the rejected party has no right to an explanation, to be angry, or even to be hurt because expecting any of that would be questioning God.

It's the mark of an immature person not because they're involving God, but because they're not able or willing to recognize their own agency or their own contributions.

 

[Rigatoni]

I usually like to give people the benefit of the doubt, especially without knowing the whole story. But I would have to agree with the general consensus: she was being shallow, and was using God as a way to mask it. There's a lot of people like that online unfortunately, even on Christian dating sites. I find it highly ironic, yet it is reality.

 

[bèlla]

I think people should be honest. I tell all to a serious prospect. Its liberating.

 

[Noxot]

Women often survived by being agreeable, kind, and non-aggressive. it's annoying when a female will agree with you or say anything (even lie) for the sake of peace.

but if even kindness is only an evolutionary trait for survival then is it really spiritual kindness at all? When we die we will be stripped of our accidental nature and only what we truly became will be left.

So live in the spirit and not the flesh, whatever that means. to correctly judge a person you must know their Inner Man, not their mere outer conditions and appearances. Therefore there can be many correct judgments that are sometimes true.

 

[bèlla]

Women often survived by being agreeable, kind, and non-aggressive. it's annoying when a female will agree with you or say anything (even lie) for the sake of peace.

I find male weakness equally annoying. There’s nothing worse than the neutered male who stands erect hoping you don't notice. I’ve seen them supplicated and wholly at home.

 

[Gnarwhal]

There’s nothing worse than the neutered male who stands erect hoping you don't notice.

That's vague.

 

[bèlla]

That's vague.

No it isn’t. There are many who are hoping their fractured masculinity isn’t noticed by women. They want to be perceived as something that they aren’t.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

I think people should be honest. I tell all to a serious prospect. Its liberating.

most women do.

the meta-game is for the undesirables.

 

[bèlla]

most women do.

the meta-game is for the undesirables.

What if the undesirables are the norm? Then what?

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

What if the undesirables are the norm? Then what?

well....practice makes perfect.

 

[bèlla]

well....practice makes perfect.

I’m not attracted. I’ve crossed too many lines to lie.

 

[Gnarwhal]

No it isn’t. There are many who are hoping their fractured masculinity isn’t noticed by women. They want to be perceived as something that they aren’t.

So tell me. What kind of behavior falls under the category of this "fractured masculinity"?

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

I’m not attracted. I’ve crossed too many lines to lie.

that's fine. there will be many males who will appreciate a woman flat out telling them "I don't find you attractive in the least and I would never go out with you".

for others playing the meta game, it's helpful to be able to read the ques. saves you a lot of frustration.