Christian Jargon

[Jipsah]

Are there any expressions that Christians habitually use that drive you nuts? I have a bunch of them.

My favorite, of course, is "but what that means is..." followed by the person's doctrinal opinion which may or may not have anything to do with the Bible verses in question.

"Well in my Bible it says..." (Do you have a version of your own? Did you translate it your own self?) This is used to establish the person's superior knowledge of the Bible.

"Last time I checked..." (And when was that exactly? Did you check carefully?) Another "I'm smarter than you" putdown phrase.

"Please bless us in a special way". Prayer jargon, apparently asking God to skip the mundane workaday blessings and give us something really choice this time.

End Times fans talk about when The AntiChrist will "arrive on the scene", although why they like the phrase so much is unclear.

Of course we all use "the clear teaching of Scripture" to mean whatever it is that we believe whether of not is has anything to do with the Bible at all.

Y'all got any favorites?

 

[Tonks]

It is hard to beat "the clear teaching of Scripture." That made me laugh (as did the rest of the list).

 

[Melethiel]

Hmm...the excessive use of the word "just". As in, "Lord, we just want to praise you, and we just love you, in just every way..."

I'm sure there are more, if I think about it.

 

[tulc]

I've always disliked "well remember, we must love the sinner, and hate the sin!" which usually would more honestly be "hate the sin, loath the sinner!"
tulc(just my opinion)

 

[elizabethevangeline]

I've always disliked "well remember, we must love the sinner, and hate the sin!" which usually would more honestly be "hate the sin, loath the sinner!"
tulc(just my opinion)

yah, a youth pastor once told my brother "I don't like you, but I love you in Christ".

 

[Quijote]

yah, a youth pastor once told my brother "I don't like you, but I love you in Christ".

That would've been an awesome Clint Eastwood one liner!!!

 

[Peaceful Dove]

Hmm...the excessive use of the word "just". As in, "Lord, we just want to praise you, and we just love you, in just every way..."

I'm sure there are more, if I think about it.

This is also my greatest pet peeve. In fact, it has now gone way past being a pet peeve. Everytime I hear someone pray this way, I crack up laughing. And worse yet, add the newest Christian buzz... "and Lord we JUST STAND IN THE GAP.." Sheesh, who started this stuff?

 

[daveleau]

I've always disliked "well remember, we must love the sinner, and hate the sin!" which usually would more honestly be "hate the sin, loath the sinner!"
tulc(just my opinion)

I know what you mean. This one's grounded in Scripture, though. It is sad that people don't follow this as they should and your disdain is the sad side effect of a chronic problem in Christianity. Catholics have a term for this, which I think applies to all congregations by calling them Cafeteria Catholics. They have their bits and pieces of theology and ethics, yet don't follow the rest, like love and forgiveness. I have known my share of cafeteria Baptists and Pentecostals. The issue is not with the statement but with the hypocricy behind it. It is possible and Scriptural to love people but hate their actions.

My biggest "pet-peeve" jargon is manifest in just about every church I visit. "Well, the Baptists believe..." or "Catholics teach..." or The Lutherans down the street do..." -all followed by a hearty chuckle of ridicule. Granted, I often agree with the rebuke, but the way it is presented is utterly fruitless. This is the biggest turn-off and the quickest way to turn your teachings into a work that is only disguised as a work for God. Tearing down other Christians with ridicule is so common and such a shame.

 

[Melethiel]

And worse yet, add the newest Christian buzz... "and Lord we JUST STAND IN THE GAP.."

What in the world does that mean?

 

[revduane]

The one thats just grips me, and makes me partially homicidal is, "I am just an ooolllldddd sinner saved by grace." No you are now Righteous by the blood of Jesus, and God see you as perfect by the blood covering.

Another one is when someone say's that, "The Lord helps those that help themselves."

 

[Mskedi]

Oh, so many...

I agree with "Love the sinner, hate the sin." It always sounds mean.

Anything too mushy kinda irks me... the focus on being the bride of Christ, for example. It's a metaphor. Some people refer to it too often for my own comfort. Also, the "Jesus, lover of my soul..." song... it just feels weird to me.

"It's a relationship, not a religion." It may be a religion that involves a relationship, but please don't tell me your belief in a supreme being is not a religion. And please don't tell me that I'm a bad person for referring to my beliefs as a religion.

Anything having to do with a "walk" with God. e.g., "He's not as far in his walk with God as I am..." There are other ways to say this. Variety is not evil.

 

[Willtor]

"God is soooo awesome!"

Actually, "awesome" in just about any context. Pop Christian culture has ruined this word for me.

 

[Dmckay]

This is from my files. I no longer remember the particulars of how it came about:

BROTHERLY BANALITIES

Share—Christians do not tell. They share. They do not criticize, give, testify, talk, or harangue. They share.

Share Together—As contrasted with sharing by yourself.

Partake—What sharees do when sharers are sharing something.

One-on-One relationship—As opposed to two-on-two relationships, three-on-three relationships, etc. (And who said basketball never contributed anything substantial to Christianity?)

Give Us Your Testimony—And be sure to leave in all the rotten, sordid details.

Share What’s on Your Heart—Unless, of course, it’s heartburn.

Heartwarming—One degree below hemtburn.

Grieved in My Heart—You tick me off.

Losing the Victory—As compared to winning the defeat.

Praise the Lord—A person’s true spirituality can be quickly ascertained by counting the number of times per day he or she uses this phrase. 400 + = Saint; 300–400 = Graduate of the School of Praise; 200–300 = Vibrant Christian; 50–200 = Lukewarm; Under 50 = Backslider.

Vibrant Christian—See Praise the Lord.

That’s Beautiful—May be substituted for Praise the Lord, provided the sharer is grinning in a mellow, nonjudgmental way at the sharee. Scores same as Praise the Lord.

When I Was in the World—O’boy. Now we get to the good part of the testimony

Love of the Lord—What you love someone with when the pastor tells you to turn to the stranger on your left and tell them, “I love you.”

PULPIT PLATITUDES

Heart and Life—The average pastor will use this term often during the average Sermon.

The World in Which We Live—As contrasted with the world in which television’s alien Mork lives.

The Lord Said to Me—I had a feeling. (Also a good phrase to beef up a poorly prepared sermon. If they won’t listen to you, maybe they’ll listen to God.)

Today’s World—Those of you living in tomorrow’s world may be excused.

Lift Up in Prayer to the Throne of Grace—You eight guys here in the front lift George up, and you four over there…

Lay Hold Of—What you do to the Throne of Grace while lifting someone up in prayer.

Deep Truths—Up till now I’ve just been dishing up shallow truths.

Burdened with the Cares of This World—Fed up.

Burning on My Heart—My doctor told me never to eat pizza before I preach.

Amen?—Preacher’s wake-’em-up phrase, usually followed by dull silence from congregation.

I Said ‘AMEN?’—Proper homiletical follow-up for above phrase. Executed while leaning over pulpit, hand cupped to ear.

Touch People’s Lives (and Hearts)—Then get out as soon as possible.

Outreach—What we have when we are trying to touch people’s lives (and hearts).

Extend the Right Hand of Fellowship—The world in which we live calls it “shaking hands.”

Dear Lord God and Precious Heavenly Father—Public prayers must be thus prefaced or they will be sent to the wrong address.

Declare His Word—Shout your doctrine

Plugged into the Spirit—How did the church ever manage to talk about spiritual power before the discovery of electricity?

At the Present Time—Or were you wanting to know about the future?

The Bottom Line—What do you mean the church is too finance-conscious?

EVANGELISTIC EPITHETS

Accept Jesus into Your Heart—Okay, if you won’t give him your heart, he’ll just have to come in and get it.

Open Heart—What you must have before Jesus can come in. Bring your own scalpel.

Get to Know God Personally—Just drop by anytime.

PROMOTIONAL PUFFERY

Internationally–Known Evangelist (Singer)—He preached (sang) in Tijuana once, and his mother lives in Toronto.

Vital Message of the Hour—We will be delivering 24 of these each day, 168 each week, 8,736 per year…

Multi-Media Production—Two-projector slide show.

Scriptural Keys for Living—Pat formulas to help you obtain success, abundance, and prosperity.

Dynamic—It is against the law to run any kind of church or evangelistic ad without using this term at least twice.

Exciting, Excited—Almost every ad for a Christian book, ministry, movie, magazine, church, evangelist, minister, teacher, or project must contain the phrase “It’s Exciting” or “I’m Excited.” That’s protection against a dull image.

Food, Fun, and Fellowship—It is believed the Apostle Paul invented this phrase, and it has been used in church bulletins ever since.

Time of Fellowship—A period of stiff socializing following a worship service.

The Public Is Invited—If they aren’t, why bother to print this announcement

Come Together—As opposed to coming apart

!—Main form of punctuation for dynamic, exciting Christian acts and books.

MOTIVATIONAL MIASMAS

Catch the Vision—Get with the program, Jack.

Trust That…—I hope to God you’ll be sensible enough to…

Join with Us in…—See Catch the Vision.

Build Your Faith—Assert yourself to the proper level of enthusiasm. (And all this time you thought God parceled out the faith.)

Let’s Believe Together for…—What you do after you’ve built your faith.

Dear Friend—Radio preacher talk for “People I’ve never seen or met, but who are potential donors.”

Opportunity to Have a Part—What a radio preacher is giving you when he asks for an offering.

As the Lord Leads—As your guilt becomes unbearable. (Usually precedes a “sacrificial” offering.)

We Encourage (Challenge) You to…—See Catch the Vision and As the Lord Leads.

Rise to the Challenge—Perhaps we could take care of this while we’re lifting things to the Throne of Grace. (See also Catch the Vision.)

Further the Ministry—Keep this thing afloat.

Love Offering—As opposed to a Hate Dffering. The proceeds are usually the same, but a love offering is used to Further the Ministry, while a hate offering Is used to say, “The further this ministry gets away from us, the better.”

Let Us Work Together to…—Why don’t you…

And so, dear friends, let us work together in our day-to-day lives to abolish the bromides which daily burden us. Not only these we have mentioned, but others, such as: “Total Commitment,” “Come Expecting a Miracle,” “Moving in a Powerful Way,” and “Growing in the Lord.” The concepts, dear friends, are dynamic and exciting, but in terms of the vital message of the hour, the hackneyed phrases we use will no longer touch people’s lives (and hearts) in the world in which we live. I trust you will lay hold of the deep truths which I have shared, a message that has been burning on my heart. As the Lord leads, let us rise to the challenge declared in his Word. Let’s build our faith and believe together that it can be done. Praise the Lord! I don’t know about you, but I’m excited about the dynamic opportunities of outreach in today’s world, and the bottom line is that we’ve got to start using some new platitudes. That’s art exciting challenge, amen? I said, ‘AMEN?’

 

[Melethiel]

Dmckay wins, hands down.

 

[MauriceTheMartyr]

This is from my files. I no longer remember the particulars of how it came about:

BROTHERLY BANALITIES

Share—Christians do not tell. They share. They do not criticize, give, testify, talk, or harangue. They share.

Share Together—As contrasted with sharing by yourself.

Partake—What sharees do when sharers are sharing something.

One-on-One relationship—As opposed to two-on-two relationships, three-on-three relationships, etc. (And who said basketball never contributed anything substantial to Christianity?)

Give Us Your Testimony—And be sure to leave in all the rotten, sordid details.

Share What’s on Your Heart—Unless, of course, it’s heartburn.

Heartwarming—One degree below hemtburn.

Grieved in My Heart—You tick me off.

Losing the Victory—As compared to winning the defeat.

Praise the Lord—A person’s true spirituality can be quickly ascertained by counting the number of times per day he or she uses this phrase. 400 + = Saint; 300–400 = Graduate of the School of Praise; 200–300 = Vibrant Christian; 50–200 = Lukewarm; Under 50 = Backslider.

Vibrant Christian—See Praise the Lord.

That’s Beautiful—May be substituted for Praise the Lord, provided the sharer is grinning in a mellow, nonjudgmental way at the sharee. Scores same as Praise the Lord.

When I Was in the World—O’boy. Now we get to the good part of the testimony

Love of the Lord—What you love someone with when the pastor tells you to turn to the stranger on your left and tell them, “I love you.”

PULPIT PLATITUDES

Heart and Life—The average pastor will use this term often during the average Sermon.

The World in Which We Live—As contrasted with the world in which television’s alien Mork lives.

The Lord Said to Me—I had a feeling. (Also a good phrase to beef up a poorly prepared sermon. If they won’t listen to you, maybe they’ll listen to God.)

Today’s World—Those of you living in tomorrow’s world may be excused.

Lift Up in Prayer to the Throne of Grace—You eight guys here in the front lift George up, and you four over there…

Lay Hold Of—What you do to the Throne of Grace while lifting someone up in prayer.

Deep Truths—Up till now I’ve just been dishing up shallow truths.

Burdened with the Cares of This World—Fed up.

Burning on My Heart—My doctor told me never to eat pizza before I preach.

Amen?—Preacher’s wake-’em-up phrase, usually followed by dull silence from congregation.

I Said ‘AMEN?’—Proper homiletical follow-up for above phrase. Executed while leaning over pulpit, hand cupped to ear.

Touch People’s Lives (and Hearts)—Then get out as soon as possible.

Outreach—What we have when we are trying to touch people’s lives (and hearts).

Extend the Right Hand of Fellowship—The world in which we live calls it “shaking hands.”

Dear Lord God and Precious Heavenly Father—Public prayers must be thus prefaced or they will be sent to the wrong address.

Declare His Word—Shout your doctrine

Plugged into the Spirit—How did the church ever manage to talk about spiritual power before the discovery of electricity?

At the Present Time—Or were you wanting to know about the future?

The Bottom Line—What do you mean the church is too finance-conscious?

EVANGELISTIC EPITHETS

Accept Jesus into Your Heart—Okay, if you won’t give him your heart, he’ll just have to come in and get it.

Open Heart—What you must have before Jesus can come in. Bring your own scalpel.

Get to Know God Personally—Just drop by anytime.

PROMOTIONAL PUFFERY

Internationally–Known Evangelist (Singer)—He preached (sang) in Tijuana once, and his mother lives in Toronto.

Vital Message of the Hour—We will be delivering 24 of these each day, 168 each week, 8,736 per year…

Multi-Media Production—Two-projector slide show.

Scriptural Keys for Living—Pat formulas to help you obtain success, abundance, and prosperity.

Dynamic—It is against the law to run any kind of church or evangelistic ad without using this term at least twice.

Exciting, Excited—Almost every ad for a Christian book, ministry, movie, magazine, church, evangelist, minister, teacher, or project must contain the phrase “It’s Exciting” or “I’m Excited.” That’s protection against a dull image.

Food, Fun, and Fellowship—It is believed the Apostle Paul invented this phrase, and it has been used in church bulletins ever since.

Time of Fellowship—A period of stiff socializing following a worship service.

The Public Is Invited—If they aren’t, why bother to print this announcement

Come Together—As opposed to coming apart

!—Main form of punctuation for dynamic, exciting Christian acts and books.

MOTIVATIONAL MIASMAS

Catch the Vision—Get with the program, Jack.

Trust That…—I hope to God you’ll be sensible enough to…

Join with Us in…—See Catch the Vision.

Build Your Faith—Assert yourself to the proper level of enthusiasm. (And all this time you thought God parceled out the faith.)

Let’s Believe Together for…—What you do after you’ve built your faith.

Dear Friend—Radio preacher talk for “People I’ve never seen or met, but who are potential donors.”

Opportunity to Have a Part—What a radio preacher is giving you when he asks for an offering.

As the Lord Leads—As your guilt becomes unbearable. (Usually precedes a “sacrificial” offering.)

We Encourage (Challenge) You to…—See Catch the Vision and As the Lord Leads.

Rise to the Challenge—Perhaps we could take care of this while we’re lifting things to the Throne of Grace. (See also Catch the Vision.)

Further the Ministry—Keep this thing afloat.

Love Offering—As opposed to a Hate Dffering. The proceeds are usually the same, but a love offering is used to Further the Ministry, while a hate offering Is used to say, “The further this ministry gets away from us, the better.”

Let Us Work Together to…—Why don’t you…

And so, dear friends, let us work together in our day-to-day lives to abolish the bromides which daily burden us. Not only these we have mentioned, but others, such as: “Total Commitment,” “Come Expecting a Miracle,” “Moving in a Powerful Way,” and “Growing in the Lord.” The concepts, dear friends, are dynamic and exciting, but in terms of the vital message of the hour, the hackneyed phrases we use will no longer touch people’s lives (and hearts) in the world in which we live. I trust you will lay hold of the deep truths which I have shared, a message that has been burning on my heart. As the Lord leads, let us rise to the challenge declared in his Word. Let’s build our faith and believe together that it can be done. Praise the Lord! I don’t know about you, but I’m excited about the dynamic opportunities of outreach in today’s world, and the bottom line is that we’ve got to start using some new platitudes. That’s art exciting challenge, amen? I said, ‘AMEN?’

LOL. Pure gold !

It always makes me chuckle when I hear someone declare the Lord has revealed something to them and then go on the make the most a ridiculously obvious statment. Like the time I was in a prayer meeting at school and one of the guys stands up and declares "The Lord has just really shown me that someone in this room struggles with sin". You serious? You didn't know this until just now?

Peace and blessings to you all

 

[Willtor]

Oh, you know what always gets me? Treating theology as abstract speculation. The quickest way to kill a position in most of the audience's views is to call it abstract. "That's so abstract."

 

[jusluvm]

Y'all are hilarious! How do you keep up with all these phrases and drop them here in a lump sum like this?

My pet peeves are using words like "grace" and "mercy" and "saved by grace through faith" (and other various christian-ese words and phrases) when trying to help a non-christian understand the simple truth of being loved so much by God that He wants us to live with Him forever and has provided a Way to accomplish that. I couldn't tell you how many times I've had young people at church ask for definitions of these words that they never hear anywhere but at church functions.

 

[dr.p]

Another one is when someone say's that, "The Lord helps those that help themselves."

I couldn't agree with this more. My father used to say that to me, and I never once saw that in the Bible... in fact, I always saw the Bible as all about God helping those who couldn't help themselves.

OP Response

That said, my biggest pet-peeve in jargon is anything that is used in vanity, especially if it's over-used in vanity.

I was watching Gregory Dickow on TBN this morning was annoyed by the congregation's use of the word "glory" as they chuckled in response to some of the pastor's wittier comments. Maybe I shouldn't be bothered by it... I'm not sure... but I was.

Question

Anybody know the reason why these things bother us so much? Are we just cranky? or is there some logical, rational, maybe spiritual reason that these contagious phrases annoy us?

I think my annoyance has something to do with sincerety and honesty. I have a lot of trouble believing that people are speaking from the heart if all they use are catch-phrases and buzz-words they learned in church.

 

[Melethiel]

I have an annoyance with catchphrases in general.

 

[ScottBot]

For me:

"the bible says....(insert your pet theology here)."