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Christian dating advice

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by Emoore80, Sep 11, 2019 at 5:05 PM.

  1. Emoore80

    Emoore80 New Member

    1
    +0
    Non-Denom
    Single
    I recently signed up for bumble on a whim and didn’t have any expectations. However within the first few days of only finding guys who ticked the “christian” box but talked about worldly things, finally a guy liked my profile who elaborated about his faith in his bio. I decided to match with him and sent him a message. We hit it off really well, talking about faith, what we are looking for, our goals (in life and marriage). It’s been a couple weeks since we started talking and he just decided to delete is profile and gave me his phone number to text him, after we agreed how hard it is to find anyone actually serious about their faith, especially on a secular dating app. Anyway, he’s seemed really interested in me, despite maybe being a little socially awkward and lacking conversational skills. I’m a little shy too so I’ve been understanding and putting a little more effort into getting to know each other.
    The problem is he lives almost 3 hours away from me. We haven’t talked about speaking to each other on the phone or FaceTiming sometime, let alone meeting in person. I also currently don’t have a car so I can’t exactly initiate our meeting in person.
    With all that in mind, I’m unsure of how to move forward. Should I suggest we talk on the phone since distance is an issue? Are their certain subjects we should talk about before we meet anyways (besides what we already have discussed)? Should I straight up ask him what is intentions of continuing to talk to me are (or is it too soon to ask? We’ve talked about 2 weeks now)?
    I’m really interested in this guy, he seems like a wonderful man of God, I just don’t know where to go from here.
     
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  2. David Cabrera

    David Cabrera Catechumen

    +3,215
    Ecuador
    Christian
    Single
    US-Republican
    Just find a way to meet him in person. At a mall or at restaurant.
     
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  3. Dave G.

    Dave G. Well-Known Member

    +2,847
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    Just be careful, we have a friend ( female) who has had a hard time with these services. All looks great with someone then next thing you know he is looking to invest money for her etc etc. Course that leads to bank accounts or debit card information and so on. Starts out great and well gee I'm out of the country a lot and so on. Don't get scammed !
     
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  4. redleghunter

    redleghunter Thank You Jesus! Supporter

    +28,625
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    Yes a busy public place. These days you never know who is going to throw you in their freezer.
     
  5. Sabertooth

    Sabertooth Repartee Animal: Quipping the Saints! Supporter

    +2,233
    United States
    Charismatic
    Married
    US-Others
    I would say ask him to meet you in a neutral place that you can get to in your own town. If everything else is perfect, but the chemistry isn't there,* he will always feel like a birth brother [think Luke & Leia] (or worse). That says nothing about his character, just how strongly you are actually attracted to each other.

    *It feels like ⚡electricity⚡. You can't get that from any of the media that you have used so far. (You can get "electricity," just not that kind...! ;))
     
    Last edited: Sep 11, 2019 at 8:33 PM
  6. Kris Jordan

    Kris Jordan Member

    137
    +152
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    Whether you agree to meet in person or not, just get to know him and let "time" be your best friend. In other words, don't try to rush it but let it flow and happen naturally. If the Lord is in this, you will know that in time as you get to know him and vice versa. That is something that can't be rushed. If the conversation doesn't flow, that would be a red flag to me because communication is a major relationship component. So enjoy the journey and don't push it.
     
  7. LaBèlla

    LaBèlla ❣️ His little lady ❣️ Supporter

    +3,906
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Celibate
    In my opinion, what separates Christian connections from secular ones is God’s presence. I think that should be central to your communication. You aren’t looking to date. Your end goal is a spouse and that’s a different form of relating in my opinion.

    I would be less concerned about his conversational skills or meeting at this juncture. But I’d be wholly interested in his godliness and if his presence moves me closer to the Lord or not.

    For me, the person who shares their challenges and listens to mine, offers to pray for and with me is very attractive. I’m not looking at the man. I’m focusing on the Christian.

    Who is he in Christ? What does that mean in his daily life? That’s what separates a spouse from a boyfriend. I wouldn’t worry about the calls or meetings at this time. I would let things proceed organically to have a clear picture of his character.
     
  8. Sketcher

    Sketcher Born Imperishable

    +5,053
    Non-Denom
    Single
    US-Republican
    What you need is Long Distance Relationship advice.

    He gave you his number to text him, so he'd probably like to get a text from you.

    If you want to continue this and he lives 3 hours away, meet him in public, you pick the public place, and have an escape plan if he turns out to be a psycho. It should be a place where the two of you can talk. It should be a place that you would like to be asked to yourself for a casual date, that is sufficiently broad so that there's a good chance he would like it too. It should also be walking distance (since you can't drive) from another public place that can serve as a backup for the date in case something doesn't work out with the first place you have picked. Be prepared to pay your half if necessary.
     
  9. joshua 1 9

    joshua 1 9 Well-Known Member Supporter

    +2,816
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    That is why I am married today. My wife lived around 8,000 miles away and we communicated for three years. Somehow she got me to go there to see her in person. No matter what I did, I could not get her to come here to see me. She said just relax, enjoy the journey and don't get stressed about it. None of the other girls I wrote to were able to talk me into taking the journey to go see them. They tried but it was my wife that talked me into buying that ticket and getting on that airplane. Even she set up a friend of hers with a friend of mine so I did not have to make the trip alone but had a friend there on the plane with me. Although we did not buy our tickets at the same time so he was sitting about 5 rows from me on the plane. Then when I got there her whole church was excited for her and for us. The church was packed with people who believed in us and our marriage a lot more then I did.
     
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