Christian and Faithful but at the end

[RobbyLndn]

I was brought up in the Catholic church and I loved almost everything about it. I was so proud to be Catholic. Now I am simply a Christian with strong faith. I am at the end though. For most of my adult life I knew that I was walking with God. I felt safe in a way I cannot describe. I had a lovely family and work and was happy. Sometime around 2010 something happened and I began to feel scared and alone. This became anxiety and today I am a fraction of what I was. You see, in 2010 I was the victim a very violent attack which ultimately led to recalling memories of a very bad period in my adolescent years. Since this attack I have been on a vicious cycle of losing things I have worked for and my health getting worse and on and on. I couldn't believe that He would let this happen to me. I have never had more than enough but He always provided and I was grateful. Now I would be grateful if I could feel his presence when I pray but I don't even have that. I am scared every day of my life now. I have faith, I always have I believe but this is now ten years of feeling abandoned and I am at the end of my rope. One of my parents most frequent sayings was, "He will never give you more than you can carry" but He has. I am watching my life disintegrate in front of my eyes and I don't have anything left to fight with. I just want to feel safe again because I can't face another ten years like this or even a year. I wrack my brain trying to recall what I've done to cause this and I just don't know. It hurts so much to think He would let me suffer like this for so long. I am so very lost.

 

[Tigger45]

Welcome to CF and prayer for protection and healing

 

[Oldmantook]

I was brought up in the Catholic church and I loved almost everything about it. I was so proud to be Catholic. Now I am simply a Christian with strong faith. I am at the end though. For most of my adult life I knew that I was walking with God. I felt safe in a way I cannot describe. I had a lovely family and work and was happy. Sometime around 2010 something happened and I began to feel scared and alone. This became anxiety and today I am a fraction of what I was. You see, in 2010 I was the victim a very violent attack which ultimately led to recalling memories of a very bad period in my adolescent years. Since this attack I have been on a vicious cycle of losing things I have worked for and my health getting worse and on and on. I couldn't believe that He would let this happen to me. I have never had more than enough but He always provided and I was grateful. Now I would be grateful if I could feel his presence when I pray but I don't even have that. I am scared every day of my life now. I have faith, I always have I believe but this is now ten years of feeling abandoned and I am at the end of my rope. One of my parents most frequent sayings was, "He will never give you more than you can carry" but He has. I am watching my life disintegrate in front of my eyes and I don't have anything left to fight with. I just want to feel safe again because I can't face another ten years like this or even a year. I wrack my brain trying to recall what I've done to cause this and I just don't know. It hurts so much to think He would let me suffer like this for so long. I am so very lost.

You may be experiencing post traumatic stress as a result of being violently attacked. This can affect your whole life. I don't always suggest professional counseling but in your case have you looked into it? It can help immensely.

 

[Jeshu]

It sounds like you got P.T.S.D and suffer from trauma. You can be healed from this affliction but it is a hard road. Good counselling is what you need. There is Spanish based Dutchman online who counsels people with P.T.S.D on Skype and is very good. His Name is Roland Bal and He has four or five ebooks on the subject, excellent reading.

Healing Complex PTSD, PTSD, and Childhood Trauma

Please do understand that God hasn't forsaken you and that He still loves you to find Him also with this affliction. i have found Him to be the best support any one suffering from trauma can find.

Be of good courage

 

[Deade]

I was brought up in the Catholic church and I loved almost everything about it. I was so proud to be Catholic. Now I am simply a Christian with strong faith. I am at the end though. For most of my adult life I knew that I was walking with God. I felt safe in a way I cannot describe. I had a lovely family and work and was happy. Sometime around 2010 something happened and I began to feel scared and alone. This became anxiety and today I am a fraction of what I was. You see, in 2010 I was the victim a very violent attack which ultimately led to recalling memories of a very bad period in my adolescent years. Since this attack I have been on a vicious cycle of losing things I have worked for and my health getting worse and on and on. I couldn't believe that He would let this happen to me. I have never had more than enough but He always provided and I was grateful. Now I would be grateful if I could feel his presence when I pray but I don't even have that. I am scared every day of my life now. I have faith, I always have I believe but this is now ten years of feeling abandoned and I am at the end of my rope. One of my parents most frequent sayings was, "He will never give you more than you can carry" but He has. I am watching my life disintegrate in front of my eyes and I don't have anything left to fight with. I just want to feel safe again because I can't face another ten years like this or even a year. I wrack my brain trying to recall what I've done to cause this and I just don't know. It hurts so much to think He would let me suffer like this for so long. I am so very lost.

Hello Robby,
welcome to CF.

I hope you'll enjoy your stay here.
It is depression you are suffering from and a result of the PTSD event. Get some help with medication. God has not abandoned you. He is bring you to a higher level of faith.

 

[Daniel Marsh]

Welcome, depend of Jesus to pull you through. In the meantime, work on II Peter 1.

Philippians 4:11 King James Version (KJV)
11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.
Be Content with What You Have

 

[INC Kaycee]

I was brought up in the Catholic church and I loved almost everything about it. I was so proud to be Catholic. Now I am simply a Christian with strong faith. I am at the end though. For most of my adult life I knew that I was walking with God. I felt safe in a way I cannot describe. I had a lovely family and work and was happy. Sometime around 2010 something happened and I began to feel scared and alone. This became anxiety and today I am a fraction of what I was. You see, in 2010 I was the victim a very violent attack which ultimately led to recalling memories of a very bad period in my adolescent years. Since this attack I have been on a vicious cycle of losing things I have worked for and my health getting worse and on and on. I couldn't believe that He would let this happen to me. I have never had more than enough but He always provided and I was grateful. Now I would be grateful if I could feel his presence when I pray but I don't even have that. I am scared every day of my life now. I have faith, I always have I believe but this is now ten years of feeling abandoned and I am at the end of my rope. One of my parents most frequent sayings was, "He will never give you more than you can carry" but He has. I am watching my life disintegrate in front of my eyes and I don't have anything left to fight with. I just want to feel safe again because I can't face another ten years like this or even a year. I wrack my brain trying to recall what I've done to cause this and I just don't know. It hurts so much to think He would let me suffer like this for so long. I am so very lost.

Going Through Difficult Times Led Me to God
Tough times often reveal some of our biggest lessons. Tim was content with his life. Like many, he grew up in a loving family, had a happy life, and was right on track working to reach his personal goals. However, his spiritual life was lacking. Little did he know that a trial so difficult would bring him to pray to a God he never knew.

Going Through Difficult Times Led Me to God

 

[Michie]

Welcome!
Christian Advice