Citanul

Well, when exactly do you mean?
May 31, 2006
3,420
2,618
45
Cape Town, South Africa
✟206,608.00
Country
South Africa
Faith
Methodist
Marital Status
Single
I go back and forth on whether I do want children or not. When I hear people talking about their kids and I pick up what that relationship means to them then I do wonder whether I'd be missing out if I never had any.

But on the other hand, children are a huge commitment as you've now got the responsibility of taking care of and nurturing an entirely new life, and when I hear/read about the challenges that children are faced with these days, it makes me wonder whether I'd be able to do a good enough job raising any. But I suppose having those concerns isn't necessarily a bad thing as it would hopefully mean that I'd do whatever possible to alleviate those concerns and it's certainly better than thinking that parenting is going to be a piece of cake.

Having said all that, I haven't been in a relationship long enough for children to start to come under consideration, so it could very well be that my feelings would change if I do ever end up in a long-term relationship.

Although age might not be on my side. I know that for men that's not so much of a concern, but I'm in my late 30s now, so if I were to end up with someone my own age (or older) then children probably wouldn't happen, so the chances of having children could depend on just how big an age gap I would be comfortable with.
 
  • Informative
Reactions: Boring
Upvote 0
Feb 13, 2015
166
115
37
Pennsylvania
✟45,144.00
Country
United States
Faith
Methodist
Marital Status
Single
I love kids. I have two nieces and I enjoy spending time with them. But I agree with what @Citanul said. Kids are a huge commitment.
I have made the decision that I do not want kids. I am worried though about finding someone that has made that same decision.
 
Upvote 0

SnowyMacie

Well-Known Member
Apr 12, 2011
17,007
6,087
North Texas
✟118,149.00
Country
United States
Faith
Anglican
Marital Status
In Relationship
For most of my life, I've been very much on the fence about having children, gong back and forth between wanting and not wanting children. However, since the birth of my nephew I have leaned more towards not having children. I love my nephew and kind of enjoy spending time with him, but to be honest it still just doesn't feel right, I don't really know how to describe it other that I can tell it's different than how other people respond and interact with babies. As someone who has never liked babies and actively tries to avoid them, I was always told "It'll be different when it's family", and I've found that that really is not the case with my nephew. It's not just with babies, but for the most part I do not really enjoy being around young children. It's really not until school age that I begin to like and find joy in being around children.

I have pretty much decided that if I do have children, I will adopt. I was born with a cleft lip and palate, and while I always knew in the back of my mind, it never really actually occurred to me the risk of passing that on to my future children until my sister had to get a special ultrasound to detect it. Even though I think it's made me a stronger person in some aspects, I would never wish dealing that upon my children.

I have made the decision that I do not want kids. I am worried though about finding someone that has made that same decision.

I have similar fears as well, but I think with men you'll probably have an easier time finding one than me finding a woman. You're only the second woman I've ever heard say they do not want kids.
 
Upvote 0
Feb 13, 2015
166
115
37
Pennsylvania
✟45,144.00
Country
United States
Faith
Methodist
Marital Status
Single
For most of my life, I've been very much on the fence about having children, gong back and forth between wanting and not wanting children. However, since the birth of my nephew I have leaned more towards not having children.
I was on the fence about having kids before my nieces were born. When they were born I helped with them a lot and babysat and still do. I love them but the experience with babysitting and helping with them has made me realize that being a parent is not something that is for me.
 
Upvote 0

High Fidelity

Well-Known Member
Supporter
Feb 9, 2014
24,258
10,276
✟896,801.00
Country
United Kingdom
Faith
Baptist
Marital Status
Private
I'm almost certainly not going to have children. I'm 29 in less than 6 months and I don't have any real foundations or an established career, so as much as I'd have loved a son to take camping, teach outdoor skills and how to fish and all that good stuff, it isn't going to happen.

I have a 3-year-old nephew though and I plan to do all of those things with him, so I am more than happy with the idea of that weighed against the reality of my own situation :)
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

Gnarwhal

☩ Broman Catholic ☩
Oct 31, 2008
20,373
12,069
36
N/A
✟423,573.00
Country
United States
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Libertarian
Yep, it's imperative to be open to life. Ergo I'm going to have a crap load of kids.

I'm almost certainly not going to have children. I'm 29 in less than 6 months and I don't have any real foundations or an established career, so as much as I'd have loved a son to take camping, teach outdoor skills and how to fish and all that good stuff, it isn't going to happen.

What does age have to do with it? Millions of guys become dads in their thirties.
 
Upvote 0

SnowyMacie

Well-Known Member
Apr 12, 2011
17,007
6,087
North Texas
✟118,149.00
Country
United States
Faith
Anglican
Marital Status
In Relationship
I was on the fence about having kids before my nieces were born. When they were born I helped with them a lot and babysat and still do. I love them but the experience with babysitting and helping with them has made me realize that being a parent is not something that is for me.

It's good to know I'm the only one who's felt this way after a nice/nephew has been born.
 
Upvote 0

Applekrate

Well-Known Member
Supporter
Apr 2, 2017
534
340
Arizona
✟127,410.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Republican
Yes, fertility is an important consideration in considering a wife. Most gals I meet already have gone much further in life than I have with past marriages and kids and they probably best to be with another man who also has past marriages and kids ( brady bunch as an example ). I'd prefer to make my own and with someone who has not been married prior to and with no kids. This really cuts down my options and those are not absolutes but, are indeed preferences. Yet another reason for preferring a younger gal.
 
Last edited:
  • Agree
Reactions: Darkhorse
Upvote 0

High Fidelity

Well-Known Member
Supporter
Feb 9, 2014
24,258
10,276
✟896,801.00
Country
United Kingdom
Faith
Baptist
Marital Status
Private
What does age have to do with it? Millions of guys become dads in their thirties.

Realistically I am not going to be ready or comfortable with a relationship for several years, and even longer than that before I'd feel comfortable enough(provided I was in a stable enough position regarding career and financials) to consider children.

So I likely won't be finishing school until 33, at which time the next chapter of my life will be starting to unfold with moving abroad and settling in to a job, company and country... I just don't see it working.

I'm okay with that, though :)
 
Upvote 0

LadyOfMystery

Heart of Gold
Mar 25, 2007
38,436
8,272
36
North Carolina
✟278,993.00
Country
United States
Faith
Baptist
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Republican
This thread is for your discussion on kids. Do you want any in life? What are some of your favorite things about youngsters?

I would love to have kids. I would need to be married to someone who wanted kids as well. It would be a deal breaker for me if the person I was going to spend my life with didn't want kids. :sorry:

I'm capable of having kids but there is a really large chance that my first child will pass away either in the womb or shortly after. This doesn't deter me from having one though, because on both sides of my family this has happened and the next child was born fine. It's just something I'll have to chance.

I feel that.. craving of having a child to pass on my heritage to, my family traits, I want to see what kind of personality they'd have and who they become. I want to teach them things my parents taught me.

Also I already have names picked out. :satisfied:
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

Multifavs

Daughter of God
Supporter
May 28, 2017
4,397
9,472
27
USA
✟146,124.00
Country
United States
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Celibate
I've never really been interested in having kids, because I'm not exactly fond of spending a lot of time around babies and young children. I think this is because they make a lot of noise sometimes, which bothers me since I have sensitive hearing.
I don't think I'm very good at taking care of children either (have no experience since I'm the youngest sibling), and I don't know if I could handle having and raising them as well.
This is one reason why I've never had any interest in getting married or even dating. I expect to stay single my whole life unless I find just the right man who also doesn't want kids (unlikely). Though I do think it might be nice not to be lonely and to have someone to pass on things I've learned to.
 
Upvote 0