Chester Bennington, Suicide, Parent issues

[Heartofsilver]

Hello everyone,

The suicide of Chester Bennington has hit me hard. It was very shocking to hear the news last week, I have been crying for his family, friends, band mates, loved ones, and fans around the world. I have been Praying for all of them. God had me Praying for the whole band's Salvation, shortly before Chester took his own life. I went to their concert a few years ago, though I had told God I wouldn't go to another secular rock concert again I did go to see Linkin Park live. They were one of the first bands to inspire to love rock and roll. I remember that Chester had said on stage that he was struggling with depression which I felt was sad at the time and I Prayed for him. Looking back now, I wish we could have helped him somehow, but we couldn't. Honestly, knowing this has sent me back to a feeling of helplessness.

Years ago, I had an online friend commit suicide in high school. I didn't know what to do. I was beside myself, devastated, in indescribable pain, feeling completely helpless, a void built up inside of me that didn't leave me for years. I didn't tell my parents at first, because I didn't know how they would react. My mom later saw that I wasn't acting right and asked me in a mean tone "what is the matter with you, what is going on?" I finally told her. About a year later, we discovered that this was all an elaborate prank done by a family friend and a friend of hers. They basically made up a character together and had him "commit suicide". I have never been the same again. These feelings, thoughts, and memories have all resurfaced since Chester's passing.

My mom who possibly has BPD decided to talk about his wife's letter tonight and I told her three times to stop talking about it, which she kept going. It came out, I started talking about a video that I saw of Chester and his kids the other night. I told them that I just wanted to ask Chester why, which then I started to go into an angry panic. My dad freaked out and told the both of us to calm down. My mom started being mean to me due to my short outburst which I felt she caused, because I told her to stop on this subject multiple times, which she wouldn't, so after I started panicking, it seems she felt the need to be mean to me. I reminded her of the "suicide" that happened years ago. The night goes on and I try explaining to her how my angry panic happened. She cut me off and wouldn't listen. I tried a second time telling her that I told her to stop talking about it and reminded her how this is a sensitive time for me with his death, these memories, these feelings rushing back. She tried telling me that God can use dealing with family with other situations in life. I told her that God doesn't condone bad character. She acted frustrated and later repeated to me that God can use dealing with family to deal with the outside world. It seemed like she may have been using this to justify her actions. She then proceeded to say that I should have been taken to a therapist back then, but she couldn't do that, because she didn't want to get put in jail for things that I might say. She also talked about how nobody really commited suicide, but even still I went through the grieving process of it all, since we found out the truth a year later. Every time she says it didn't really happen kills me, because all of the grieving was real to me. These were another hard blow to me. My mom has abused me my whole life and what she was really talking about was she didn't want me telling a therapist that she has been abusing me while I was underage. Soon after I had started college and my mom had just got done psychologically and verbally abusing me in the car. I told her that I'm going to a therapist and that I'm going to tell her about you. She replied with " Hm well, I think it's OK now." I asked her why and she responded " well I guess it's OK now since you are over the age of eighteen."

 

[Yanni depp]

Thats unbelievable that someone would do that to you. Its emotional terrorism and left a lot of wounds. Im very sorry to hear about that. Yes, seek professional help. And I pray Christ will heal you and let you flourish in his love and guidance. ❤❤❤

 

[Aleksandros]

This is really sad. I hope you can come to terms with this finally - this is a hurtful thing.

I think that perhaps, you can put this pain you have, and the strong feelings you have towards this topic, to help others who have depression by praying for them.

I'll pray for you and hope that God shows you the best path, and perhaps helps you find a psychologist.

 

[toLiJC]

there have been good rock bands

the system of spiritual unrighteousness/lawlessness/wickedness has brought all evil things to this world, and demons or evil spirits/forces have burdened the souls of many people and caused them to be in all kinds of bad position and driven them to self-harm, suicide, irritability, aggression or murder, such was also the case of chester; i am also shocked when such things happen to young people like chester, including because this indicates spiritual unrighteousness/lawlessness/wickedness is in its peak - personally i have found a resolution to this problem through the faith in the biblical God and His Son, Jesus Christ

Blessings

 

[Heartofsilver]

there have been good rock bands

the system of spiritual unrighteousness/lawlessness/wickedness has brought all evil things to this world, and demons or evil spirits/forces have burdened the souls of many people and caused them to be in all kinds of bad position and driven them to self-harm, suicide, irritability, aggression or murder, such was also the case of chester; i am also shocked when such things happen to young people like chester, including because this indicates spiritual unrighteousness/lawlessness/wickedness is in its peak - personally i have found a resolution to this problem through the faith in the biblical God and His Son, Jesus Christ

Blessings

Yeah, this is true what you are saying on this with the spiritual world being involved. You can tell from his songs that these are things that have been going through his head. I thought that perhaps he was writing these songs as a form of therapy, of letting it out. As I found out more about him, I discovered that he was drinking alcohol for therapy, so that he can even get to a state where he could write songs. It's very heart breaking.It seems that what you are saying and what I was thinking of what is happening with the demonic is also being seen by others in the music industry.

hayley from Paramore
✔@yelyahwilliams
"artists are ppl compelled to bring beauty into a world that can be so dark. makes sense then that artists are always conscious of darkness..... & maybe at times made more vulnerable by it? i don't know. life can be relentless. heart hurts for Chester's family/band/friends/fans."

I see that she is noticing that maybe they really are effected by some dark forces that are out there, as they play the music that they do. Unfortunately, Linkin Park's music does come from a darker place, where they are not singing about hope. They do sing about the pain and anger, but they don't go further from there in reaching for hope in the end.

Chester wrote a song called "Heavy", which I had watched recently. It talked about all that he had been going through in his mind and what happens in his head, where it takes him. It looks like how my life had been this past year, so full of fear of failure, constantly beating myself up, feeling like everyone was out to get me. I had never been in this place this bad before. It's showing me that him and I are being attacked by evil spirits in the same way of how they are doing it. I finally had to let it all go to God, because it was all too heavy for me to carry. I couldn't hold onto it anymore and I needed to trust in Jesus, since He is the One Who is in control. I also watched a video of "Chesters cry for help" and I related to what he is saying, but again I had to give it all to God, He has the Strength to carry all of our burdens. Chester, unfortunately didn't seem to let go of this, things he had faced, and gone through. He numbed the pain of his childhood, his depression, his friend's suicide, and his carrying it all with him til he committed suicide. I wish that there was more hope, that he could have given it all to Jesus and let Him Guide him of letting go of the bottle, the drugs, and going to therapy. I do Pray and hope that he is in Heaven, I can not judge where people go when they pass away. I just really hope that he is there.

Heavy by Linkin Park ft. Kiiara

Chester's cry for help

Reasons for Chester's suicide

 

[toLiJC]

he looks like a good man and is a hero for surviving for 40 years in this world and all those tough conditions - i believe such a man deserves to be in Paradise

Blessings