Chastity - What is the limit?

[HRDJ]

Hello, I have a spiritual question about Chastity and my pastor didn't give me a clear answer (and it is bit embarrassing to ask in person).

(I am in mid-20's, so I am not a teenager with questions, but just new to Christianity and the different aspects of Christian life style).

1. My understanding of Chastity is not having sex until I get married. Does this include any foreplay that doesn't include actual coitus?

my pastor said any romantic act that makes me desire "something more" is bad and should refrain from it. As an example, he said if a kiss makes me want to want more, then I shouldn't kiss my lover. Is that like...make sense?

2. I see a lot of people who had sex before they became a Christian and said "I am too late for keeping my virginity, hahaha." These people don't sleep around or do one-night stand but they do sleep with their boyfriends/girlfriends. I thought the concept of chastity was little different from virginity - is it different or the same? If I lost my virginity, that means I don't need to keep my chastity as long as I am not cheating on my lover?

Which one is the Bible values? If I read the Bible literally, then the Bible only talks about virginity (how one shouldn't have sex before marriage), but not so much about chastity. IN the Bible, keeping virginity seemed to be the same concept as chastity. But isn't it little different in the current life style of many people or people who became Christian after their sinful life style?



This is a very sensitive and embarrassing issue, so it is hard to talk with other people...If you could share your opinions, it would be a great help for me to live my life in more Christian manner.

Thank you.

 

[RC1970]

Hello, I have a spiritual question about Chastity and my pastor didn't give me a clear answer (and it is bit embarrassing to ask in person).

(I am in mid-20's, so I am not a teenager with questions, but just new to Christianity and the different aspects of Christian life style).

1. My understanding of Chastity is not having sex until I get married. Does this include any foreplay that doesn't include actual coitus?

my pastor said any romantic act that makes me desire "something more" is bad and should refrain from it. As an example, he said if a kiss makes me want to want more, then I shouldn't kiss my lover. Is that like...make sense?

2. I see a lot of people who had sex before they became a Christian and said "I am too late for keeping my virginity, hahaha." These people don't sleep around or do one-night stand but they do sleep with their boyfriends/girlfriends. I thought the concept of chastity was little different from virginity - is it different or the same? If I lost my virginity, that means I don't need to keep my chastity as long as I am not cheating on my lover?

Which one is the Bible values? If I read the Bible literally, then the Bible only talks about virginity (how one shouldn't have sex before marriage), but not so much about chastity. IN the Bible, keeping virginity seemed to be the same concept as chastity. But isn't it little different in the current life style of many people or people who became Christian after their sinful life style?



This is a very sensitive and embarrassing issue, so it is hard to talk with other people...If you could share your opinions, it would be a great help for me to live my life in more Christian manner.

Thank you.

Read Ephesians Chapter 5 and then decide who you are going to be.

 

[Alicia Schout]

Hello, I have a spiritual question about Chastity and my pastor didn't give me a clear answer (and it is bit embarrassing to ask in person).

(I am in mid-20's, so I am not a teenager with questions, but just new to Christianity and the different aspects of Christian life style).

My advise to you is don't go too far making love that will arose your sexual feelings.
You can let your boyfriend know when he is going to far to stop.

1. My understanding of Chastity is not having sex until I get married. Does this include any foreplay that doesn't include actual coitus?

my pastor said any romantic act that makes me desire "something more" is bad and should refrain from it. As an example, he said if a kiss makes me want to want more, then I shouldn't kiss my lover. Is that like...make sense?

2. I see a lot of people who had sex before they became a Christian and said "I am too late for keeping my virginity, hahaha." These people don't sleep around or do one-night stand but they do sleep with their boyfriends/girlfriends. I thought the concept of chastity was little different from virginity - is it different or the same? If I lost my virginity, that means I don't need to keep my chastity as long as I am not cheating on my lover?

Which one is the Bible values? If I read the Bible literally, then the Bible only talks about virginity (how one shouldn't have sex before marriage), but not so much about chastity. IN the Bible, keeping virginity seemed to be the same concept as chastity. But isn't it little different in the current life style of many people or people who became Christian after their sinful life style?



This is a very sensitive and embarrassing issue, so it is hard to talk with other people...If you could share your opinions, it would be a great help for me to live my life in more Christian manner.

Thank you.

 

[JIMINZ]

Hello, I have a spiritual question about Chastity and my pastor didn't give me a clear answer (and it is bit embarrassing to ask in person).

(I am in mid-20's, so I am not a teenager with questions, but just new to Christianity and the different aspects of Christian life style).

1. My understanding of Chastity is not having sex until I get married. Does this include any foreplay that doesn't include actual coitus?

my pastor said any romantic act that makes me desire "something more" is bad and should refrain from it. As an example, he said if a kiss makes me want to want more, then I shouldn't kiss my lover. Is that like...make sense?

2. I see a lot of people who had sex before they became a Christian and said "I am too late for keeping my virginity, hahaha." These people don't sleep around or do one-night stand but they do sleep with their boyfriends/girlfriends. I thought the concept of chastity was little different from virginity - is it different or the same? If I lost my virginity, that means I don't need to keep my chastity as long as I am not cheating on my lover?

Which one is the Bible values? If I read the Bible literally, then the Bible only talks about virginity (how one shouldn't have sex before marriage), but not so much about chastity. IN the Bible, keeping virginity seemed to be the same concept as chastity. But isn't it little different in the current life style of many people or people who became Christian after their sinful life style?



This is a very sensitive and embarrassing issue, so it is hard to talk with other people...If you could share your opinions, it would be a great help for me to live my life in more Christian manner.

Thank you.

.
The easiest way to understand Chastity with regard to you and your situation is, to look at it as Virginity.

Here is the Definition from it's use in the Bible, the only word used in the Bible is, Chaste, not Chastity.

CHASTE:
G53
ἁγνός
hagnos
hag-nos'
properly clean, that is, (figuratively) innocent, modest, perfect: - chaste, clean, pure.

The following are the only places in the Bible where the word Chaste is used, if you read the verses before and after the word, you will get a feeling as to what is expected in being Chaste.


2Cor. 11:2
For I am jealous over you with godly jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ.

Titus 2:5
To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

1Pet. 3:2
While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.

Take note, the word apply's both to man and women, married and unmarried, it's a way of being, a way of presenting yourself, or the way others perceive you to be, the word could be summed up in.

1Thes. 5:22
Abstain from all appearance of evil.

My advice is, don't put yourself into a position today which you might regret tomorrow, the things we do one day, really don't catch up with us consciously until the next day.

What I believe your Pastor was saying is, there isn't anything wrong with a kiss, but take care, things have a way of escalating very quickly, and before you know it, you find yourself in a position you didn't expect.

A direct answer to you direct question.
Foreplay is called foreplay, because it leads to Sex, don't play around with your physical and emotional feelings and expect to control them, sooner or later you will not be able to resist the urge.
Your tempting yourself every time you engage in such behavior.

Just because someone says I Love You, doesn't mean they want to spend the rest of their life with you, if what you feel for a person is real it will hold until a commitment is made.