I found this in our December church bulletin. I am re-printing it here hoping you find it amusing. It is not meant to offend any denomination.
Q: How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Ten...One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Q: How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. God has predestined when the light will be on. Calvinists do not change light bulbs. They simply read the instructions and pray the light bulb will be the one that has been chosen to be changed.
Q: How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. But the light might go out if you don't mail your donation today.
Q: How many liberal Lutheran theologians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: At least 10, because they need to debate whether the light bulb exists. If they agree upon the bulb's existence, they might refrain from changing it to avoid alienating those who use other forms of light.
Q: How many independent fundamentalist Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one. Any more might result in too much cooperation.
Q: How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They prefer using candles.
Q: How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Ten...One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Q: How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. God has predestined when the light will be on. Calvinists do not change light bulbs. They simply read the instructions and pray the light bulb will be the one that has been chosen to be changed.
Q: How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. But the light might go out if you don't mail your donation today.
Q: How many liberal Lutheran theologians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: At least 10, because they need to debate whether the light bulb exists. If they agree upon the bulb's existence, they might refrain from changing it to avoid alienating those who use other forms of light.
Q: How many independent fundamentalist Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one. Any more might result in too much cooperation.
Q: How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They prefer using candles.
