Ok - I am new here and I am looking for some help with a problem that is tearing me up. First off let me say that I don't come from a Christian background and I did not have a stable or moral upbringing, so I realize that my perceptions and feelings may be skewed. That leaves me felling unsure of myself especially in relation to my husband who is ALWAYS sure of himself.
I have been married for 6 years. My husband has a teenage son who lives with us, I have an 11yr old son from previous relationship and we have a 4 year old son together. My husband can be rather harsh. He is very black and white and I feel he is hard on all the kids, but especially my son, his stepson. I feel he mostly sees him negatively. He doesn't have the soft spot for him that he has for the other 2. I know that's natural, but I feel as the adult he should be conscious of that and compensate for it. You know - fake it til you make it. He doesn't see it that way , but is quick to point out any perceived slights to his son (my stepson) by me. We definitely have issues.
So, to the issue at hand. My husband has never allowed my stepson to go to dances. For the most part stepson has been accepting of this. He did sneak and go to one when he was with his mom one weekend. He got in trouble.
My son is in middle school this year. He wants to go to the upcoming dance. I don't see the harm in it but I respect my husbands authority on this. However, my son's father is in the picture. He doesn't see the problem. In fact he wants him to go as he has fond memories of his middle school dances. My son will actually be at his dad's the night of the dance. He feels stuck in between wanting to go and not wanting to make my husband mad. I feel stuck in the middle of everything. There will be a storm coming if my husband finds out he went.
Any thoughts or advice on what I should do?
I have been married for 6 years. My husband has a teenage son who lives with us, I have an 11yr old son from previous relationship and we have a 4 year old son together. My husband can be rather harsh. He is very black and white and I feel he is hard on all the kids, but especially my son, his stepson. I feel he mostly sees him negatively. He doesn't have the soft spot for him that he has for the other 2. I know that's natural, but I feel as the adult he should be conscious of that and compensate for it. You know - fake it til you make it. He doesn't see it that way , but is quick to point out any perceived slights to his son (my stepson) by me. We definitely have issues.
So, to the issue at hand. My husband has never allowed my stepson to go to dances. For the most part stepson has been accepting of this. He did sneak and go to one when he was with his mom one weekend. He got in trouble.
My son is in middle school this year. He wants to go to the upcoming dance. I don't see the harm in it but I respect my husbands authority on this. However, my son's father is in the picture. He doesn't see the problem. In fact he wants him to go as he has fond memories of his middle school dances. My son will actually be at his dad's the night of the dance. He feels stuck in between wanting to go and not wanting to make my husband mad. I feel stuck in the middle of everything. There will be a storm coming if my husband finds out he went.
Any thoughts or advice on what I should do?