(Catholics Only) I Don't Think I'm Catholic Anymore....

[princess_ballet]

Hello to everyone. Some of you might remember me (it has been quite a long time since I've posted here).

So, I'm not sure I'm Catholic anymore. I suppose based on the things that have happened to me over the last couple years, I am quite certain of two thing: 1) I am fully and finally able to admit that I no longer believe in some fundamental pieces of doctrine, and 2) there is a wall between God and I right now and I'm not sure how to break it down.

I thought I would reach out to all of you regarding number 2, because I feel like that has to be resolved before I can figure out anything to do with the first part. I want so, so badly for my relationship and faith to be restored but I can't get past this hurdle. I don't understand why what happened to me happened and I feel like God completely abandoned me in it.

I'll spare you all the details. But, I had cancer (I believe I posted early on when I was first diagnosed). The non-surgical treatment didn't work. I tried and tried. I maxed out the amount of medicine I could take and it did absolutely nothing except wreck havoc on my body (I gained quite a bit of weight during the treatment and I'm still working on getting it all off). I ended up having surgery and, as a result, I can no longer have children.

Quite frankly, I just don't get it. I don't get why God never answered my prayers. Or the prayers of all the people that were praying for me. The treatment is 85% effective and I had to be in the 15% of people for whom it doesn't work. Why? I know that I'm a sinner just like everyone else, but I don't feel like I'm a terrible person or beyond God's help. I don't understand why he would allow this to happen to me.

I can't stand to hear people say things like "Trust God" "God has a plan" "God is on your side" "God has good things planned for you."

Honestly, I feel like He doesn't. I feel like He really doesn't give two licks about me or my life. That was literally the hardest thing I have ever gone through and I feel like He just left me. How can He really love me or care about me if he abandoned me during this? Why wouldn't He answer my prayers?

And, yes, I have prayed about it. I've been begging Him to show me something to help me understand. To answer all of these doubts in my mind. To restore that trust and help me through this.

I've gotten nothing.

I feel like I can't even begin to repair the relationship or figure out what the heck I believe or where I'm supposed to be if I can't move past this. I'm stuck.

So, I'm here. Because I don't know where else to look for help or who to ask about this.

 

[chevyontheriver]

Hello to everyone. Some of you might remember me (it has been quite a long time since I've posted here).

So, I'm not sure I'm Catholic anymore. I suppose based on the things that have happened to me over the last couple years, I am quite certain of two thing: 1) I am fully and finally able to admit that I no longer believe in some fundamental pieces of doctrine, and 2) there is a wall between God and I right now and I'm not sure how to break it down.

I thought I would reach out to all of you regarding number 2, because I feel like that has to be resolved before I can figure out anything to do with the first part. I want so, so badly for my relationship and faith to be restored but I can't get past this hurdle. I don't understand why what happened to me happened and I feel like God completely abandoned me in it.

I'll spare you all the details. But, I had cancer (I believe I posted early on when I was first diagnosed). The non-surgical treatment didn't work. I tried and tried. I maxed out the amount of medicine I could take and it did absolutely nothing except wreck havoc on my body (I gained quite a bit of weight during the treatment and I'm still working on getting it all off). I ended up having surgery and, as a result, I can no longer have children.

Quite frankly, I just don't get it. I don't get why God never answered my prayers. Or the prayers of all the people that were praying for me. The treatment is 85% effective and I had to be in the 15% of people for whom it doesn't work. Why? I know that I'm a sinner just like everyone else, but I don't feel like I'm a terrible person or beyond God's help. I don't understand why he would allow this to happen to me.

Honestly, I feel like He doesn't. I feel like He really doesn't give two licks about me or my life. That was literally the hardest thing I have ever gone through and I feel like He just left me. How can He really love me or care about me if he abandoned me during this? Why wouldn't He answer my prayers?

And, yes, I have prayed about it. I've been begging Him to show me something to help me understand. To answer all of these doubts in my mind. To restore that trust and help me through this.

I've gotten nothing.

I feel like I can't even begin to repair the relationship or figure out what the heck I believe or where I'm supposed to be if I can't move past this. I'm stuck.

So, I'm here. Because I don't know where else to look for help or who to ask about this.

My wife had cancer. Discovered it a bit over a year ago and she had surgery. Her surgeon thought he caught it all but it was discovered to be a very invasive sort on biopsy. So she had chemotherapy, which was a disaster she has not yet recovered from. It seems like it is all uphill. Somehow she keeps her faith. She offers it up. It makes some sense what you say though, because it is a huge trial and in our case the side effects linger on and on.

I think of the pain and the utter terror Jesus faced and in that we know we don't believe in a God who doesn't know all about trial. His trial ended in his death. Yes, it was brief, and not anything near a year long, but it was an anguish over the sins he took on as well as physical pain. I think if Jesus had not suffered, he would be unbelievable. That he suffered means that my suffering, my wife's suffering, is not alien to him. We might not be excused from it, but then Jesus asked to be excused from his and that was not granted. Suffering, for a Christian is normative, and God accompanies us. Suffering for every human is normative eventually, but nonsensical. Only suffering in the context of Christ makes any sense of it. And only because God bothered to suffer along side of us.

 

[timewerx]

I can't stand to hear people say things like "Trust God" "God has a plan" "God is on your side" "God has good things planned for you."

Same here.

If you read the Gospels carefully (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John), it actually says there to expect pain and suffering for following Christ.

A repentant King Solomon probably wrote Ecclesiastes. But Christians only care about Proverbs because it agrees with their worldliness and materialism.

The Christians religion doesn't preach the right stuff anymore. Most Christians don't really know God or Christ.

 

[chevyontheriver]

I feel like I can't even begin to repair the relationship or figure out what the heck I believe or where I'm supposed to be if I can't move past this. I'm stuck.

When I'm stuck, if I start thinking rationally again, I know I should go to confession. You could go and let out some of this to the priest. That is a fair thing to do. And nobody doesn't need to go to confession.

 

[Tomm]

Hello to everyone. Some of you might remember me (it has been quite a long time since I've posted here).

So, I'm not sure I'm Catholic anymore. I suppose based on the things that have happened to me over the last couple years, I am quite certain of two thing: 1) I am fully and finally able to admit that I no longer believe in some fundamental pieces of doctrine, and 2) there is a wall between God and I right now and I'm not sure how to break it down.

I thought I would reach out to all of you regarding number 2, because I feel like that has to be resolved before I can figure out anything to do with the first part. I want so, so badly for my relationship and faith to be restored but I can't get past this hurdle. I don't understand why what happened to me happened and I feel like God completely abandoned me in it.

I'll spare you all the details. But, I had cancer (I believe I posted early on when I was first diagnosed). The non-surgical treatment didn't work. I tried and tried. I maxed out the amount of medicine I could take and it did absolutely nothing except wreck havoc on my body (I gained quite a bit of weight during the treatment and I'm still working on getting it all off). I ended up having surgery and, as a result, I can no longer have children.

Quite frankly, I just don't get it. I don't get why God never answered my prayers. Or the prayers of all the people that were praying for me. The treatment is 85% effective and I had to be in the 15% of people for whom it doesn't work. Why? I know that I'm a sinner just like everyone else, but I don't feel like I'm a terrible person or beyond God's help. I don't understand why he would allow this to happen to me.

I can't stand to hear people say things like "Trust God" "God has a plan" "God is on your side" "God has good things planned for you."

Honestly, I feel like He doesn't. I feel like He really doesn't give two licks about me or my life. That was literally the hardest thing I have ever gone through and I feel like He just left me. How can He really love me or care about me if he abandoned me during this? Why wouldn't He answer my prayers?

And, yes, I have prayed about it. I've been begging Him to show me something to help me understand. To answer all of these doubts in my mind. To restore that trust and help me through this.

I've gotten nothing.

I feel like I can't even begin to repair the relationship or figure out what the heck I believe or where I'm supposed to be if I can't move past this. I'm stuck.

So, I'm here. Because I don't know where else to look for help or who to ask about this.

Hello princess_ballet, I can understand your situation.
When I was young, I used to have negative image of God, because I thought He (almost) never granted me what I desired. I felt that He only loves some people but not me. I was the unlucky one.

But now I only started to understand His love for me, I can say He has very great love for me. What a change! That's because I used to measure His love in terms of material things; on the other hand, now I learned to see from the spiritual perspective. When I see things from the spiritual perspective, I can really appreciate His love for me.

princess_ballet, I believe God has great love for you, you just need to understand and trust in Him. And pray for that trust and understanding.

 

[Kenny'sID]

I can't stand to hear people say things like "Trust God" "God has a plan" "God is on your side" "God has good things planned for you."

That get's old at times doesn't it.

I know that I'm a sinner just like everyone else, but I don't feel like I'm a terrible person or beyond God's help.

Now for the touchy question, how exactly do you mean that? I'm not accusing you of anything, but there are folks here that feel they can live in sin and still be in Gods good graces. Are you them or are you the sin/repent, and try to do better type as some of us are? Do you make serious effort to keep God's rules? And I don't mean be perfect, no one is, but with all the different beliefs going around, like it or not, I feel I should ask.

Oh, and I don't mean Catholic rules necessarily but just the basics.

I'm so sorry all this happened to you, It's a bad feeling to feel abandoned for no good reason.

 

[God bless Joshua]

Many people are not living in God, but when trouble comes they blame God.

Psalm 53:2 God looks down from heaven on all mankind to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God. 3 Every one of them has turned aside; together they have become corrupt; There is no one who does good, not even one.…

 

[anna ~ grace]

Hey, Ballet. I find that when suffering is nearly unbearable, platitudes hurt and annoy more than help.

What has helped me through several personal crises in the past few years, which left me nearly renouncing Christ and apostating, was the little, tiny, illogical, nagging thought in my head that said "Christ is worth it".

And He is. Like Chevy said, we follow a Man who is God who gave up everything for us, and that love of His helped me go on, no matter how irrational, stupid, unnecessary, cruel, or tough the suffering seemed. He did it. I can follow Him.

Sometimes the answer is "no". Sometimes things get worse. It doesn't mean God is deaf, hates us, or doesn't care. As Catholics, there is a mystery to suffering which finds its meaning in Christ, and can be offered back to Him with love. Not that it won't hurt, not that we won't have days of intense anger, sadness, pain, or exhaustion. We will.

Let Him carry you. Keep going. Christ is worth it, and so is Heaven. This life is so, so short.

Chevy mentioned confession, too, and though I've never been, I can't see how this wouldn't help.

 

[JesusLovesOurLady]

Hello to everyone. Some of you might remember me (it has been quite a long time since I've posted here).

So, I'm not sure I'm Catholic anymore. I suppose based on the things that have happened to me over the last couple years, I am quite certain of two thing: 1) I am fully and finally able to admit that I no longer believe in some fundamental pieces of doctrine, and 2) there is a wall between God and I right now and I'm not sure how to break it down.

I thought I would reach out to all of you regarding number 2, because I feel like that has to be resolved before I can figure out anything to do with the first part. I want so, so badly for my relationship and faith to be restored but I can't get past this hurdle. I don't understand why what happened to me happened and I feel like God completely abandoned me in it.

I'll spare you all the details. But, I had cancer (I believe I posted early on when I was first diagnosed). The non-surgical treatment didn't work. I tried and tried. I maxed out the amount of medicine I could take and it did absolutely nothing except wreck havoc on my body (I gained quite a bit of weight during the treatment and I'm still working on getting it all off). I ended up having surgery and, as a result, I can no longer have children.

Quite frankly, I just don't get it. I don't get why God never answered my prayers. Or the prayers of all the people that were praying for me. The treatment is 85% effective and I had to be in the 15% of people for whom it doesn't work. Why? I know that I'm a sinner just like everyone else, but I don't feel like I'm a terrible person or beyond God's help. I don't understand why he would allow this to happen to me.

I can't stand to hear people say things like "Trust God" "God has a plan" "God is on your side" "God has good things planned for you."

Honestly, I feel like He doesn't. I feel like He really doesn't give two licks about me or my life. That was literally the hardest thing I have ever gone through and I feel like He just left me. How can He really love me or care about me if he abandoned me during this? Why wouldn't He answer my prayers?

And, yes, I have prayed about it. I've been begging Him to show me something to help me understand. To answer all of these doubts in my mind. To restore that trust and help me through this.

I've gotten nothing.

I feel like I can't even begin to repair the relationship or figure out what the heck I believe or where I'm supposed to be if I can't move past this. I'm stuck.

So, I'm here. Because I don't know where else to look for help or who to ask about this.

+In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, Amen.+

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on princess_ballet, grant her all the graces which Your Holy Mother Mary, in her maternal love, desires her to have.

+In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, Amen.+

I’ve got to say, this is a tough question to answer. I like to think that if I were in situation similar to yours, I would stand firm in my faith in God, but chances are, at this stage in my life at least, I would be relying more on my own weak and flimsy stubbornness than God’s graces. It’s funny, it’s God’s graces more than anything else that convinces me that the Catholic Faith is the One True Faith, and yet it was only literally yesterday that I started really making an effort to open myself up to His graces.

My humble little suggestion for you is to try developing a devotion to Our Lady of Sorrows, and try meditating on her Seven Sorrows. Our Lady suffered horribly, and it was all in accord with God’s will and she knew it, yet she loved God anyways and remained firm in her faith. In particular I’d recommend you focus on the Third Sorrow, Christ’s disappearance at the Temple, Our Lady knew that she did nothing wrong, that she was totally innocent, and yet it was still God’s will that her Son disappear. She searched for three days, not knowing why God was doing this to her, and when she finally found Him, He gave the ambiguous response of ‘being about His Father’s business.’ Yet despite all that Our Lady still believed, she never doubted, she believed all the way from the Annunciation to the Garden Tomb, meditation upon that, meditate on her Seven Sorrows and ask her to give you that same strength, courage and faith.

One more little suggestion, in addition to talking to your priest in confession, as chevyontheriver suggested, try going to Eucharistic Adoration. I assume and hope that your local parish has Adoration, I recommend that you go there and speak silently with Jesus truly and physically present there, about your pain, about your doubts, and about your confusion, and see how He responds.

When I'm stuck, if I start thinking rationally again, I know I should go to confession. You could go and let out some of this to the priest. That is a fair thing to do. And nobody doesn't need to go to confession.

I now try listening very carefully to what the priest suggests during confession, I treat it as almost prophetic, it has helped me quite a bit with my struggles.

 

[princess_ballet]

Thank you everyone for the responses. They are helpful and I will definitely try some of the suggestions.

When I'm stuck, if I start thinking rationally again, I know I should go to confession. You could go and let out some of this to the priest. That is a fair thing to do. And nobody doesn't need to go to confession.

That's not really an option right now. For a number of reasons. Also, one of the things about how I don't necessarily know if I'm Catholic anymore.

Now for the touchy question, how exactly do you mean that? I'm not accusing you of anything, but there are folks here that feel they can live in sin and still be in Gods good graces. Are you them or are you the sin/repent, and try to do better type as some of us are? Do you make serious effort to keep God's rules? And I don't mean be perfect, no one is, but with all the different beliefs going around, like it or not, I feel I should ask.

Oh, and I don't mean Catholic rules necessarily but just the basics.

By that I simply meant that we're all sinners and I know that I'm one of them. We all fall short and, I suppose, what do any of us really deserve; right?

I do not, however, just "live in sin" and think that is perfectly acceptable.

Many people are not living in God, but when trouble comes they blame God.

Psalm 53:2 God looks down from heaven on all mankind to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God. 3 Every one of them has turned aside; together they have become corrupt; There is no one who does good, not even one.…

I fail to see how this was at all helpful...

 

[Kenny'sID]

I do not, however, just "live in sin" and think that is perfectly acceptable.

Good. I guess I was just saying, that is one of the first things I think about myself when prayer isn't answered, am I holding up to my end of the bargain? And that's not to say even living a nearly perfect life guarantees a good outcome to prayer, but it is scriptural that is helps a lot.

Personally, once I've decided in my heart, I've done reasonably well with my end, I just have to say, oh well, and don't even consider letting go of God. However, in your case, I can see it not being anywhere near that simple.

I do often wonder where he is, and what the heck is going on? And if the same thing happened to me as it did you, for all I know, I'd react the same, but I still have to urge you to never give up on God, no matter what. Easy for me to say? no, not really, I truly get it.

 

[Joy]

MOD HAT ON

​

This Thread​

From
OBOB General Politics
to
OBOB - Catholic

as This is a More Fitting Forum

for this subject​

MOD HAT OFF​

 

[Stabat Mater dolorosa]

Hello to everyone. Some of you might remember me (it has been quite a long time since I've posted here).

So, I'm not sure I'm Catholic anymore. I suppose based on the things that have happened to me over the last couple years, I am quite certain of two thing: 1) I am fully and finally able to admit that I no longer believe in some fundamental pieces of doctrine, and 2) there is a wall between God and I right now and I'm not sure how to break it down.

I thought I would reach out to all of you regarding number 2, because I feel like that has to be resolved before I can figure out anything to do with the first part. I want so, so badly for my relationship and faith to be restored but I can't get past this hurdle. I don't understand why what happened to me happened and I feel like God completely abandoned me in it.

I'll spare you all the details. But, I had cancer (I believe I posted early on when I was first diagnosed). The non-surgical treatment didn't work. I tried and tried. I maxed out the amount of medicine I could take and it did absolutely nothing except wreck havoc on my body (I gained quite a bit of weight during the treatment and I'm still working on getting it all off). I ended up having surgery and, as a result, I can no longer have children.

Quite frankly, I just don't get it. I don't get why God never answered my prayers. Or the prayers of all the people that were praying for me. The treatment is 85% effective and I had to be in the 15% of people for whom it doesn't work. Why? I know that I'm a sinner just like everyone else, but I don't feel like I'm a terrible person or beyond God's help. I don't understand why he would allow this to happen to me.

I can't stand to hear people say things like "Trust God" "God has a plan" "God is on your side" "God has good things planned for you."

Honestly, I feel like He doesn't. I feel like He really doesn't give two licks about me or my life. That was literally the hardest thing I have ever gone through and I feel like He just left me. How can He really love me or care about me if he abandoned me during this? Why wouldn't He answer my prayers?

And, yes, I have prayed about it. I've been begging Him to show me something to help me understand. To answer all of these doubts in my mind. To restore that trust and help me through this.

I've gotten nothing.

I feel like I can't even begin to repair the relationship or figure out what the heck I believe or where I'm supposed to be if I can't move past this. I'm stuck.

So, I'm here. Because I don't know where else to look for help or who to ask about this.

Good to see you in here again Princess Ive been thinking about you.
Its sad to hear how you feel, but keep Job in mind. There is no conection between ones life or piety and our earthly succsess. God listens to your prayers as he did to Jobs, but the answers youre recieving may not be what hoped for.

Why me and not she or he is a question many ill or unfortunate people have asked themselves throughout history, but its no particular reason for individuals destiny.

Christ suffers with us. Hes there with us in our hell on earth or whatever. Things may not be great, but Gods at your side.