Casual dating probably bad right?

[GaveMeJoy]

Hey,
Got divorced last year and am fully and totally broken in my heart from it still. My wife walked away from God and divorced me. God delivered me through it and I found joy in him and his word which was a really great season. However I was suppressing all of the pain so so so much.

I lost a ton of weight and have a job girls like and I met someone through work. She is really cool, and I’m really enjoying her friendship. However she isn’t a believer and we are both definitely attracted to eachother.

She is not a Christian. I’m never getting married again for the rest of my life, and I wouldn’t marry N unbeliever but it really feels good to have someone care about me and want to spend time with me. Just spending time with her made me realize how much pain from the loss of my marriage I am holding in and covering up with positivity and avoidance.

I want to do what’s right and honor God. But it seems so sad to have to like arbitrarily stop my friendship with this person. Or not be able to casually date her.

Our relationship is not physical. I believe I can keep that issue out but I know that’s probably the biggest reason why it’s dangerous to date anyone in general especially an unbeliever. I feel like it’s not fair to my friend to like keep spending a lot of time with her and develop this deeper friendship when I’m so messed up. BTS I told her all this stuff and she still wants to date it’s not like I’m being sneaky or anything. she also isn’t saved and ever since I was younger I have been taught by my parents and church not to date unbelievers. Even casually...because you can’t marry them so what’s the point? Well I don’t want to marry anyone and I like this person. She’s fun and makes me feel happy and cared for every time I’m with her.

I know I’m supposed to find healing and joy and support in Christ and not relationships. Especially not ones with other believers but not spending time with her would be really painful and depressing and I don’t want to.

Jesus is the most important thing in my life and that’s not so for this other person.

Please pray for me and help me.
In Him,
J

 

[GospelS]

I can’t say just how much more closer to God your pain would have brought you if you did not let a placebo to fill that loss.

 

[Heavenhome]

Hello Gavemejoy ,
Whilst I am no expert whatsoever, as I never married but I thought I would answer you as you have brought up something very important to you and any one else in this situation.

I understand that you realise that as a Christian it would be wrong to marry an unbeliever.
Now you say you will never marry again, this may or not be so, I think it is a precarious position you are in because, in all honesty Christian dating really should be with the plan for a future together.
The obvious "solution" to this would be if she were to come to faith, but at the moment this is not so.
I truly believe you must be honest with her and explain how you feel and what you believe.
Perhaps you could invite her to church, if she outright refuses, you would know it was useless to persist.

She may attend and be convicted which would be great, but you said you never want to get married, so what would that do for your situation? ( it would be good for her though)
Is it early days since your marriage breakup?

It may be far too soon to state you'll never get married again but either way, I don't think casual dating is right to do.

You could both end up very hurt and that's something neither of you need.

God bless you and help you to have peace in what you decide to do, above all, as you said Jesus is the most important thing in your life, so honour and obey Him above all.
My prayers for you also

 

[Aussie Pete]

Hey,
Got divorced last year and am fully and totally broken in my heart from it still. My wife walked away from God and divorced me. God delivered me through it and I found joy in him and his word which was a really great season. However I was suppressing all of the pain so so so much.

I lost a ton of weight and have a job girls like and I met someone through work. She is really cool, and I’m really enjoying her friendship. However she isn’t a believer and we are both definitely attracted to eachother.

She is not a Christian. I’m never getting married again for the rest of my life, and I wouldn’t marry N unbeliever but it really feels good to have someone care about me and want to spend time with me. Just spending time with her made me realize how much pain from the loss of my marriage I am holding in and covering up with positivity and avoidance.

I want to do what’s right and honor God. But it seems so sad to have to like arbitrarily stop my friendship with this person. Or not be able to casually date her.

Our relationship is not physical. I believe I can keep that issue out but I know that’s probably the biggest reason why it’s dangerous to date anyone in general especially an unbeliever. I feel like it’s not fair to my friend to like keep spending a lot of time with her and develop this deeper friendship when I’m so messed up. BTS I told her all this stuff and she still wants to date it’s not like I’m being sneaky or anything. she also isn’t saved and ever since I was younger I have been taught by my parents and church not to date unbelievers. Even casually...because you can’t marry them so what’s the point? Well I don’t want to marry anyone and I like this person. She’s fun and makes me feel happy and cared for every time I’m with her.

I know I’m supposed to find healing and joy and support in Christ and not relationships. Especially not ones with other believers but not spending time with her would be really painful and depressing and I don’t want to.

Jesus is the most important thing in my life and that’s not so for this other person.

Please pray for me and help me.
In Him,
J

If you can maintain your current attitude, and she is ok with it, why not keep the friendship? It won't be easy to keep it on a platonic level. You would need to be on your guard. The last thing you need is another disaster. Who knows, you might lead her to the Lord. Having said that, I'd pray and fast before making a decision.

 

[createdtoworship]

Hey,
Got divorced last year and am fully and totally broken in my heart from it still. My wife walked away from God and divorced me. God delivered me through it and I found joy in him and his word which was a really great season. However I was suppressing all of the pain so so so much.

I lost a ton of weight and have a job girls like and I met someone through work. She is really cool, and I’m really enjoying her friendship. However she isn’t a believer and we are both definitely attracted to eachother.

She is not a Christian. I’m never getting married again for the rest of my life, and I wouldn’t marry N unbeliever but it really feels good to have someone care about me and want to spend time with me. Just spending time with her made me realize how much pain from the loss of my marriage I am holding in and covering up with positivity and avoidance.

I want to do what’s right and honor God. But it seems so sad to have to like arbitrarily stop my friendship with this person. Or not be able to casually date her.

Our relationship is not physical. I believe I can keep that issue out but I know that’s probably the biggest reason why it’s dangerous to date anyone in general especially an unbeliever. I feel like it’s not fair to my friend to like keep spending a lot of time with her and develop this deeper friendship when I’m so messed up. BTS I told her all this stuff and she still wants to date it’s not like I’m being sneaky or anything. she also isn’t saved and ever since I was younger I have been taught by my parents and church not to date unbelievers. Even casually...because you can’t marry them so what’s the point? Well I don’t want to marry anyone and I like this person. She’s fun and makes me feel happy and cared for every time I’m with her.

I know I’m supposed to find healing and joy and support in Christ and not relationships. Especially not ones with other believers but not spending time with her would be really painful and depressing and I don’t want to.

Jesus is the most important thing in my life and that’s not so for this other person.

Please pray for me and help me.
In Him,
J

if you have no intention of marriage of her, it's unfair to lead her on. I know it's nice to be friends, but you at least need to tell you you have no intention of going further, that you never want to marry and do not desire to be "more than friends." Even though being nice to people is ok. It's unfair to play with peoples hearts, even if they are not christian. God says in his word not to be"unequally yoked" with unbelievers, and that involves not dating them or leading them on. 2 Corinthians 6:14. And I think you know all of this deep down. Now you just need to take the next step and rectify the situation.

 

[Mountainmanbob]

Hey,
Got divorced last year and am fully and totally broken in my heart from it still. My wife walked away from God and divorced me. God delivered me through it and I found joy in him and his word which was a really great season. However I was suppressing all of the pain so so so much.

I lost a ton of weight and have a job girls like and I met someone through work. She is really cool, and I’m really enjoying her friendship. However she isn’t a believer and we are both definitely attracted to eachother.

She is not a Christian. I’m never getting married again for the rest of my life, and I wouldn’t marry N unbeliever but it really feels good to have someone care about me and want to spend time with me. Just spending time with her made me realize how much pain from the loss of my marriage I am holding in and covering up with positivity and avoidance.

I want to do what’s right and honor God. But it seems so sad to have to like arbitrarily stop my friendship with this person. Or not be able to casually date her.

Our relationship is not physical. I believe I can keep that issue out but I know that’s probably the biggest reason why it’s dangerous to date anyone in general especially an unbeliever. I feel like it’s not fair to my friend to like keep spending a lot of time with her and develop this deeper friendship when I’m so messed up. BTS I told her all this stuff and she still wants to date it’s not like I’m being sneaky or anything. she also isn’t saved and ever since I was younger I have been taught by my parents and church not to date unbelievers. Even casually...because you can’t marry them so what’s the point? Well I don’t want to marry anyone and I like this person. She’s fun and makes me feel happy and cared for every time I’m with her.

I know I’m supposed to find healing and joy and support in Christ and not relationships. Especially not ones with other believers but not spending time with her would be really painful and depressing and I don’t want to.

Jesus is the most important thing in my life and that’s not so for this other person.

Please pray for me and help me.
In Him,
J

You have stated that you wish to never be married again?
I know how hard it is to live without sex.
Dating sure brings up some urges.
Dating nonbelievers adds extra strain.
I have been there and got the tshirt.
Not one that I'm proud to wear.

Best to start looking for a future Christian wife.
Otherwise you are probably sinning.
M-Bob

 

[Lost4words]

I am thinking it would be extremely difficult to remain just friends. You can certainly try. But be open from the start. Let her know where you stand. Maybe, you can convert her to Christianity!

God bless you friend

 

[Dave-W]

Best to start looking for a future Christian wife.
Otherwise you are probably sinning.
M-Bob

From his post I think he is of the "no remarriage" viewpoint.

 

[Mountainmanbob]

I sometimes wonder
what Adam though when he first saw Eve?
Probably a lot going on there.
Man oh man I really like that.

M-Bob

 

[createdtoworship]

From his post I think he is of the "no remarriage" viewpoint.

Yes, I caught that
guess it's a good place to be unless
hankie spankie starts happening.

I sometimes wonder
what Adam though when he first saw Eve?
Probably a lot going on there.
Man oh man I really like that.

M-Bob

I don't think in advice are that we are allowed to talk to each other, but we are supposed to address the OP directly. But I am not fully sure. Just a heads up.

 

[Lost4words]

I sometimes wonder
what Adam though when he first saw Eve?
Probably a lot going on there.
Man oh man I really like that.

M-Bob

He probably preferred blondes but made do!

 

[Knee V]

I know how divorce can make us feel jaded about marriage, but if you actively desire companionship, then my advice would be to avoid a romantic relationship with a non-believer and seek a believing wife instead.

 

[GaveMeJoy]

I know how divorce can make us feel jaded about marriage, but if you actively desire companionship, then my advice would be to avoid a romantic relationship with a non-believer and seek a believing wife instead.

Excellent advice