Can't barely deal anymore!

[jen_soccer13]

I am a wreck. I can't deal with this much longer. I keep having flashbacks and cutting when I dont' even know what I am doing. I am in such emotional pain and my heart in so much pain. I am alone soooo much and just feel the darkness around me. I dont' know what to do anymore other than to just give in.

 

[Bevlina]

Jen, your support and comfort is here. We are here to place our arms around you and hold you in our hearts and prayers.
You are not alone while you have us.
Many are going through similar to you. Hold on tight.

 

[goldenviolet]

Jen!!! for comming on Si support.... now we can all give you an understanding ear. i'm very proud of you.

for you

!!
i want you to keep in mind the other things we talked about... the support and counsel. we can all love you and be friends, but Christ and and the other things need to be right too......you are so beautiful and smart... God's child, and you deserve to succeed!!!

 

[goldenviolet]

aaaawwww...!!

 

[amazed_by_grace]

Jen I am praying for you tonight and I trust that God is with you and He loves you...

 

[Cerulean_Butterfly]

Hang in there, babe. You can do this. You really can... Lean on God. He's there... he loves you. Oh so very much.

[bible]Deuteronomy 31:8[/bible]
[bible]Isaiah 41:10[/bible]

-Jo.

 

[jen_soccer13]

Things are not getting better..only worse. Now everyone thinks I am anorexic. I dont' knwo waht I think other than that I am tired and need an escape..which is my cutting which ends up upsetting me again. I thinnk I have truly lost hope that anythingn is going to ever get better. Not feeling sorry for myself...just realizing the reality of it.

 

[BlackRain]

Things are not getting better..only worse. Now everyone thinks I am anorexic. I dont' knwo waht I think other than that I am tired and need an escape..which is my cutting which ends up upsetting me again. I thinnk I have truly lost hope that anythingn is going to ever get better. Not feeling sorry for myself...just realizing the reality of it.

things will get better!! i know right now hope and better days seem so far off that it's unreal to you. even if you can't feel God next to you, he's right there by your side. he says in his word that he will never leave us...take comfort in that tonight. this may sound weird, but when you want to escape get in your own little world and read God's word and pray. tell him what you're going thru. tell him everything!! every pain, every struggle, every feeling of anger and frustration. let it all out! he cares for you so deeply. his love for you reaches farther than the sky and it's deeper than any ocean. sometimes writing things out is of help. if you're not big on writing, type it. get on your email and type away. i do that often, it's just easier. talking about it helps a ton too, so i'm glad you decided to come here. it's always easier to type something out than say it face to face...totally get ya on that one i know it's so easy to get down after cutting, but girl, you need to jump over it. God knows we all mess up...he knows everything you do before you do it. he loves you no matter what! take heart in that FACT. don't get all upset, accept it, ask for forgiveness and try harder next time. its one day at a time. no one said getting thru this is easy...but God is here for you... and so i am. so, here's to tomorrow, right? another day and i pray it's so much better for you, girl!!

father, i pray you'd be with Jen. comfort her and let her know you're right there with her. encourage her and give her strength to resist temptation. lift her up and restore to her the joy of her salvation!! Lord, i ask that you would do something so amazing in Jen's life that only YOU can get the credit and praise for it. show her how special she is to you. love on her and i pray that you would give her an overwhelming sense of peace and hope right NOW. i ask all these things in Your name.
amen.

 

[goldenviolet]

commere... !
(we just got through saying good-night...)

 

[RSteel]

just hold on jen. it's not easy. i've lost 14 lbs in the last few months. i was skinny already. this puts me at risk. u are never alone and htere's always someone who is worse off. the important thing to do is to count your blessings. jesus lovesu

 

[Bevlina]

I'm sad to know you've lost so much weight RS, I really am. And, the following words you had to say just touched my heart.

 

[RSteel]

Thank you Bevlina. Everyday the Lord is healing me in His own way. Yes, it is saddening to know that I have lost this much weight when I was already skinny. The Lord has a way of preserving us and keeping us though. I know He will do the same for me. Again, thank you for your support! Bye4now!

 

[BlackRain]

The Lord has a way of preserving us and keeping us though.

that is sooo true!!

jen, know i'm praying for you!!

 

[jen_soccer13]

My life seems to be going around in circles right now. Not really sure what to do anymore. The more I get upset about my weight the more I hate myself and then the more I cut...it just keeps going around and around and around. Ahhh

 

[goldenviolet]

Jen sweetheart... it seems like you are stuck .... that is a lie we all hear from the depths of what is evil.
The TRUTH is God provides avenues for us to help ourselves, and He walks and carries us through them.
what things are you seeing are there for you? when i was fighting the things you are the hardest part was getting help. i knew what was there but i was afraid to take them. i actually thought about them, then allowed my thoughts to also talk me out of it. sometimes i even found comfort in the very things i was hating doing.... then i didn't understand that prayer could help me... that God was with me in it all. i actually did not see this until after i started to recover.... and all your difficult steps toward recovery are rewarded with all of the blessings of God's hands.
i love you Jen .... commere !!

 

[Username:]

I'm prayin for ya sis!

 

[Bevlina]

My life seems to be going around in circles right now. Not really sure what to do anymore. The more I get upset about my weight the more I hate myself and then the more I cut...it just keeps going around and around and around. Ahhh

You worry about your weight Honey? Weight is a strange thing, it goes on and it comes off.
You need tons of hugs!!

 

[WhoeverLovesGod01]

though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death i shall fear no evil for the lord is at my side...

 

[RSteel]

I came back to comment on this. Jen, hurting your body in such a...profound manner is so unhealthy for u. We all do things like eat things we shouldn't, don't always get enough sleep. But, this kind of hurt is not good. It's sounds as if you just don't know what else to do... I really hope you make it through this... Even something as simple as coloring would help. I know though sometimes you mind can be a haze, and even that doesn't help! I really hope your cutting has stopped and you've passed through this phase...because that's all this truely is...just a phase...

 

[abbygirlforever]

Father God, I lift up Jen to you as a suffering sister who needs Your help. Comfort her, Father, in her darkest hours. Shower her with Your love in such a way that she cannot help but see the light. Back all evil off her, drive away the darkness and replace it with Your presence. Send down the angels to surround her and protect her, Lord. Guide her through this valley so she can again stand on the mountaintop. Bless her richly in the spiritual realm, and let her know that she is never, ever alone. Show her, Lord, that she is beautiful to You. Catch her tears, Father. Teach her that she is her own reason to stop cutting; not for anybody or anything else, but because she herself is worth it. Give her the strenght to cling to You.

I ask this in Jesus Christ's name, to whom all knees shall bow and all tongues confess that He is Lord. Amen

Jen, if you or anybody else in this forum needs me to pray for you one-on-one, PM me. I have walked this path, and I do understand. By God's grace I am walking out the other side.