Is it okay to not forgive them in this case? I mean, they aren't exactly sorry about it, after all. If they were to apologize I would forgive this person immediately, but the fact that they don't even seek forgiveness when they are clearly in the wrong is bothersome. I know I am compelled to pray for them, but do I even feel like it right now? Nope!
>_< Gah. What do you think???????
I don't see anywhere in the teachings of Jesus who taught on forgiving others, that there are any conditions that allow a person not to have to forgive someone.
Jesus spoke very plainly when He said if you do not forgive, then you will not be forgiven.
Mat.6:14-15 "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive yours."
That is connected with the hope of getting a favorable answer to a request in prayer,
Mrk.11:24-25 "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And when you stand to pray, if you hold anything against another, forgive it, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your trespasses as well."
So, forgiving others no matter what, is very important.
I'm aware that one's feelings can be such that they don't want to forgive someone until that person apologizes, but then forgiveness is based on those that you have something against usually because they offended you. It's never based on if the person apologizes.
Forgiveness is an act of the will in obedience to Jesus' word to forgive. We are to forgive others as God in Christ has forgiven us (Eph.4:32).. while we were yet sinners, not yet having repented for our sins (Rom.5:8).
The apostle Paul states that God's forgiveness towards us is His demonstration of Love toward us.
And the apostle Peter said that Love covers the multitude of sin (1 Pet.4:8).
If ours, then for all as well. This proves out in what the apostle John wrote, that Jesus is the propitiation for our sins and for those of the whole world also (1 Jn.2:2).
This is in line with the two greatest commandments that Jesus spoke of, To love God and to love our neighbors as ourselves (Mat.22:37-40).
Peter had the conversation with Jesus concerning how many times Peter should forgive a person who transgresses against him, Peter offered that it be no more than seven times, but Jesus replied that it be seventy times seven times. Mathematically it adds up to four hundred and ninety times, but spiritually Jesus is speaking of a multitude of times that might be never ending (Mat.18:21-22).
That could only be possible when using God's enduring, never ending Love in order to forgive another person who perpetually offends. Or to forgive again that same person for one offense that they ever did to you, but you recall it over and over.
God's great mercy is toward us when we again and again fall into the same temptation or yield to the same trial and fail it over and over. His great love is already prevailing toward us (Ps.117:2) even as we repent each time (1 Jn.1:8-10; 2:1).
We are not expected to forgive someone using our own sense of fairness, because it would be saying that forgiving unconditionally isn't fair. Even as God could have used only His justice concerning our sins, in which case there would not have been any redemption for any of us.
For the scripture says, "None is righteous, no not one." (Rom.3:9-10). But, thank God for His mercy.
We as Christians have been given into our hearts the mercy / lovingkindness of God (Rom.5:5), by which we are able to love those who offend us, by forgiving them before they ever apologize to us.
Then their possible actual apology gets a guaranteed forgiveness without any reservations whatsoever, and a statement from you that they had your forgiveness long ago, and they finally received it.
That would make an excellent opportunity to witness to them of God's love toward them. As it says in Jn.13:34-35 "A new commandment I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so also you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another."
And in Jn.17:20-21 "I am not asking on behalf of them alone, but also on behalf of those who will believe in Me through their message, that all of them may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I am in You. May they also be in Us, so that the world may believe that You sent Me."
And in 1 Cor.5:19-20 "All this is from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to Himself in Christ, not counting men’s trespasses against them. And He has committed to us the message of reconciliation. 20Therefore we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making His appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ: Be reconciled to God."
In 1 Cor.13 verses 4-8 from the amplified Bible describes the Love of God at work in every believer.. who allows it to be working in them.
"Love endures with patience
and serenity, love is kind
and thoughtful, and is not jealous
or envious; love does not brag and is not proud
or arrogant.
It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong
endured. It does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail].
Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening]. Love never fails [it never fades nor ends]."
We are to treat others as we would want others to treat us. Lk.6:31-32, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them."
If we forgive only those who apologize, then we are no different than sinners. No, there's no justification for withholding forgiveness because we don't feel like forgiving that person.
May the Lord God direct our hearts in the Love of God and steadfastness of Christ (2 Thes.3:5).
