There is a chance, ocd was telling me to do a compulsion and I did not want to do it. Due to frustration or due to being carefree, my system suggested to generate thoughts without my will that will be about a promise to an other God not to do the compulsion.
Maybe I could not control myself, and these thoughts without my will popped up and I maybe felt relieved and maybe seemed that I maybe acted as if they matter in order to trick ocd into leaving me alone for not doing the compulsion because I had an excuse.
The last days, these thoughts without my will are accompanied with scary thoughts without my will about punishments that I try to forget. sometimes, these scary thoughts without my will are like a feeling without my will and not just words without my will. I cant explain it better.
the problem is I cant remember if these thoughts without my will are 100% without my will because sometimes, I can predict they will pop up and instead, of ignoring them, I maybe act as if they maybe matter in order to trick ocd.
Sometimes, I am tired or frustrated or carefree and it is like I forget the worries that I may end up having later. because it is like I am forcing myself not to do the compulsion. I am getting relief from these thoughts without my will, even if I try to forget them because they are scary. the relief comes because they force me not to do the compulsion.
If, I accidentally, do the compulsion, I am freaking out and I am like " it is better to ignore the compulsion without having any of these thoughts without my will or feeling relieved"
I tried many times, not to feel relieved by these thoughts without my will, but I end up always failing. I reminded myself many time to just ignore these thoughts without my will that relieve me but I always fail.
I have prayed to an other God and I have asked Him many times to protect me from these thoughts without my will and that I may feel relieved but they are still without my will and not to accept any promises , even if I forget or if I am carefree or frustrated.
my ocd is about having these thoughts without my will and accidentally, making a promise to an other God without my will due to frustration or due to being carefree. I try not even think the word promise and I overpray. why I always end up confused and worried?
I knew that my thoughts without my will, will be accompanied with scary thoughts and I tried to forget them but due to frunstration they pop up.
Sometimes, I am able to control myself better and when they pop up, I pray to an other God to tell Him they are without my will. some other times, I maybe forget, and feel relieved because they force me not to do the compulsion. it may seem as if maybe my system, on purpose, generates thoughts without my will and I feel relieved.
it is not my fault that these thoughts without my will are accompanied with scary thoughts without my will. I tried to forget them. these scary thoughts without my will are about punishments from an other God.
I am worrying so much because there is a chance that this was the case about a compulsion I had with a video. I accidentally, saw some seconds of a video from youtube that were near a dialogue that ocd was telling me not to see. I did not see the dialogue but still I worry. but why was it telling me this? I cant remember.
what if ocd was telling me to watch the dialogue as a compulsion and I was so frustrated or carefree that I felt relieved from having thoughts without my will about "must not watch it"
I do not remember. ocd is like
ocd: maybe the compulsion was to watch the dialogue and you, on purpose, generated some thoughts without your will to force yourself not to watch the dialogue and maybe you felt relieved. now, you accidentally, watched some seconds near that dialogue. what if your thoughts without your will about a promise to an other God were valid? what if you meant them for a second? you do not remember anything. how can you be sure?
I know they are all thoughts without my will but why some other times, I am able to ignore them and pray to an other God that they are without my will and some other times, I feel relieved and maybe it seems as I maybe act as if they maybe matter? I always try to remind myself to always ignore them but I always fail. I know the worry I will have in the future and I always fail. I failed more than probably, I think, 8-9 times.
ocd: you should control yourself better. they are thoughts without your will but sometimes, you maybe allowing them on purpose to feel relieved. maybe you mean them just for a second.
I am confused and worried. are these thoughts without my will 100% without my will? what do you think?
Maybe I could not control myself, and these thoughts without my will popped up and I maybe felt relieved and maybe seemed that I maybe acted as if they matter in order to trick ocd into leaving me alone for not doing the compulsion because I had an excuse.
The last days, these thoughts without my will are accompanied with scary thoughts without my will about punishments that I try to forget. sometimes, these scary thoughts without my will are like a feeling without my will and not just words without my will. I cant explain it better.
the problem is I cant remember if these thoughts without my will are 100% without my will because sometimes, I can predict they will pop up and instead, of ignoring them, I maybe act as if they maybe matter in order to trick ocd.
Sometimes, I am tired or frustrated or carefree and it is like I forget the worries that I may end up having later. because it is like I am forcing myself not to do the compulsion. I am getting relief from these thoughts without my will, even if I try to forget them because they are scary. the relief comes because they force me not to do the compulsion.
If, I accidentally, do the compulsion, I am freaking out and I am like " it is better to ignore the compulsion without having any of these thoughts without my will or feeling relieved"
I tried many times, not to feel relieved by these thoughts without my will, but I end up always failing. I reminded myself many time to just ignore these thoughts without my will that relieve me but I always fail.
I have prayed to an other God and I have asked Him many times to protect me from these thoughts without my will and that I may feel relieved but they are still without my will and not to accept any promises , even if I forget or if I am carefree or frustrated.
my ocd is about having these thoughts without my will and accidentally, making a promise to an other God without my will due to frustration or due to being carefree. I try not even think the word promise and I overpray. why I always end up confused and worried?
I knew that my thoughts without my will, will be accompanied with scary thoughts and I tried to forget them but due to frunstration they pop up.
Sometimes, I am able to control myself better and when they pop up, I pray to an other God to tell Him they are without my will. some other times, I maybe forget, and feel relieved because they force me not to do the compulsion. it may seem as if maybe my system, on purpose, generates thoughts without my will and I feel relieved.
it is not my fault that these thoughts without my will are accompanied with scary thoughts without my will. I tried to forget them. these scary thoughts without my will are about punishments from an other God.
I am worrying so much because there is a chance that this was the case about a compulsion I had with a video. I accidentally, saw some seconds of a video from youtube that were near a dialogue that ocd was telling me not to see. I did not see the dialogue but still I worry. but why was it telling me this? I cant remember.
what if ocd was telling me to watch the dialogue as a compulsion and I was so frustrated or carefree that I felt relieved from having thoughts without my will about "must not watch it"
I do not remember. ocd is like
ocd: maybe the compulsion was to watch the dialogue and you, on purpose, generated some thoughts without your will to force yourself not to watch the dialogue and maybe you felt relieved. now, you accidentally, watched some seconds near that dialogue. what if your thoughts without your will about a promise to an other God were valid? what if you meant them for a second? you do not remember anything. how can you be sure?
I know they are all thoughts without my will but why some other times, I am able to ignore them and pray to an other God that they are without my will and some other times, I feel relieved and maybe it seems as I maybe act as if they maybe matter? I always try to remind myself to always ignore them but I always fail. I know the worry I will have in the future and I always fail. I failed more than probably, I think, 8-9 times.
ocd: you should control yourself better. they are thoughts without your will but sometimes, you maybe allowing them on purpose to feel relieved. maybe you mean them just for a second.
I am confused and worried. are these thoughts without my will 100% without my will? what do you think?
