Can you date a woman/man that isn't a Christian?

[zoidar]

What do you think about dating a non-Christian? Bad idea? Could it work?

 

[thecolorsblend]

No, you shouldn't.

 

[Isilwen]

I am doing so right now. She grew up Episcopalian, but after some really bad treatment of her child hood pastor, her and her family left the church and do not identify as Christian.

With that said, our relationship is the best relationship I have ever been in. It's built on respect and she encourages me to believe in God and Jesus, even if she doesn't. She doesn't hinder me or my children from learning more about God and Jesus. She emulates more of a Christ-like attitude than many Christians themselves.

I will say that's rare to find someone such as her, but I believe that finding her was God's doing.

 

[Charlie24]

What do you think about dating a non-Christian? Bad idea? Could it work?

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? 2 Cor. 6:14

It's a hard thing just to throw this scripture at you and say here it is.

I would search out my heart and why Paul said this.

I believe God through Paul is trying to save us much unseen sorrow and grief.

 

[Kris Jordan]

What do you think about dating a non-Christian? Bad idea? Could it work?

Hi Zoidar,

As born-again believers, God gives us very clear instructions on who we are to join ourselves with. Since the purpose of dating is to find a marriage partner, dating a non-believer is a bad idea. Marriage is hard enough on its own with two born again believers. Jesus is wanting to spare us from unnecessary hardship by commanding us to only marry fellow believers of the opposite sex.

Here are some verses for your reference:

• 1 Corinthians 6:14-16 -- Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God.

• 1 Corinthians 7:39-40 -- A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. But in my opinion she is happier if she remains as she is; and I think that I also have the Spirit of God.
  
  
  
  

 

[All4Christ]

What do you think about dating a non-Christian? Bad idea? Could it work?

Definitely a bad idea. Even dating a lukewarm Christian really was damaging to me. Your loyalties can be pulled two different ways, even if the other person respects your faith.

 

[Isilwen]

The problem that I found and what happened to me is that I was unequally yoked with my ex-wife and she is a Christian. So, it can happen with two Christians as well.

As I said in my initial reply, it is rare to find a girlfriend like my mine, but I do believe that it was God's doing.

 

[Reborn1977]

What do you think about dating a non-Christian? Bad idea? Could it work?

2nd Corinthians 6:14
Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?


We are called upon in the Word of God not to be unequally yoked in our relationships - this includes friendships, who we date, marriage, business, etc. For a Christian and non-Christian to attempt a personal relationship is futile as such a relationship can only be filled with various problem because if a person is truly living for Christ their worldview, character, and principles are so different from a non-believer that the relationship can never be an equal partnership between two people.

 

[ReesePiece23]

It's a bit of a grey area this - and I'm not saying it's the most watertight philosophy, because it definitely isn't, but from experience, I've noticed that women tend to mirror me when they're attracted. Maybe they'll start listening to The Beatles all the time, maybe they'll start becoming interested in abstract art, or perhaps they'll drink beer and spark up cigars...

So it's not beyond the realms of possibility then for a woman to grab a bible and to start praying. Whether that's how I personally want someone to find their faith is an entirely different matter (it isn't by the way, it's something we must find ourselves) but if you want to play the odds and go for it, well, there's a chance. Will her faith be genuine? Honestly, who knows?

My standpoint? Opposites DON'T attract. It's just like anything else, if you're a vegan and she eats like a caveman then it's probably not going to go the distance. Your faith will only ever grow stronger - the most intimate person in your life has to understand that, it's critical.

Explaining your faith to someone who isn't a Christian, is like explaining the colour red to someone who is colour-blind. It ain't going to happen.

All things considered, it's your call.

 

[A Realist]

What do you think about dating a non-Christian? Bad idea? Could it work?

Yes, it can work. It's worked for me for 37 years.

Of course, it doesn't help if you beat your date or spouse over the head with your bible or constantly try to "convert" the person.

 

[Lost4words]

I dont see why not. It may very well lead to that person being saved! God works in mysterious ways.

 

[bèlla]

I don’t believe in missionary dating and I think it’s difficult to build a relationship (or marriage) with someone who’s trust and regard for God are nonexistent.

He’ll never understand me. He may be loving and supportive. But he’ll never grasp the reason for my drive and joy. Or understand the reason for my hope. He won’t grasp why I know all will be well and profess possibilities where none exist to the naked eye.

Most importantly, my hands are tied. I can minister to him to some degree. But we can’t pursue bold feats for God in disharmony. We need to operate on the same frequency. And its absence can’t be set aside. I need more.

~Bella

 

[bèlla]

So it's not beyond the realms of possibility then for a woman to grab a bible and to start praying.

Lee Strobel addressed this in Surviving a Spiritual Mismatch. He said women are more likely to come to faith earlier in mismatched relationships than men.

From my experience, he’s correct. Women wait significantly longer for their partner to follow suit.

~Bella

 

[zoidar]

Hi Zoidar,

As born-again believers, God gives us very clear instructions on who we are to join ourselves with. Since the purpose of dating is to find a marriage partner, dating a non-believer is a bad idea. Marriage is hard enough on its own with two born again believers. Jesus is wanting to spare us from unnecessary hardship by commanding us to only marry fellow believers of the opposite sex.

Here are some verses for your reference:

• 1 Corinthians 6:14-16 -- Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God.

• 1 Corinthians 7:39-40 -- A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. But in my opinion she is happier if she remains as she is; and I think that I also have the Spirit of God.
  
  

One thing Paul also says is to not divorce an husband or wife if he/she is an unbeliever. I see it's not the optimal situation being married with a non-Christian. I know it wouldn't be the best for my faith, yet I'm such an emotional person, it's not easy...

 

[Isilwen]

But we can’t pursue bold feats for God in disharmony.

Maybe this is why it's working for me. I don't seek to pursue bold feats for God. I don't seek bold feats for anyone. I am a quiet Christian. I prefer keeping to myself, but will answer when asked why I am different in how I live, in how I do things, etc...

 

[ReesePiece23]

Lee Strobel addressed this in Surviving a Spiritual Mismatch. He said women are more likely to come to faith earlier in mismatched relationships than men.

From my experience, he’s correct. Women wait significantly longer for their partner to follow suit.

~Bella

Okay, so it does happen then. (I honestly have no idea, never seen it myself.)

With this in mind, it's probably an idea to remain open minded then OP. I wouldn't force it though, but at least see how things pan out.

 

[zoidar]

I appreciate all inputs in this thread! Thanks!

 

[bèlla]

Maybe this is why it's working for me. I don't seek to pursue bold feats for God. I don't seek bold feats for anyone. I am a quiet Christian. I prefer keeping to myself, but will answer when asked why I am different in how I live, in how I do things, etc...

We each must work out our salvation with fear and trembling. For me that means a purpose driven lifestyle where my gifts and talents are used to the full. For the next it’s something else.

I spent years ministering to a friend I’ve known over 13 years. Contemplating a relationship with him means God is secondary in this matter. And in this situation he is first.

That isn’t a truth I can live with. All the mental gymnastics in the world won’t divorce me from that fact. The purpose of my deliverance, healing and calling is to pursue the lost. Not join their ranks.

I must exhibit an authentic expression of my faith. We don’t need another iteration of lip speak or hypocrisy.

~Bella

 

[Isilwen]

For me that means a purpose driven lifestyle where my gifts and talents are used to the full. For the next it’s something else.

Thank you for saying so as this is truth!

 

[bèlla]

Okay, so it does happen then. (I honestly have no idea, never seen it myself.)

With this in mind, it's probably an idea to remain open minded then OP. I wouldn't force it though, but at least see how things pan out.

I’ve known people standing more than 20 years for their partner to come to faith. It’s rarely quick. Most believers who acted in disobedience regretted it later on. There are ministries devoted to people in that situation. I’ve worked with them in the past.

~Bella