how about this verse.
"The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance." -
2 Peter 3:9
So God's will was that no-one should perish but that all should come to repentance. But the fact that there are people who don't come to repentance and will indeed perish is a proof that people can make choices that are against God's will.
As a guest not officially claiming to represent Calvinism >
Yes, God's word says God does not desire that anyone will perish. So, ones claim this therefore has to mean God is not in control of the choices humans make. So, I think I get what you are claiming to be true.
But what if God's word does mean God is our potter? Romans 9:21. If God is our Potter who really is in control of what becomes of each of us, how do I understand 2 Peter 3:9? This scripture is an expression of the reality that God is not "willing" . . . meaning He is not pleased . . . though He does control what happens to people. He is not pleased with people perishing, indeed, but He has a purpose for creating vessels for dishonor (Romans 9:21). And if God has a purpose, this is in fact required, with a love benefit, even.
It is like to how you need to use good stainless steel to make a milk bucket, but also use the same stainless steel for making a sewage bucket. You are not willing, not pleased, to be using good stainless steel for a sewer bucket, but you need to keep sewage organized in vessels so it is not just anywhere and everywhere . . . including in your milk!
There are vessels for carrying the filth of
"the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience" (Ephesians 2:2) to where it is going. People are carrying unforgiveness, worry, hatred, lusts, pride, bitterness to where this is going for all eternity. This is a terrible job, but people are doing this . . . while they claim they have control, of all things. They are not controlling their horrible stuff, to get rid of it, to say the least.
Only with Jesus can we become vessels of honor, of His beautifully sweet and tender and kind and all-loving generously forgiving love with
"rest for your souls" (in Matthew 11:28-30). Speaking for myself, I did not choose this; I had no idea.
"But God be thanked that though you were slaves of sin, yet you obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine to which you were delivered." (Romans 6:17)
I was a slave, not free. And the glory is to God, not to me making some right choice. Thank You, God our Father
This is my take, independent of Calvinist training, going simply by prayer and the Bible. But it seems I have some amount of stuff in common with Calvinist ideas.