My ocd is giving me worries like
ocd: You were on your way to throw 2 garbage bags to the dustin bin but due to ocd you returned to your apartment to get some more garbage like used empty water bottles. there is a chance by the way after putting the bottles in the garbage bags that you put some other garbage like napkins from delivery stores
why the worries? because a year ago I was in a desperate and tired situation due to ocd. I was almost dizzy. my ocd was suggesting me to do a tiring ocd compulsion that I did not want to do. then ocd suggested stuff like
ocd: make a promise to God that you will not return to your house in order to get napkins in order to use them (ocd compulsion) and you should ask for punishment if you break it. validate you must your promise and you should do it by making the cross sign 3 times.
I was very specific and carefull when I was praying to God about this ocd promise without my will. ocd suggested it in order to be forced to avoid doing the ocd compulsion so that I can no longer worry about it. I did not want to do any promise but ocd kept giving me worries and I started telling to God some specific words that I do not want to say due to ocd. I changed my mind at the last moment and said to God something like "No promise. No punishment" and explained to Him that I was being controlled by ocd even though some words I was telling Him were somehow carefully said on purpose maybe.
Now ocd is telling me about the garbage stuff
pcd: You returned to your house to get some garbage. what if there were some napkins in that garbage?
there is no relation with that ocd promise without my will
ocd: you said not to return to your house to get napkins but you returned to your new apartment to get garbage that there is a chance having napkins
I live in a different apartment in a different area far away and when I was thinking about the napkin thing a year ago it was probably about that specific moment about that specific house I used to live and probably about some specific motive.
ocd: aha. do you remember what your words were exactly? what if that counted maybe for every house you live and for all days and for whatever motive? you maybe were not specific enough. you cant remember what your heart was meaning when thinking about it. maybe you were so worried that the ocd will keep bugging you about the napkin thing so you thought it was a good idea to make the promise count for every house you live. maybe you were so worried that day that you wanted to destroy the ocd compulsion by making a promise to God. you never made the promise. you canceled the promise before finishing the prayer but what If it was already accepted by God?
I have a question for you people. Do you see any broken promise in this story?
ocd: You were on your way to throw 2 garbage bags to the dustin bin but due to ocd you returned to your apartment to get some more garbage like used empty water bottles. there is a chance by the way after putting the bottles in the garbage bags that you put some other garbage like napkins from delivery stores
why the worries? because a year ago I was in a desperate and tired situation due to ocd. I was almost dizzy. my ocd was suggesting me to do a tiring ocd compulsion that I did not want to do. then ocd suggested stuff like
ocd: make a promise to God that you will not return to your house in order to get napkins in order to use them (ocd compulsion) and you should ask for punishment if you break it. validate you must your promise and you should do it by making the cross sign 3 times.
I was very specific and carefull when I was praying to God about this ocd promise without my will. ocd suggested it in order to be forced to avoid doing the ocd compulsion so that I can no longer worry about it. I did not want to do any promise but ocd kept giving me worries and I started telling to God some specific words that I do not want to say due to ocd. I changed my mind at the last moment and said to God something like "No promise. No punishment" and explained to Him that I was being controlled by ocd even though some words I was telling Him were somehow carefully said on purpose maybe.
Now ocd is telling me about the garbage stuff
pcd: You returned to your house to get some garbage. what if there were some napkins in that garbage?
there is no relation with that ocd promise without my will
ocd: you said not to return to your house to get napkins but you returned to your new apartment to get garbage that there is a chance having napkins
I live in a different apartment in a different area far away and when I was thinking about the napkin thing a year ago it was probably about that specific moment about that specific house I used to live and probably about some specific motive.
ocd: aha. do you remember what your words were exactly? what if that counted maybe for every house you live and for all days and for whatever motive? you maybe were not specific enough. you cant remember what your heart was meaning when thinking about it. maybe you were so worried that the ocd will keep bugging you about the napkin thing so you thought it was a good idea to make the promise count for every house you live. maybe you were so worried that day that you wanted to destroy the ocd compulsion by making a promise to God. you never made the promise. you canceled the promise before finishing the prayer but what If it was already accepted by God?
I have a question for you people. Do you see any broken promise in this story?
