Do I think confession should be between only ourselves and God. Well, God says he shall not give us more than we can handle. So perhaps, if it's all a person can handle, then give it to God alone. But if we can use our confessions as testimonies to/for the Lord or for our brethren, then why not?
Yes, I would say, there can be things that we want to handle in prayer only with God. And if we do this, this can be very good . . . meaning we trust God more than people . . . even though God is so more and better than we are, and He is our Judge > yet, we trust Him. This is so good! He does want us to trust Him about anything > even if it is a no-excuse thing, I would say >
"casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7)
Usually, humans who seem more than others can also seem out of reach; they might act like they are so superior and important, so that they can look down on us and despise us for having some fault or failing; yet, God is the One who is so truly more and better than anyone, and yet He is not at all conceited and despising us, but Jesus has compassion for us!!!
So, giving something to God alone can be very good, acknowledging Him as being so . . . humble . . . instead of being conceited and snotty and important against us.
Even so . . . if we get into confessing things to other people, this can mean we are becoming stronger against our sinful things, so we are not afraid of them and trying to hide them; if we allow sin troubles to shame and embarrass us so we hide them, this can isolate us; this is one of the basic things of how sin can keep itself successful over us > sin problems can isolate us from other people, so we do not find out how to relate and share with each other as family.
So, I think we need to have confession which is personal, sharing, even with family trust with one another, and praying with hope for each other to be
"healed" (James 5:16) of the character stuff which makes us able to sin, and
"healed" (James 5:16) into how God's love has us become and relate, instead.
So, confessing, I think, first needs to be in sharing with ones who are trustworthy. I think I have learned that it can be unwise to tell certain things to people who are not God's children or who are not mature and proven with us. But we need to be prayerful, then, about what we confess and to whom and when.
Even when we are sharing with a genuinely Christian people, we need to be prayerful about if we bring attention to our sin problems; there can be much better things to talk about and minister. I notice how the attention of the "Our Father" prayer does not start with "our sins"
So, even in prayer, possibly, we need to first start with our Heavenly Father and be in His love, first, with attention to Him and where He pleases to guide our attention.
I read James 5:16 and right away I decided I should tell any and all Christians all my sin problems. I understood this would show them I was ready for intimate sharing about all our secrets so we could have intimate friendship. But . . . no one joined me in being mutual in this!! I could not understand it. But then my correction came > I was trying to show off how mature and ready for love I was; but no one bought it . . . good for them
I have needed to grow so I can be wise in how to confess with people and how to share intimately.
And here is how it has worked much better and deeper, for me, I would say >
For a while, I told my church leaders things, and they encouraged me and prayed for me. But it did not get me into much more sharing with them and others. But I got better against my problems, and they encouraged me for being honest with them.
Then I got with my lady friend. And, lo and behold, I could break my rules about being mutual (Ephesians 5:21) and not trying to lord myself over her (1 Peter 5:3). I mean, once I became closely involved with her, there were things that could get the better of me and I would be even somewhat embarrassed, how I did not stay with a nice temper and being pleasantly patient like I had been boasting I would do if God gave me a close relationship. There were times when I could start to get nasty and bitter and controlling inside myself, when she did not go along with how I was boasting I could help her so much. But I could see pretty easily how I was starting to get bitter and nasty, and I know how God's word says for a husband to relate with his wife >
"Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them." (Colossians 3:19)
And already, I knew this could apply to any close relating with anyone > never to get bitter . . . never is there any excuse to become bitter; so, I knew I was in trouble. And so, I would stop right then, and pray and wait for God to correct me.
And I might, right then, say I apologize for arguing with you and trying and control you; I am wrong. And she would say things to appreciate me, saying she appreciates that I care about her and try to give her good advice. But I would insist I was getting the wrong way, and I needed to stay sweet and kind and humble and trusting God for if and how He sees fit to have her doing something that I was trying to influence her to do.
I was not obeying how God wants to rule us in His peace >
"And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful." (Colossians 3:15)
And one time I got into peace and sensed unity with her, and then we agreed on a much better way for us to handle something . . . better than how I had been trying to push her to do something.
In God's peace we have love's creativity with unity > I was quite awestruck and amazed at how pleasant and sweet and sharing it was to work something out with her in peace and unity > it was miraculous.
But a point I am making is my manner of confessing has developed so it is right in the middle of how I am relating with her . . . right when pride would have me keep pushing for something > instead, to stop and judge my own self, and never mind even if she is wrong, somehow.
And in case she really is wrong, but I am getting nasty > judge myself, right then, thank God if I do this which I would not have my honesty and self-control to do > and get His real deep correction, then encourage her about what is good, not push and criticize her. And encourage her to pray for me to get real correction of God.
