i am just living my best life as best i can. we all are.
tolerance to others and unity in doversity are very important.
Hello there! It's nice to meet you, and thanks for being raw, open and honest about your fears and doubts. It can be quite terrifying on a forum like this. The beliefs of each individual on here are so vastly different and also formulated from each ones culture - that it offers a very wide variety of views - but also confusion.
I like your name. Wrapped up in His love - that is how we should all be - and if we truly are, then we will love Him and his people. Because we love Him because he FIRST loved us.
Do you believe you are loved by God - or do you feel obligated to say you believe it?
Do you try to earn his love? What is it that leads you to hate God's people? (And are they truly God's people?) When I was in Europe my experience with most common, traditional churches was that nobody there truly believed Jesus had come in the Flesh or if they did believe that - They never took the actions required to be saved. Such as placing their trust for salvation in Christ! To proclaim him Lord and be baptized as a statement of faith and obedience. Therefore they did not act like Christ, did not speak or look like Him at all and I did not hear a message of Salvation until I turned 20 years old.
So those are just some questions I have for you to ponder.
If you are sure that you are saved - then perhaps the next question is that of Sanctification. Becoming like Jesus because nobody starts out looking or acting much like Him, do we?
But if you feel hatred - then let the Lord search you and lead you to repent. Find his truth in the bible - pray to receive the Power of the Holy Spirit (Pentecost was Sunday! That is what happened then for the first time! Exciting - most exciting holiday I think
) And then when you are filled with the Spirit the Fruit of the Spirit with attributes that are most desirable will start to show. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control.
Also you mentioned loosing your mind - But in Christ - he promises us "Perfect love casts out all fear" and "He gave us a Spirit of Love and of a Sound mind / Self-Control".
Let me know what your thoughts are and God bless and keep you please