Bullies: Where do you stand?

[sorednax]

Are you in favor of harsher punishments and zero tolerance?

or,

Do you favor building the self-esteem and self defense of the bullied?

 

[Ministrymama]

I recently read an article that stated that bullies do not bully due to low self esteem but instead due to contempt and a feeling of superiority over their victim.
Bullies do not need self esteem help but rather a lesson in humility and compassion.

Having been both a victim as well as a bully I would suggest that if the masses stand together and don't allow bully behavior there would be a lot less of it.

 

[FlameAlchemist]

Are you in favor of harsher punishments and zero tolerance?

or,

Do you favor building the self-esteem and self defense of the bullied?

As previously stated we do both, we teach them it's wrong and we try to help them overcome this problem, whether it be a superiority complex or low self esteem, family issues, etc. we have an obligation to help, even when bullies need it.

 

[hedrick]

I suspect that treatment of individual bullies involves assessing their situation. Self-esteem might sometimes be part of the issue, but I doubt that is always the case. Certainly we shouldn't ignore the problem. But zero tolerance policies can create serious injustices, so I don't support them. There's no replacement for finding competent people and letting them do their job.

 

[Received]

Further than the OP. I'm in favor of understanding the socioeconomic, familial, and other variables that influence a bully to become a bully. We can become harsher in our punishments, but we've got to try and change how bullies become bullies; and my guess is the higher the SES and/or negative family patterns, etc., the higher the incidence of bullying.

 

[Dusky Mouse]

why not both?
doesn't seem like an either or question to me.

But I'd say the #1 thing to do is enrich the consciousness of the masses in schools. Change their thinking about the social acceptance of bullying and then add the punishment stuff on top of it.

I agree that it doesn't seem to be an either or proposition. I also don't agree with zero tolerance policy. Namely because of what we read of such policies being in place with regard to guns in school.

Zero tolerance provides the stupid the opportunity to lose their mind and cause a child to suffer for it. Kids that point their finger in the shape of a gun and pretend to shoot being suspended. A child being expelled because he played an imaginary game in his head wherein he had a grenade in a box and was blowing up monsters.

Those examples are just but two in what often demonstrates itself as zero intellect when zero tolerance policy is in effect.

I do think that bullying should be punished severely, children that are prone to being victims of bullies should learn self defense for the sake of self preservation, and in the event of suicide due to bullying, those responsible for the harassment and depraved indifference that led to that awful out, should be arrested and prosecuted. As should their parent(s).
And a civil suit should make them penniless when found guilty in the criminal trial.

Now, very often it's the victim that is punished by the school if they fight back. While the bully goes on about their day.

That needs to stop! All it does is spur the bully forward because they realize not only do they get away with terrorizing a student, but the school collaborates to punish their victim on top of it all.

 

[SwordFall]

I recently read an article that stated that bullies do not bully due to low self esteem but instead due to contempt and a feeling of superiority over their victim.
Bullies do not need self esteem help but rather a lesson in humility and compassion.

Basically. I think the main reason for saying they have self-esteem issues was to belittle them, although some certainly saw it in specific bullies and thought it should be labeled to the bulk.

Bullies need to be bullied themselves, it is in my opinion that's the only real cure. The reason being is because bullies in and of themselves got that way from being incoherent to humility and fairness. Counseling them is like consoling a bear to drive a stick.

 

[football5680]

Bullying should not be tolerated but building the self-esteem of the one getting bullied is more important. There will always be bullies no matter what the rules on it are so it is more important to teach people how to handle it then to try and stop the bullies who will always exist no matter what.

 

[mubcl20]

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[ebia]

Are you in favor of harsher punishments and zero tolerance? or, Do you favor building the self-esteem and self defense of the bullied?

Building resilience matters. Dealing with the bullies matters, though harsher punishment and zero tolerance is not an effective policy for doing that.

 

[pshun2404]

I recently read an article that stated that bullies do not bully due to low self esteem but instead due to contempt and a feeling of superiority over their victim.
Bullies do not need self esteem help but rather a lesson in humility and compassion.

Having been both a victim as well as a bully I would suggest that if the masses stand together and don't allow bully behavior there would be a lot less of it.

Yes I agree...might makes right in a survival of the fittest world....who ever exercises the most physical force and control is boss in the animal kingdom Just ask Chuck Darwin and his boys.

 

[Dusky Mouse]

Well certainly we see what happens when weakness is perceived by those who bully.
Their victims commit suicide sometimes.
Somehow though it seems to fix itself when that victim beats the hairs off their bully. Then the bully realizes they're bested and perhaps won't want to tempt a repeat of history by messing with the target of their dysfunctional behavior in future.

Bullied Kid Body Slams Bully - YouTube


Of course this isn't always the case. Take for instance the punk in this video. Afterward he said he'd do it again.
Must like to limp. A lot. And often.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtCCS7LFaBA

 

[Received]

Well certainly we see what happens when weakness is perceived by those who bully.
Their victims commit suicide sometimes.
Somehow though it seems to fix itself when that victim beats the hairs off their bully. Then the bully realizes they're bested and perhaps won't want to tempt a repeat of history by messing with the target of their dysfunctional behavior in future.

Bullied Kid Body Slams Bully - YouTube


Of course this isn't always the case. Take for instance the punk in this video. Afterward he said he'd do it again.
Must like to limp. A lot. And often.
EXCLUSIVE: Interview with Richard Gale kid that got slammed by Casey Haynes HD QUALITY ! - YouTube

You're appealing to a standard of force. Who's to say that for every bully who gets beaten by surprise, there aren't a hundred bullies who retaliate causing more damage in the moment or overall?

Force isn't the answer, and this includes the force of self-defense as well as the "force" of teachers getting more strict. Yes, the latter does go some way, and I'm all for teachers actually standing up and doing their jobs (the fact that they often don't likely points to a deeper political sensitivity which prevents them), but until we get to the soil in which the garden of bullies is grown, we're not doing anything except controlling the symptom.

Think about the average bully. He's much more likely to have family problems and a lower socioeconomic status (not always, but in most cases). Those reflect deeper social problems that we've got to address. Take care of the soil and the flowers aren't simply ugly but become healthy and innocent.

 

[graciesings]

I think kids need to be taught that FEELINGS are not the most important, and that doing what is right is way more important than doing what raises your self-esteem and makes you FEEL good.

I believe that a lot of these problems stem from this emphasis on feelings. Bullies want to feel better than everyone else, and then other kids are upset because the bully hurt there feelings. Kids aren't taught to be kind to and considerate of anybody except themselves. If an emphasis was placed on kindness and considering others, there would probably be a few bullies but not nearly as many as we see today.

The problem is that this solution doesn't fit with the Liberal/Atheist worldview. Many of them have convinced themselves that there is no God, so the Bible's standards of right and wrong don't apply, so whatever you feel is right is right. This mentality of doing whatever feels right to you has invaded television, public school curriculums, and extracurricular activities. As a result, most modern kids invent their own standard of right and wrong. It is usually focused on self, not what helps others. Besides, this feels right to them!

And thus we have a generation of selfish little bullies and monsters on our hands.