We met online but stay 1 hours flight away. We've spent holidays together and around every 3 to 4th weekend. Im 31 and she is 21, so its a 10 year gap, but she's mature for her age.
Basically in the beginning we were so happy, everything was good, we'd call eachother regularly, see eachother when we could and it worked. The thing is i i w never completely attracted to her, only about 50 percent. But she has the most amazing heart which really attracted me. So i thought id give it a try. Things were really good for about 2 months, but i i quickly got over the attraction. She was very into me and us but I started having doubts....and over time i i became less happy with us. It was just the attraction, it was small other annoyances too. All in all she is an amazing person, she supported me with everything, was always good to me. But i i havent felt entirely happy with the relationship....even though I really love her alot and i i care for her so much. On Friday i broke up with her and she was devastated. Its the 2nd time we've broken up, but this time she really broke hard. I feel like such trash, like im the villain here. I never wanted to ever hurt her, id do anything to take her pain away.
Long story short, its salvageable. We can fix things and i can make it right. Ill just need to really prove to her I want her and wont do it again. She said she wants commitment...not entirely sure what she means but i told her im not ready for engagement or anything right now. She isnt isnt about it. I feel a sense of regret, I want to make her happy again and i do miss her. But i dont want to make false promises and get her back and then end up hurting her again...that will be worse.
Btw we broke up the first time because she kept me awake every night on the phone and id tell her im exhausted and have work the next day...but she'd nag. So I'd give in to make her happy but every day id be dead tired. Eventually i got so exhausted i told her i cant do it anymore. We broke up but got back together. She said i mustnt break up with her again or she'd never take me back.
Basically in the beginning we were so happy, everything was good, we'd call eachother regularly, see eachother when we could and it worked. The thing is i i w never completely attracted to her, only about 50 percent. But she has the most amazing heart which really attracted me. So i thought id give it a try. Things were really good for about 2 months, but i i quickly got over the attraction. She was very into me and us but I started having doubts....and over time i i became less happy with us. It was just the attraction, it was small other annoyances too. All in all she is an amazing person, she supported me with everything, was always good to me. But i i havent felt entirely happy with the relationship....even though I really love her alot and i i care for her so much. On Friday i broke up with her and she was devastated. Its the 2nd time we've broken up, but this time she really broke hard. I feel like such trash, like im the villain here. I never wanted to ever hurt her, id do anything to take her pain away.
Long story short, its salvageable. We can fix things and i can make it right. Ill just need to really prove to her I want her and wont do it again. She said she wants commitment...not entirely sure what she means but i told her im not ready for engagement or anything right now. She isnt isnt about it. I feel a sense of regret, I want to make her happy again and i do miss her. But i dont want to make false promises and get her back and then end up hurting her again...that will be worse.
Btw we broke up the first time because she kept me awake every night on the phone and id tell her im exhausted and have work the next day...but she'd nag. So I'd give in to make her happy but every day id be dead tired. Eventually i got so exhausted i told her i cant do it anymore. We broke up but got back together. She said i mustnt break up with her again or she'd never take me back.
