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Bringing God into your marriage

Discussion in 'For New Christians' started by LaShae, Jun 19, 2011.

  1. LaShae

    LaShae Servant of The Lord

    86
    +4
    Christian
    Married
    How do I get my spouse to be more serious about his faith? He supports me in mine, but when it comes time to go to church, he makes excuses or says "maybe next time." He is a wonderful man, but I know that we both need God in our life and our marriage. How do I get him excited about christ like life?
     
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  2. tturt

    tturt Senior Veteran Supporter

    +5,431
    Non-Denom
    Married
    The best advice I've seen is pray and leave the rest up to Yahweh and just continue in your walk. Be thankful that he is supportive. The Holy Spirit draws us - He can do more in 2 seconds than we can. [FONT=&quot]I would continue to read Scriptures such as Acts 16:31 KJV "And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house."[/FONT]
     
  3. heymikey80

    heymikey80 Quidquid Latine dictum sit, altum viditur

    +825
    Calvinist
    Married
    US-Republican
    Yes, pray.

    It can be patterning by his own role models. That can make it tough.

    It can also be that he's not getting anything out of where you're going. Maybe he needs his questions answered. Maybe he needs to discuss things practically with someone. Maybe he doesn't have a degree of credulousness for the people who are teaching. Or maybe he doesn't think much of it is real enough to heed.

    There's a lot that it could be. Some you may not even be able to figure out or tease out of him. It may take other people he can relate to. Or it could readily take God's mercy to make him more sensitive to the truth that's provided to him.
     
  4. LaShae

    LaShae Servant of The Lord

    86
    +4
    Christian
    Married
    Thank you so much for your advice, I think deep down, I know that I have to let God handle this. I guess it is one of those things that is hard to let go of when it is your partner in life and you are so excited about having God in your life. I want him to be able to feel what I'm feeling, ya know. My grandmother always told me not rush God, he does things in his own time not ours. Thank you again:)
     
  5. LaShae

    LaShae Servant of The Lord

    86
    +4
    Christian
    Married
    Thank you for your response. This has probably weighed on my mind more than anything lately. It seems to be that it is not something that I can control. I have decided I can only pray and let God's will take over. God Bless
     
  6. paul1149

    paul1149 that your faith might rest in the power of God Supporter

    +5,190
    United States
    Christian
    Private
    US-Others
    Hi LaShae,

    There's a passage tailor-made for this situation:

    Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external-the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear - but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. -1Pet 3:1-6

    There's a lot there to think about, concerning perfecting the character - humility, modesty, patience, gentleness, and all the fruit of the Spirit. A big tip: men love respect; they eat it up. You can work on these things, and see some results almost right away, while others will take longer to bring to fruition. But if you keep at it, you are going to change, and your husband is going to notice.

    While you're doing that, there may be slightly more direct things your can do. Maybe you can discuss with him something you learned in church, or something that happened there - not just to tell him about it or make him jealous, but perhaps to get his opinion or insight. This will draw him into Body life without him having stepped in the church door! Or just talk about something the Lord showed you that helped you. These kinds of things may pique his interest and get him thinking.

    Another possibility is to invite him to a home group or cell group dinner. Make sure it won't be a pressured affair, because one misguided person can leave him with a bad taste. It should be just a bunch of sincere people being real friends to each other and giving the Lord the place of honor. The friendly relational intimacy of a home group, without undue concern about doctrine or hierarchy or ritual, is the purest form of Christianity. It shows the church at its best, and may very well be the thing that convinces your husband that there is something there that he needs to investigate further.

    Blessings,
    p.
     
  7. heron

    heron Legend

    +893
    Christian
    In Relationship
    This really does work.

    There are things that you will do together, but also things where you both need space. Allow him to make his own friends and make his church experience what he wants it to be. Some men just enjoy bonding with each other, so give him some space.

    Allow His relationship with God to be different from yours. Living in close quarters can feel stifling no matter how much you love each other. It can also get a little competitive.

    Public appearance is stressful for some people -- they worry about others criticizing them, they worry about wearing the right thing and people watching them. Religion can have a lot of associations with judgment/critique.
     
  8. Bella Vita

    Bella Vita Sailor in the U.S.N

    +89
    Baptist
    Married
    US-Republican
    It is very important to have God in your lives separately as well as together. Can you get him to pray with you? I mean after awhile of you praying for him and praying together hopefully God will lay it on his heart that church is important. Also get involved in Bible study together it opens up dialogue on the subject... before my husband and I got married we did Driscoll's series The Peasant Princess it is all about marriage and God and goes through the book Song of Songs I suggest going though that series together.
    Mars Hill Church | The Peasant Princess | Let Him Kiss Me

    Good Luck =] If you have any questions about the series pm me ok
     
  9. seashale76

    seashale76 Orthodox Christian and Unapologetic Iconodule

    +3,991
    Eastern Orthodox
    Married
    Going to church is extremely important- but our home is a little church. Begin by praying together every day.
     
  10. LaShae

    LaShae Servant of The Lord

    86
    +4
    Christian
    Married
    Wow! Amazing response. thank you for the direction. I will consider this in the future, although I had to ask a co-worker what a cell group was because I was unfamiliar with this. I appreciate your thought into the matter. Have a wonderful blessed day.:)
     
  11. LaShae

    LaShae Servant of The Lord

    86
    +4
    Christian
    Married
    I appreciate your insight on this. My husband says that he talks to the Lord out on his boat. He says that is the best church he has attended. That is his alone time with God. I guess at this point at least I know he is talking to God. I should just pray for our marriage to go in the right direction with the Lord andf leave the rest up to god himself. Thank you again:)
     
  12. LULU730

    LULU730 Newbie

    2
    +0
    Christian
    Married
    US-Others
    I too am going through the same struggles with my spouse. I am learning that my husband sees the changes in me and my faith, he becomes curious and asks questions. I pray that the Lord will lead him down the same path that I am taking to find his faith, but for right now I find that answering his questions and praying for God to be a part of his life and our marriage is the first "baby step" in the right direction.
     
  13. LaShae

    LaShae Servant of The Lord

    86
    +4
    Christian
    Married
    I agree with the baby steps. I think @ this point I am going to be glad that he is talking to God. If his church is out on the water for now that is a start. He is a good man, and I know that he thinks about the things we dicuss. The Lord will take care of the rest. I trust in Jesus name.
     
  14. akaspooky

    akaspooky Newbie

    55
    +1
    Protestant
    Private

    Thing is, that God is the best teacher there is. When husbands fail to teach at home... or even support our faith... God is faithful. And God gives with both Hands when a wife is alone.
     
  15. LaShae

    LaShae Servant of The Lord

    86
    +4
    Christian
    Married
    Thank you very much for your response.:) That is uplifting way of looking at it.
     
  16. LaShae

    LaShae Servant of The Lord

    86
    +4
    Christian
    Married
    Just wanted to let all tha treplied to thiss thread that my husband has agreed to go to church with me this week. Things seem to be slowly changing on their own. I appreciate with all my heart, the advise that was given in response to this matter. I hope that we are a step closer in the right direction. May God be with us. god bless you all
     
  17. heron

    heron Legend

    +893
    Christian
    In Relationship
    That's great, you must be happy.
    I've heard a lot of church folk laugh at that sort of statement, as though it weren't really true... but just like a person can feel alone in a crowd, there are times when they can feel apart from God in a church.

    Jesus went out into the wilderness to pray. He tried to get across the lake to get away from the crowd, prayed at night in the garden... and then went back into the throngs.

    If someone tends to be too self-conscious when in a Christian group, then the attention goes toward feeling observed instead of realizing God's love.
     
  18. LaShae

    LaShae Servant of The Lord

    86
    +4
    Christian
    Married
    Heron,
    Thank you for your response. I find this to be true with my husband. He does however try to be honest with me and that is his way of discussing it. He tends to be a little reserved sometimes, and thats ok. Thanks again. Have a blessed day.
     
  19. JCFantasy23

    JCFantasy23 In a Kingdom by the Sea. Supporter

    +6,293
    United States
    Methodist
    Single
    US-Others
    I'm in the same boat you are, although we're engaged and not married yet. Fiance just isn't interested in church right now! I don't nag about it as I think that would be the worst thing to do with him. Try to tell him how great it went at church for the day, etc. I hope that this also works for you, you've gotten some great advice here.
     
  20. tawnde

    tawnde Newbie

    53
    +2
    Baptist
    Single
    Prayer. Have you heard of Lee Strobel? When he married his wife they weren't Christians, she became a Christian and this left him angry. He has several books out and has a couple of documentaries available on Netflix.
     
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