bratty children misbehaving, no discipline

[AgapeBible]

*sigh* OK, the truth is I do feel bad about the way my parents treated me, and I do have anger issues with them about it. Not to mention the big mess my sister is, I remeber how bad she had it because she was strong willed, stubborn, and my parents labeled her as "rebellious" although she was a good kid she had a lot of problems as an adult. But what can I do about it?

Get lawyer and sue my parents? That's like impossible to do, especially since I am still dependent on them today. I have no choice but to forget about it and forgive them. They have been punished for it.

Besides, their parents, my grandparents treated them worse than they did me and my sister. perhaps the whole history of Christianity and Christian families is one long, endless chain and cycle of child abuse and pain. God is an abusive father that likes to hurt his children, look what he did to Jesus, he cruelly and sadistically had him crucified, ultimate child abuse.


I don't know if I would still have problems if my parents had treated me better and not spanked me, but they did not know andy better, the church taught them spanking was the way to go, spank you kids and feed the garabge from the bible.

 

[PreachersWife2004]

If you have children, or if you're planning to have them, simply learn from the way your parents raised you. That includes taking the negative with the positive. No parent is perfect; there's things my patents did with me that I don't do with my kids and I'm sure there's stuff I don't do well.

 

[AgapeBible]

OK, with my last post I was majorly depressed and angry. I get depressed and angry frequently. When I am in that bad mood I do think bad thoughts about God like I said. When I feel better I love god and don't think He's abusive. I don't ever want children. I can't even take care of myself, how could i care for another human being? It makes me mad when I think of women foolishly getting pregnant out of wedlock. So many people stupidly have children when they should not have. Birth control is a gift from God, not a sin. Abstinence should be used by people cliaming to be Christians.

Crucifixion is very sick and sadistic, what kind of creep invented it? The Romans? Seriously, who is it that invente torture? What kind of sick people want to do that do other people? And why does blood have to be shed so God can forgive? Well, that's a whole other queston...

 

[CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN]

Hey, every kid and their past is different, but a disrespectful young child screaming in Wal-Mart because they are not getting their way is a direct result of not putting a hand or belt on that butt...period.

That's not true,I seen kids get spanked and warned for screaming.Just to see them do it again in 15 minutes or less.

 

[CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN]

Adults are spanked all the time..its called speeding tickets,fines,jail time, prison,

Thats more like a warning or punishment,than spanking.I don't see how any of this can be consider a spanking,unless a cop uses physical force to arrest someone.

I got spanked just a few times as a child but I think that society has a very big responsibility in backing up the parents and letting the child know that said behavior is not tolerated. Usually one or two soft spankings in a life time does the trick...

But in todays society parents don't have others backing them up...quite the opposite..

I don't agree with abuse of any sort....but soft spankings and a stern voice and then a loving hug...is just fine.

Most people I've seen spank there kids,nothing happends.People tend to mind there business when a child gets spanked,since it's legal.People have the right to believe spanking(hitting) is wrong and shouldn't back someone they believe it's abuse.

 

[CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN]

I honestly don't think this is a real post, just a post to try and get people hyped up. My problem is with the main story of the OP:



My 4 year old can't even look over the check out counter without standing on his tip toes and he's tall for his age. How did the 1 or 2 year old toddler not only put his hands all over everything, but was able to drool on a book as well? Even if they were at a self check out lane without the conveyor belt, it would be too tall for a toddler that young to reach and it wouldn't be difficult to block him since all you would have to do is stand there. Maybe if he were seated in a cart, that would make sense, but then he wouldn't have been able to touch her back since the whole back of the cart would be in between them. Something's just not adding up...

I figured at sometime the mother put the child in the cart,or maybe she was exaggerating a bit.

 

[ebia]

Crucifixion is very sick and sadistic, what kind of creep invented it? The Romans? Seriously, who is it that invente torture? What kind of sick people want to do that do other people?

Ones who want to control other people to impose "peace".

As deterrents go, it's pretty effective. Nail the offender to the stake so he dies slowly and in one of the visibly most painful and humiliating ways possible, and then leave the body there for all to see while it decomposes certainly puts people off challenging your empire. Or at least reminds them of the stakes.

The "peace and prosperity" of the Roman empire was built on their expertise in killing people.

 

[keith99]

Ones who want to control other people to impose "peace".

As deterrents go, it's pretty effective. Nail the offender to the stake so he dies slowly and in one of the visibly most painful and humiliating ways possible, and then leave the body there for all to see while it decomposes certainly puts people off challenging your empire. Or at least reminds them of the stakes.

The "peace and prosperity" of the Roman empire was built on their expertise in killing people.

Actually my impression is most historians would disagree. I know Machavelli does.

The cruelity of Rome was not unique in the slightest. Most cultures of the time used that. The benefits Rome provided were unique. Including the chance to rise in power and position and protections under the law.

Oh and Roads, which among other thigns meant Rome could get there to deal with incursions of multiple kinds.

 

[AgapeBible]

Why did God create such a world as this, where the evil people rule, and good people get tortured to death? If I were gOd, I would make things fair and perfect. I would not allow evil to exist. I would not allow the devil to exist. Why does god allow Satan to exist? Perhaps he does not have the power we think he has, or he is not always good, or maybe he is evil and Lucifer is good, or whatever, what we've been taught is not true. I don't understand how a good God can create such a messed-up world and then promsie us "some day" well I want some day to be right now before I kill myself to get there.

 

[TamaraLynne]

Thats more like a warning or punishment,than spanking.I don't see how any of this can be consider a spanking,unless a cop uses physical force to arrest someone.
Most people I've seen spank there kids,nothing happends.People tend to mind there business when a child gets spanked,since it's legal.People have the right to believe spanking(hitting) is wrong and shouldn't back someone they believe it's abuse.

seriously!!!! You have to raise your child to cope in this world...bad behavior means punishment!!! period. Just yesterday I saw a program on television that disturbed me....basically its like this...Brother tries to take little old ladies purse and he gets caught and little lady testifies...now brothers sister kills little old lady for testifying and getting her little brother in trouble...WOW! family devotion...WOW!!!!

We need to teach our kids not only right from wrong and we need to teach them about God but we need to teach the little ones that they will be punished for bad behavior as adults. Prison to me is far worse then a spanking.And..hey sometimes that speeding ticket hurt way more then a spanking...I would prefer a spanking.

 

[ebia]

Actually my impression is most historians would disagree. I know Machavelli does.

The cruelity of Rome was not unique in the slightest. Most cultures of the time used that. The benefits Rome provided were unique. Including the chance to rise in power and position and protections under the law.

Oh and Roads, which among other thigns meant Rome could get there to deal with incursions of multiple kinds.

I'm not implying that expertise in violence was sufficient for Rome's success, just that was one foundational aspect.

 

[TamaraLynne]

We live in a world where people are in a bubble and it is about ME ME ME ...the world revolves around me. THat is a childs mentality...but that is what you see with adults now a days. The "I will make myself happy because nobody cares about me" What you get is people stepping on people in a dog eat dog world...

soft spankings from someone who loves you is a warning...that you are not alone in this world...there is discipline on your part...caring on your part..thinking on your part...


You see I remember the billboards...Child with broken arm and black eye and hair a mess and hands burned from mommy placing hand on burner....I think we would all agree that hard spanking with a belt or any other object and hurting your child is not right...but a soft spanking only hurts feelings...feelings that the one who loves you is a bit angry and disappointed....soft spankings don't hurt. but they are a warning...a warning that instead of pleasing...you have made someone you care about disappointed...

Exactly how much do we care what others think? In the world today I see more and more people not caring...but grabbing at all they can get even if they step and snap the neck of another...it was not that way long ago. But I can even point out that long ago...they took the punishment to far.

My mom for one was severely abused as a child...she vowed never to raise her children that way...she succeeded to a point...yes we got spankings but we never got hurt....yes she let us make noise and play.....something that she never got while growing up. We really need to know how to not be to hard...but we also need to know how to not be to soft...otherwise our children will not only be rebellious but they will be very angry that they were not taught how to care about others...there is a middle road and not a single person can say there is not...because if there was not...then not a single prison today would exist. But then again...lets just blame the parents...good good scapegoat ...

 

[TamaraLynne]

Why did God create such a world as this, where the evil people rule, and good people get tortured to death? If I were gOd, I would make things fair and perfect. I would not allow evil to exist. I would not allow the devil to exist. Why does god allow Satan to exist? Perhaps he does not have the power we think he has, or he is not always good, or maybe he is evil and Lucifer is good, or whatever, what we've been taught is not true. I don't understand how a good God can create such a messed-up world and then promsie us "some day" well I want some day to be right now before I kill myself to get there.

God gave us free will....I do not blame God for my stepdads decision to sexually molest me.....it was my stepdads free will to do what he wanted...Don't you see...that peoples hearts are revealed? God wants us to love him and chose him..he does not want robots that he controls to say "I love you" God wants us to be real...REAL!

In this mess he is hoping we will pray and loose the angels to help us...He is wanting us to ask for help...but if you remember even Jesus and the apostles could not stop the evil of others...but in the spiritual world they can stop the demons...but in the world of flesh....sometimes flesh has decided to cross over the line and decide to be evil....they are exposed.

They are the ones throwing their fists up at God and cursing him...

To hold on to anger is not good for any of us. To go through it can be good because we think a bit clearer afterwards if we don't let anger control us....
But exactly what are we angry at? I personally am angry at Satan for thinking we were not worthy...for trying to prove we are not worthy...our garden of Eden was taken from us...was Satan right?...Are you really not worthy of Gods love? Lets prove him wrong! Because God says we are worthy.

 

[TamaraLynne]

Maybe...just maybe....in this whole mess even Satan is being given a chance to repent...maybe.....but from what I can see...he does not care one bit...not only for himself...but he does not care one bit for others....lets not produce children who do not care for others...God even says to care about our enemies..why? Because he loved them as they were being formed inside the womb....they are his children...

I would not want my oldest child to do harm to my youngest...I love all my children. I might be more please with my youngest behavior...but I love all my children forever. Could we think God loves less then us?

 

[TamaraLynne]

Okay...these are the things I think of...anyone can say"wow! whats going on in her head? Well...you know...you can disagree with me and that is fine..I would agree to agree with your disagree....

These are just things that go through my head...this is how I think because of all that I am and have learned and have experienced...and also I think this way because I try to think some things through

Hey...maybe I would be happier if I did not think but was caught up in a euphoric mindset...la la la

 

[ebia]

We live in a world where people are in a bubble and it is about ME ME ME ...the world revolves around me. THat is a childs mentality...but that is what you see with adults now a days. The "I will make myself happy because nobody cares about me" What you get is people stepping on people in a dog eat dog world...

soft spankings from someone who loves you is a warning...that you are not alone in this world...there is discipline on your part...caring on your part..thinking on your part...

You see I remember the billboards...Child with broken arm and black eye and hair a mess and hands burned from mommy placing hand on burner....I think we would all agree that hard spanking with a belt or any other object and hurting your child is not right...but a soft spanking only hurts feelings...feelings that the one who loves you is a bit angry and disappointed....soft spankings don't hurt. but they are a warning...a warning that instead of pleasing...you have made someone you care about disappointed...

Exactly how much do we care what others think? In the world today I see more and more people not caring...but grabbing at all they can get even if they step and snap the neck of another...it was not that way long ago. But I can even point out that long ago...they took the punishment to far.

My mom for one was severely abused as a child...she vowed never to raise her children that way...she succeeded to a point...yes we got spankings but we never got hurt....yes she let us make noise and play.....something that she never got while growing up. We really need to know how to not be to hard...but we also need to know how to not be to soft...otherwise our children will not only be rebellious but they will be very angry that they were not taught how to care about others...there is a middle road and not a single person can say there is not...because if there was not...then not a single prison today would exist. But then again...lets just blame the parents...good good scapegoat ...

The [only] way to teach empathy and community is though violence?

 

[TamaraLynne]

The [only] way to teach empathy and community is though violence?

You have all got to get past that mindset...you think that sounds intelligent....but a soft spanking is not violence...look at what teachers are now going through because either parents hands were tied or they thought time out was the only way...what do you do when time out does not work? what do you do when the child raised with time out walks out the door as soon as a grounding is put in place? what do you do when kids tell other parents that they don't like home because the parents tell them no to something? What do you do when your kids grow up thinking that being a victim is popular and if you don't hate your parents then something is wrong with you?


I have watched the change happen...I have seen the billboards...I have heard all the "experts" and their "opinions" as they were on a mission to make money on their books...I have seen the change happen...I see how parents are still blamed for their childrens behavior and those parents were the ones listening to all the experts and refraining from violence. I'm watching all this happening...

I'm against abuse....but like I said...there is a middle road. Exactely what does the bible say?

Yes...don't spare the rod...but also it says don't provoke your child to wrath...does that not sound like we need to think about...not being to hard...and also not to soft?

 

[TamaraLynne]

As I said in another post...showing love and forgiveness is also important after the chastisement.

As far as explaining to a child after saying no.....well all you will get is "THATS STUPID" from a child.

Now I understand why parents use to say "because I said so" A child just can't argue with that.

but I keep telling my kids the reason I say "no". It is so hard wired into me to explain things ...because as a child I thought I wanted the explanation for the no.

Not any of us are perfect...as for me I love my children and yes they will make mistakes but I hope that my words of warning will be heeded...I don't want my children to experience the harse reality of how the world responds to their mistakes after they become adults.

 

[ebia]

You have all got to get past that mindset...you think that sounds intelligent....but a soft spanking is not violence...look at what teachers are now going through because either parents hands were tied or they thought time out was the only way..

I am a teacher. Anecdotally, my experience is that at school is worse in students from families that use corporal punishment than those that don't.

.what do you do when time out does not work?

Then you try something else.

What do you do when a firm whack doesn't work?

All punishment is a poor way of changing behavior. Corporal punishment doesn't solve that, but it does reinforce the idea that violence can solve problems.

A "soft spank" is violence, it's just a mild form.

 

[TamaraLynne]

I am a teacher. Anecdotally, my experience is that at school is worse in students from families that use corporal punishment than those that don't.


Then you try something else.

What do you do when a firm whack doesn't work?

All punishment is a poor way of changing behavior. Corporal punishment doesn't solve that, but it does reinforce the idea that violence can solve problems.

A "soft spank" is violence, it's just a mild form.

You are one teacher out of millions...but...I stand corrected by a teacher.

I have eight children....and the day my daughter came home from school telling me her teacher told her to call 911 if our parents spanked them..

I think it has gone to far...

you say that the children who misbehave come from violent homes....I think a part of the equation of what is going on is missing....My generation was spanked....we were very good in school besides an occasional paper airplane or spitball...oh...well I'm not one hundred percent honest...we got very loud before class when a substitute teacher was there....but usually the class settled down after a few minutes...

but what my kids tell me as far as kids at school...it is a whole different world from what I experienced as a child.

These kids are products of time outs...how can that be explained? Could it be media? rapidly rise in divorce? both parents working? lack of attention? Something ?

My kids go to the same country school I went to...why is it sooo different?