BPD and relationship with God

[.Iona.]

How does BPD impact your relationship with God?
I keep changing how I feel about/ see God and I hate it.

 

[Emli]

How does BPD impact your relationship with God?
I keep changing how I feel about/ see God and I hate it.

All I can say is, you need to not worry about it! As a BPD survivor, I know this for a fact. God can take all of your mood swings, no matter how severe they may be, and set your mind straight. He is not offended by it, but understands what you are going through.
We all change our views on God often, sometimes many times a day, but for someone with BPD, that will be much more often, and much more severe. You need to keep going, and keep learning to put all of your trust in Him.

If you want to talk, feel free to PM me. I've been where you are.
Or ask me anything in the thread if you wish.

 

[Chaplain David]

I agree with the post above. God can do anything and accepts you as you are. He wants us to move closer to Him and that's what I see you trying to do. Examining your thoughts and behavior shows me that you care about Him and perhaps are beginning to care about yourself.

One thing I'd recommend is that if you do not have a therapist, I'd try to find one who is a Christian and is familiar with treating BPD. All are not. A skilled professional can help you in many ways. I know this from personal experience. Two types of therapists that are particularly skilled in terms of training and being licensed are Licensed Professional Counselors and Licensed Clinical Social Workers.

If you ever want to talk with one of the CF Chaplains, just click on the link below. The thread can be posted normally or it can also be posted anonymously under the Private link.

Here's a good scripture passage for the day,

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on thine own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make you path straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Faithfully,

 

[Bluerose31]

How does BPD impact your relationship with God?
I keep changing how I feel about/ see God and I hate it.

Take it day by day and let God heal you and comfort you every day.

 

[Chaplain David]

It must be difficult but you're trying. I believe that God is happy with that. You're giving Him your best.

 

[Amy-Rebekah]

I'm also a BPD survivor even had the fun of the MH system to boot! I found that actually in all the emotional turmoil in my life God is the one unchanging constant and the knowledge of that is grounding and I've built my recovery on that. I saw a GP who I hadn't spoken to since Xmas and she was surprised at how I'd been stable so long. I told her it's because I'm building good strong relationships through church and god and she asked me more about God (first I was like proper worried thinking "oh dear is she questioning me because I'm religious and have BPD") but she then said to me that she was genuinely interested as she'd been brought up an atheist and didn't know much about God!

 

[santiagoamr]

Today, I absolutely despise Christ, his mother for giving birth to him. I want to go to hell rather than to be a tool for his Glory. I can't stand him i want to be an Atheist but I can't deny God.

The circumstances of my life have put me in a position that i will have to steal in order to care for my mother, my dog and cats, which is a plus since i want to hurt God and the closest i can get to that is through his "children"

I devoted my life to his false hope. I never asked for anything except for Grace and strength to accept his will, in the process I lost almost everyone and everything while enduring torment everyday, wanting to die or better yet to not exist for over 20 years. Now i am loosing my most precious thing, something everyone recignised, my mind. So my biggest fear is becoming a reality.

Having Faith in God has destroyed me, i should have abandoned that long ago and focused entirely on me and my growth or at least healing, but no i insisted on wanting to practise worthless Virtues.

Misery in the slow simmering of hope is what you get and all the BS promise of heaven is ridicolous, since from my experience, i will get worse than i've had, so it is imbecilic to trust God from my perspective.

But what can we do? We have no free will, it is a lie, since we did not have the choice to exist, our existance was imposed by a narcissistic being, that gets off on his Glory from his "Salvation Plan".

Satan saw through him, that is clear, but being deluded pretended to be able to do something about it. He like the rest of us are puppets.

This is how my BPD has affected my relationship woth God

 

[bhsmte]

In general, folks with BPD struggle with any type of relationship.

 

[Godislove94]

It's very, very hard to have one. You see yourself as completely evil and something that God has to destroy and just wants to punish, because why else would He want anything to do you with you? You find yourself entrenched in legalism because of your black and white thinking. You fight and argue with God about being branded evil, only to feel terrible about the things you say to Him later and see why you deserve to be branded as being evil. You hate God, then You're terrified of Him. You sabotage His plans for You and throw away the blessings He gives you because you know you're evil and are scared that if you take them, He'll punish you for taking them unworthily. When you're on an upswing, you go to the extremes of faith, even if it means hurting yourself in the process because you think that if you don't, God won't be pleased with you and He might destroy you. You're always trying to justify yourself, be enough...and you hate yourself more every day for the things you do....and the cycle starts over again the next day.

 

[Bluerose31]

Today, I absolutely despise Christ, his mother for giving birth to him. I want to go to hell rather than to be a tool for his Glory. I can't stand him i want to be an Atheist but I can't deny God.

The circumstances of my life have put me in a position that i will have to steal in order to care for my mother, my dog and cats, which is a plus since i want to hurt God and the closest i can get to that is through his "children"

I devoted my life to his false hope. I never asked for anything except for Grace and strength to accept his will, in the process I lost almost everyone and everything while enduring torment everyday, wanting to die or better yet to not exist for over 20 years. Now i am loosing my most precious thing, something everyone recignised, my mind. So my biggest fear is becoming a reality.

Having Faith in God has destroyed me, i should have abandoned that long ago and focused entirely on me and my growth or at least healing, but no i insisted on wanting to practise worthless Virtues.

Misery in the slow simmering of hope is what you get and all the BS promise of heaven is ridicolous, since from my experience, i will get worse than i've had, so it is imbecilic to trust God from my perspective.

But what can we do? We have no free will, it is a lie, since we did not have the choice to exist, our existance was imposed by a narcissistic being, that gets off on his Glory from his "Salvation Plan".

Satan saw through him, that is clear, but being deluded pretended to be able to do something about it. He like the rest of us are puppets.

This is how my BPD has affected my relationship woth God

I am sorry you are suffering so much. I also have BPD. It does cause many struggles in ones life. I pray that God turn his face to you and bless you for your suffering. I pray that for every suffering you have had, God gives you a blessing. I pray you receive comfort and love from God and that your life heals.

 

[Jlaw260]

Wow, ironically I have been exploring this very subject. My sister said something very simple and profound. We have 2 reasons why we exist. "to get to know Jesus Christ for our eternal salvation, and help as many people as we can to do the same. The rest is just filler". See I have lately trying to regain sight of that, which is easy to do in todays world.

I have wrestled with my faith many times as well though. I have BPD as well. When life just stinks, the cards are stacked against me, I can pull away. I happens in my mind, but in my heart he is still going to right there with me. I feel guilty but come around knowing that his grace and mercy is unconditional.

I believe by his design, tough times are his way of wanting us to seek him and ultimately have a stronger relationship with him.

 

[Bluerose31]

Wow, ironically I have been exploring this very subject. My sister said something very simple and profound. We have 2 reasons why we exist. "to get to know Jesus Christ for our eternal salvation, and help as many people as we can to do the same. The rest is just filler". See I have lately trying to regain sight of that, which is easy to do in todays world.

I have wrestled with my faith many times as well though. I have BPD as well. When life just stinks, the cards are stacked against me, I can pull away. I happens in my mind, but in my heart he is still going to right there with me. I feel guilty but come around knowing that his grace and mercy is unconditional.

I believe by his design, tough times are his way of wanting us to seek him and ultimately have a stronger relationship with him.

Thank you for sharing this. May Jesus bless you

 

[.Iona.]

I still seem to have the same problems. I have made progress in many areas of my BPD, but relationships are still really difficult. One minute I feel God's love and know what He wants me to do, the next I am sure He hates me and this is why no one will ever want to be with me.

I just can't overcome this.

 

[Skyflowers]

All I can say is, you need to not worry about it! As a BPD survivor, I know this for a fact. God can take all of your mood swings, no matter how severe they may be, and set your mind straight. He is not offended by it, but understands what you are going through.
We all change our views on God often, sometimes many times a day, but for someone with BPD, that will be much more often, and much more severe. You need to keep going, and keep learning to put all of your trust in Him.

If you want to talk, feel free to PM me. I've been where you are.
Or ask me anything in the thread if you wish.

are you recovered?

 

[Emli]

are you recovered?

Edit: I was told to remove anything about evil spirits.

I have fully recovered, so much that the psychologists I used to see, who was of almost no help to me, were shocked when I told them. It was both emotional and spiritual, but mostly the disorder came from the way I processed the world around me, having my mind controlled by the flesh. God is a healer and our deliverer, and He renews our minds and teaches us how to think from His perspective and He gives us peace and a sound mind. Jesus healed the sick and the mad everywhere He went and that hasn't changed today, because He didn't leave us as orphans. But it's a matter of faith, and of whether we choose to listen to science or to God's Word, and whether we choose to trust God or not. A Christian isn't supposed to stay the way we are according to our natural man, but we are cleansed and become a new creation. We just have to keep giving everything to God and let Him transform us, step by step, day by day and remember that anything is possible if you believe.

 

[Skyflowers]

I have fully recovered, so much that the psychologists I used to see, who was of almost no help to me, were shocked when I told them. It was both emotional and spiritual, but mostly the disorder came from the way I processed the world around me, having my mind controlled by the flesh (and unclean spirits). God is a healer and our deliverer, and He renews our minds and teaches us how to think from His perspective and He gives us peace and a sound mind. Jesus healed the sick, the mad and the demon possessed everywhere He went and that hasn't changed today, because He didn't leave us as orphans. But it's a matter of faith, and of whether we choose to listen to science or to God's Word, and whether we choose to trust God or not. A Christian isn't supposed to stay the way we are according to our natural man, but we are cleansed and become a new creation. We just have to keep giving everything to God and let Him transform us, step by step, day by day and remember that anything is possible if you believe.

You had demons? How'd they leave

 

[Emli]

You had demons? How'd they leave

Edit: I'll send you a PM instead.

 

[Chaplain David]

How does BPD impact your relationship with God?
I keep changing how I feel about/ see God and I hate it.

I've read your thread and think that you are doing remarkably well. Your health challenges are sometimes difficult but the folks I know with BPD who are working with their physicians about their meds are doing better and have gotten better over time. Your problems with BPD are not self inflicted but an illness that you've taken ahold of and are doing things to improve. I have confidence that most if not all problems you are experiencing will get better over time. The greatest help is maintaining your relationship with God. You have trouble with that sometimes but you come back to Him as you can. You haven't given up and I really respect that. Keep leaning on the Lord and that will really strengthen you. God bless you in everything that you do.

 

[DawnStar]

Edit: I was told to remove anything about evil spirits.

I am glad to see that the forum rules are being enforced. There are far too many instances of people on these forums being told that their problems are demonic.

 

[Chaplain David]

Sometimes it comes from underlying illness. We are always ready in Ask a Chaplain to talk with anyone who has a problem. God bless.