i have an illness called Borderline personality Disorder
I looked this up. It seems it means a person does not have stable values, because the person is very unstable, and therefore can shift back and forth about what one values and believes.
Also, the person can easily get angry when there is no real reason. And so, it can be like walking on eggshells, with the person; because you never know what could set the person off.
But you are you, not some category person who can be represented the same as all others in some group. You are unique, created by God who is not a copier!! So, what really speaks for you?
Do you find that people have to walk on eggshells with you? I think this could be for two basic possible reasons.
I think there can be the victim person who is constantly the victim of anger which keeps violating the person to react negatively, but the person does not really want this.
Or, there could be predatory anger, like how, if I understand right, a narcissist can use angry reacting in order to keep people on eggshells in order to control people, on purpose.
In case you find that you have an anger problem, God cares about us. Even if we are wrong, God desires to help us to get strong in His love with His own self control shared with us.
Yes, God gets angry, but He rules and decides if and how He gets angry, plus He always is doing the loving thing to make things better.
Every one of us needs His correction and healing so we are more and more natural at reacting in His loving way, and not reacting only or mainly about if things are going the way we want.
If the book is secular, it might not show there is hope for you, the way the Bible says there is hope for you. And if you talk with Christian people about your problems . . . anger, for one example . . . it is possible ones will say, "we all do". And they can help you with how God has helped them.
And how is your husband, for being a good example of being gentle and humble, himself? If he has been a good example, and he is the one you chose to marry, do you trust him? I am considering that he is not only trying to label you with a medical category thing, and he is not only about deciding if you are evil or not, but he cares about how things are in relating with you, because he desires to stay with you and so he cares about how it will be, and how it will be for your children and anyone else you share with. And he cares about you.
So, being criticized does not have to mean you are being rejected; but people want you and so they care how things are going to be while sharing with you. And they care about you.
But, yes, there are people who do not know how to love you. And so you need to be able to love those people and have hope for them. God wants you to love, not only to be loved. However anyone is good with you is your example required for you to also become a caring and helping person. I have so benefitted from the ones who have been my example of how to be kind and gentle and humble.
Love "hopes all things" (in 1 Corinthians 13:7). You, too, need to become a loving person who has hope for any and all people, and you are not only reacting about how things go for you, because you care about others as yourself. Loving is so better, and we all have needed to be saved by Jesus so we can begin to learn how to love in obedience to how God in us rules us with His own peace so we are so intimately sharing with Him.
So, every one of us has needed all which you need. We have just had different ways of having problems. So, consider who God is, and not so much how you are, now. Do not judge by how you are now; but trust how God can bring you to share with Him and us in all His own good. And yes there are people who do not know how to love and help you . . . because we are human. We need God to do all He can do; so we pray for you . . . and for us.
