Body insecuriy

[Shroom]

I'm wondering if anyone on here has any experiences with body insecurity?

My best friend, we nick name Snow, is a guy with very pale blond hair, a feminine face, a very lean build with square shoulders and a thin waist.... I look nothing like my friend, Snow. I have pectus excavatum which makes me look both lanky and gives me a pot belly, a face full of acne, a mouth full of braces and a weird portwine stain on my arm. I'm not the conventional idea of handsome in any case and on my off days I find myself almost hating the person in the bathroom mirror. Does anyone else have these kinda experiences?

 

[r4.h]

I'm wondering if anyone on here has any experiences with body insecurity?

My best friend, we nick name Snow, is a guy with very pale blond hair, a feminine face, a very lean build with square shoulders and a thin waist.... I look nothing like my friend, Snow. I have pectus excavatum which makes me look both lanky and gives me a pot belly, a face full of acne, a mouth full of braces and a weird portwine stain on my arm. I'm not the conventional idea of handsome in any case and on my off days I find myself almost hating the person in the bathroom mirror. Does anyone else have these kinda experiences?

Some start off handsome and ruin themselves with unforgivenes or vice, other go through adolesance as the "ugjy duckling" that turns into a beautiful swan. I had alot of body insecurity as a teenager but at grew out of alot of them.
A girl in my glass was teased so much, but grew up to be a stunner. Always remember that what we lack, God compensates with something else. No body has it all, and many who appear to are just as insecure, even to suicide.

 

[Shroom]

Some start off handsome and ruin themselves with unforgivenes or vice, other go through adolesance as the "ugjy duckling" that turns into a beautiful swan. I had alot of body insecurity as a teenager but at grew out of alot of them.
A girl in my glass was teased so much, but grew up to be a stunner. Always remember that what we lack, God compensates with something else. No body has it all, and many who appear to are just as insecure, even to suicide.

I know it's a superficial insecurity but it doesn't stop it from being there. It's not like you can control everything in your head.

It also involves some really dumb circular logical thoughts of inaction. An example is I would probably be less insecure about my body if I went to the gym.... I don't go to the gym because I'm insecure about my body.

 

[Ada Lovelace]

I'm wondering if anyone on here has any experiences with body insecurity?

My best friend, we nick name Snow, is a guy with very pale blond hair, a feminine face, a very lean build with square shoulders and a thin waist.... I look nothing like my friend, Snow. I have pectus excavatum which makes me look both lanky and gives me a pot belly, a face full of acne, a mouth full of braces and a weird portwine stain on my arm. I'm not the conventional idea of handsome in any case and on my off days I find myself almost hating the person in the bathroom mirror. Does anyone else have these kinda experiences?

You're marvelously descriptive. This section barely has a pulse, so you may not receive many replies, but I think most teens here, as well as most adults on this forum, have experienced insecurities about their bodies, about themselves. Our bodies are unique but I think anxieties about them tend to be quite common. I'll share a bit about my own.

I've mentally wrestled with insecurity about my body for years, pinning myself down with harsh critiques, and then attacking myself for pathetically being so affected by image. I'd be upset about how I looked, and then upset with myself about how I felt about how I looked. As a child I was happy with my appearance, and enjoyed positive feedback I received. I'm a gymnast and competitive dancer, so I was pleased with my body's abilities, and I modeled, so I felt secure with my looks. I think I became dependent upon that feedback.

As an infant already fragile from being born prematurely, I contracted chickenpox and it caused sepsis that ravaged my body and destroyed part of my stomach, necessitating a surgery to remove what was damaged. I basically had weight loss surgery as a baby. I've never been able to consume as much food as "normal" people can, and have to use care with anything that is sugary or spicy, or I'll become miserably ill. I have a very weak appetite. I'd always been slim, but a prolonged illness when I was 12-13 caused me to become extremely skinny. The positive feedback swiftly evaporated and was replaced with negativity. I went from having other girls tell me they envied me for being thin, to being the recipient of pity for looking "emaciated," "like a concentration camp victim," like a "lollipop" (meaning my head looked like it was on a stick figure). Even though my history of medical issues was fairly well-known because I've always had to wear a medical ID bracelet, there were rampant rumors that I had an eating disorder. Those rumors escalated tremendously after someone uploaded videos of my performances at a dance competition to a popular channel on YouTube that then featured it, and suddenly there was a flock of people commenting about me. People quickly found my own channel where I'd been posting videos mainly for family and friends, and suddenly I had all these subscribers and people talking about me.
People would immediately assume I was anorexic. Young thin ballerina, I fit the stereotype. There were as many comments about my weight as my dancing. Some would write out long posts about how tragic it was that I was such a talented dancer but was jeopardizing my potential because of my "obvious" eating disorder, and others were just cruel, writing things like "eww, she's too skinny, I can't even watch that." Weight loss caused hair loss, intensifying my insecurity, and leading to more hurtful comments. Even on this forum I've had people make comments about how slender I am, asking why I'm "skin and bones," and telling me to eat something, after I've happily posted pictures of myself in picture-sharing threads, where no one else had gotten negative comments or unsolicited advice on their appearance. That those comments came from adult men, and not teenage girls, hurt more. I used to be under the naive impression that it was only kids who were so thoughtless.

I've even been told that I promoted an unhealthy body image, that I was "thinspiration" for girls with eating disorders, and I should stop sharing pictures and videos of myself. Though this was never said to my face; just comments left on the internet that shouldn't have pierced through and shattered me, but did. And then after soaking myself with tears I'd be angry for caring so much. I'd bully myself for being so sensitive. It was exhausting.

This is my last year of age eligibility for the youth dance competitions, so I've been feeling wistful. I'm not bitter. I am mainly regretful that I wasn't able to just put some armor over my heart. I'd be so delighted at dance competitions, and then let negative comments penetrate and drain the joy. I actually just uploaded a throwback video a couple of days ago to a dance competition from when I was 13 because I was thinking of that time. I was SO happy in that moment. I wish I hadn't let anyone else spoil the happy with their commentary about my body. I wish I hadn't let them impact my sense of self-worth. I'll share it but apologize for the horrible video quality; it gives a visual of how thin I was, even though it's a fuzzy visual, ha.

I still struggle with insecurity about my body. Most girls are fully grown by now, but due to developmental delays I still haven't "filled out" much. I'm trying to just be grateful for the body given to me and take care of it the best I can. Most in their youth experience insecurity about their bodies, and most older adults say they wish they had enjoyed their bodies more when they were young. Many look back at pictures and see beauty that hadn't been visible through their teenage eyes. There will always be critics, but I think we need to not be the harshest critic of ourselves. I like the New Living Translation of Psalm 139:14 the best: Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous -- how well I know it.

 

[thehehe]

There is nothing superficial about body insecurities - we are our bodies, so they are really serious.
And just like we accept our mental insecurities or weaknesses, we have to accept as well our bodies.
When we are teens, we both change mentally and physically and both are frightening. Our mental can't stand anymore what we are : just as you can reject all your education, you can reject your body which seems to enslave you. That is a real dimension which could a bit comfort you

I struggled too, and by moments still struggle, with my own insecurities and particulary my face. I did two years and a half of isotretinoin and I still have acne -now adult feminine acne- because of some hormonal troubles when I started my puberty. I hated myself, I really did : I convinced myself that if I had looked differently, boys would have liked me, I would have had a bunch of friends and I would have been the star of the highschool. Thing is... I perfectly knew, at the time, that it was false. I never really wanted such things, as it does not fit at all my personnality, I just felt bitter because some of my friends were highly popular and liked : I admit, I was jealous. I wanted to be loved or adored just as my friends.
But I was liked. Not loved or adored, I did never have a bunch of admirers, but I was liked. I had friends, a loving family, all the encouragements of my teachers who estimated me. I already had everything I was looking for somehow. So please, do not compare yourself to this friend, do not let a bitter heart poison such an amazing friendship.

My face changed as I grew up, people started to look at me differently as I myself now accepted me. I now am nearly 20, a young woman, full-grown, with an adult body : my body changed a lot and now fit my mind. I am grown both mentally and physically. I am in peace with myself, I even sometimes call myself pretty. Just as my brother once told me, as I was crying in front of the bathroom mirror because of my face (it had become an obsession) : if God created you this way, then you should be happy of yourself as he perfectly knows what he is doing. If God wanted you to exist, then you shine of his beauty, because, just as St Thomas said, you are God's image : your imperfect face is God's face.