Blasphemous thoughts about the Holy Spirit

[zachariahjosephturner]

That sounds terrible...
Have you seen a psychiatrist?? I really think you may benefit from one. God created Doctors for a reason. Just like if someone has schizophrenia, they would need treatment for it. OCD can cause your brain to change and you may have a chemical imbalance due to the excessive thoughts, panic, anxiety, etc. I would reallly look into Christian psychiatrists near you. I will even help you find one, really. I think it’s time for you to get out of this and accept help you will overcome this

Awesome would love to have some help but I'm very leery about who to go to I don't want some worldly secular lady trying to brainwash me if you get what I'm saying I'd love to have someone that really knows about this illness and knows exactly what I'm going through and can really help me thanks for your reply though bless you

 

[zachariahjosephturner]

I just want to say again, reading all this. This is your testing. You will get out of this. Trust in Him, because it is the Spirit of God working in you, Jesus in you,..He will do it. Hold strong. I am actually kind of excited for you and I know that sounds insane to be excited because of what you are dealing with, but you will get free. Look at when you say this started. You are being sifted. What the enemy means for evil, God will turn to good. You just trust Him with all that is in you, even when you can't see. Especially when you can't see.

Did you know that some of the best preachers in history had to deal with this? Paul Bunyan and Spurgeon? Look into this.

You are being tested. Pray and ask the Lord if this is so.

That's what I'm holding on to you and fighting the good fight of faith I have those books in my library John Bunyan, Charles Spurgeon, George Whitefield, I've read The Dark Night of the Soul so a lot of God's generals of old have dealt with this I just feel like I have given in to theses thoughts now and the more iv tried to ignore them the more they just won't leave

 

[Mari17]

Amen thank you sister! Question?.........can ocd develop turrets in you........kinda like making you constantly feel like you want to blaspheme the Holy Spirit thus you feel like the thoughts want to push out of mouth againts your will...........of course I have not the slightest desire to blasheme anything holy but yet my desire is to serve the Lord!

Hm...I don't mind giving an answer, but I think I remember discussing this with you before. Could this perhaps be a form of reassurance seeking?

 

[Jessd77]

That's what I'm holding on to you and fighting the good fight of faith I have those books in my library John Bunyan, Charles Spurgeon, George Whitefield, I've read The Dark Night of the Soul so a lot of God's generals of old have dealt with this I just feel like I have given in to theses thoughts now and the more iv tried to ignore them the more they just won't leave

Hey again Zach,
There is nothing wrong with seeking help. God heals people in many different ways- if you had a serious illness, you would seek medical treatment for that. God can heal people miraculously, and he can also heal people through others. It’s all about the journey He wants you to go through. I think you should consider seeing a psychiatrist. I have many Christian friends and people in my church who benefit from and recommend this kind of help. God can heal anyone He wants to, and we don’t know how that healing will come about. For instance, I’ve heard of Christians who were miraculously healed from cancers with little treatment, and others who had to go through radiation etc. God created doctors for a reason and gave them the gift to be able to help others. He most definitely works through His people. Please please, at least talk to a psychiatrist. I really think it’s time to see other options out there. One of my best friends was talking to me today (she’s a strong Christian) and she told me she has been on anti depressants for years and that it’s helped her in the best way. She still relies on God for everything but the medication helped with the chemical imbalance. There’s nothing wrong with receiving help. Why did God create doctors etc. if he didn’t want anyone to get help? I can help you find a Christian Psychiatrist near you if you want? I hope you’ll consider it. There are medications that can help you along with Gods healing power. I don’t know how God wants to heal you of course- I just know that he also works through other people and that certain mental illnesses DO need special treatment. Some people are able to heal on their own, while others have severe issues that need treatment and proper care. God loves you regardless and I think it’s time for you to get some treatment and seek some guidance and help. Don’t allow anyone to make you feel guilty for what you’re going through or like you need to fix it on your own. God is with you through this all.

 

[zachariahjosephturner]

Hey again Zach,
There is nothing wrong with seeking help. God heals people in many different ways- if you had a serious illness, you would seek medical treatment for that. God can heal people miraculously, and he can also heal people through others. It’s all about the journey He wants you to go through. I think you should consider seeing a psychiatrist. I have many Christian friends and people in my church who benefit from and recommend this kind of help. God can heal anyone He wants to, and we don’t know how that healing will come about. For instance, I’ve heard of Christians who were miraculously healed from cancers with little treatment, and others who had to go through radiation etc. God created doctors for a reason and gave them the gift to be able to help others. He most definitely works through His people. Please please, at least talk to a psychiatrist. I really think it’s time to see other options out there. One of my best friends was talking to me today (she’s a strong Christian) and she told me she has been on anti depressants for years and that it’s helped her in the best way. She still relies on God for everything but the medication helped with the chemical imbalance. There’s nothing wrong with receiving help. Why did God create doctors etc. if he didn’t want anyone to get help? I can help you find a Christian Psychiatrist near you if you want? I hope you’ll consider it. There are medications that can help you along with Gods healing power. I don’t know how God wants to heal you of course- I just know that he also works through other people and that certain mental illnesses DO need special treatment. Some people are able to heal on their own, while others have severe issues that need treatment and proper care. God loves you regardless and I think it’s time for you to get some treatment and seek some guidance and help. Don’t allow anyone to make you feel guilty for what you’re going through or like you need to fix it on your own. God is with you through this all.

Thank you so much for your reply. The hardest part as of right now is convincing myself that these feelings and thoughts are not originating from my own heart now after all these years now............ sometimes I feel like when there's a moment of Peace in my mind I began deliberately start thinking them on my own......... kind of like my brain chemicals are addicted to thinking the opposite........ yes I am a strong Christian myself been saved since 2009.........it's like a drug addict being addicted to meth and yet every time he follows through pushing the needle in his arm his heart cries for deliverance because he really within himself doesn't want to do it! he's just adicted and bound!! That's how I feel with these thoughts! they cause great distress and strong the depersonalization and most of all spiritual numbness to the utmost highest degree. Of course I know we walked totally by faith and not by sight. Even despite the strong opposite feelings and thoughts I still continue on! Anyways here is the city in which I live that way you can maybe find some Christian people to help me.........

Asheville NC ...........

Again thank you for all the help!

 

[Jessd77]

Thank you so much for your reply. The hardest part as of right now is convincing myself that these feelings and thoughts are not originating from my own heart now after all these years now............ sometimes I feel like when there's a moment of Peace in my mind I began deliberately start thinking them on my own......... kind of like my brain chemicals are addicted to thinking the opposite........ yes I am a strong Christian myself been saved since 2009.........it's like a drug addict being addicted to meth and yet every time he follows through pushing the needle in his arm his heart cries for deliverance because he really within himself doesn't want to do it! he's just adicted and bound!! That's how I feel with these thoughts! they cause great distress and strong the depersonalization and most of all spiritual numbness to the utmost highest degree. Of course I know we walked totally by faith and not by sight. Even despite the strong opposite feelings and thoughts I still continue on! Anyways here is the city in which I live that way you can maybe find some Christian people to help me.........

Asheville NC ...........

Again thank you for all the help!

I hear you Zach.
A lot of my freedom came when I realized those thoughts were not mine and from my heart and that God knew that too. Your thoughts are just obsessive that’s all. Whenever my mind got quiet I’d freak out because that’s usually when the thoughts would slip in. When I stopped caring about the thoughts they just kind of began to fade away and affect me less, which was crazy because they were debilitating for so long. My mind is so much clearer now- I’m gonna start looking for people you can see in your area. I think treatment will benefit you SO much. Even if it’s just counseling- would you prefer to see a Christian counselor first? So many of them treat religious ocd (it’s actually very common and something so many Christians suffer from so you are not alone at all...) and then they can refer you to a specialist if they do recommend medication!?

 

[zachariahjosephturner]

Yes maybe a Christian specialist that deals with mental battles of the Mind........ intrusive thoughts and intrusive speech

 

[Mari17]

Yes maybe a Christian specialist that deals with mental battles of the Mind........ intrusive thoughts and intrusive speech

I think it would be great if you could find help! Just a caution: Some therapists say they know how to treat OCD, but they actually don't. According to what I've heard from others who have gotten effective therapy, it's important to look for someone who knows how to treat OCD using CBT (and specifically ERP) therapies. Some other therapies like ACT might work as well, but I'm not sure if it's as commonly used as ERP. OCD can be so hard to understand that I feel like it's important to make sure that the therapist is familiar with it, so that they can help you treat it as OCD and not as a spiritual defect or by doing things which can actually make it worse, like providing reassurance. I'm not an expert by any means, but these are just some of my thoughts.

 

[zachariahjosephturner]

The thoughts are one thing but the feelings of severe detachment and hopelessness is going to drive me to a mental hospital! I have not felt the peecence of God in long time which I feel like king saul now...........severe Derealizarion,depersonalization,utter detachment from myself and reality, extreme hopelessness, feel like I'm unable to believe or have hope anymore.........this is what I deal with on a daily basis totally againts my will.......this is what makes it hard.........I HAVE NO CONTROLE OVER THIS AND I ABSOLUTELY HATE OT WITH A PASSION!!!!!! It won't leave no matter what............Due to 7 yrs of blasphemous thoughts I know feel possessed! I hate this with a passion but yet something try to convince me that I love these blasphemous thoughts and feelings.........in when the horrible feelings come it brings an irritation feeling over me while at same time I have urges to curse in my head.........totally helpless I give in this it constantly ruins my day............because of this I also suffer from extreme anhedonia which means loss of all feeling and emotion........... sometimes I can feel hope but as soon as I began to feel like my natural self immediately my mind begins to curse uncontrollabley Conjuring up the most wicked phrases sentences that you could imagine! Then like clock work despondency, Hopeless, blasphemy overwhelme me once again! Holding me against my will once again in a dark lonely prison cell with no hope! It seems my body cannot feel the way it used to feel it's addicted to feeling this nonsense of which I have no control over!

 

[Jessd77]

Hey Zach email me okay? Jessdan879@gmail.com

The thoughts are one thing but the feelings of severe detachment and hopelessness is going to drive me to a mental hospital! I have not felt the peecence of God in long time which I feel like king saul now...........severe Derealizarion,depersonalization,utter detachment from myself and reality, extreme hopelessness, feel like I'm unable to believe or have hope anymore.........this is what I deal with on a daily basis totally againts my will.......this is what makes it hard.........I HAVE NO CONTROLE OVER THIS AND I ABSOLUTELY HATE OT WITH A PASSION!!!!!! It won't leave no matter what............Due to 7 yrs of blasphemous thoughts I know feel possessed! I hate this with a passion but yet something try to convince me that I love these blasphemous thoughts and feelings.........in when the horrible feelings come it brings an irritation feeling over me while at same time I have urges to curse in my head.........totally helpless I give in this it constantly ruins my day............because of this I also suffer from extreme anhedonia which means loss of all feeling and emotion........... sometimes I can feel hope but as soon as I began to feel like my natural self immediately my mind begins to curse uncontrollabley Conjuring up the most wicked phrases sentences that you could imagine! Then like clock work despondency, Hopeless, blasphemy overwhelme me once again! Holding me against my will once again in a dark lonely prison cell with no hope! It seems my body cannot feel the way it used to feel it's addicted to feeling this nonsense of which I have no control over!

 

[Mari17]

The thoughts are one thing but the feelings of severe detachment and hopelessness is going to drive me to a mental hospital! I have not felt the peecence of God in long time which I feel like king saul now...........severe Derealizarion,depersonalization,utter detachment from myself and reality, extreme hopelessness, feel like I'm unable to believe or have hope anymore.........this is what I deal with on a daily basis totally againts my will.......this is what makes it hard.........I HAVE NO CONTROLE OVER THIS AND I ABSOLUTELY HATE OT WITH A PASSION!!!!!! It won't leave no matter what............Due to 7 yrs of blasphemous thoughts I know feel possessed! I hate this with a passion but yet something try to convince me that I love these blasphemous thoughts and feelings.........in when the horrible feelings come it brings an irritation feeling over me while at same time I have urges to curse in my head.........totally helpless I give in this it constantly ruins my day............because of this I also suffer from extreme anhedonia which means loss of all feeling and emotion........... sometimes I can feel hope but as soon as I began to feel like my natural self immediately my mind begins to curse uncontrollabley Conjuring up the most wicked phrases sentences that you could imagine! Then like clock work despondency, Hopeless, blasphemy overwhelme me once again! Holding me against my will once again in a dark lonely prison cell with no hope! It seems my body cannot feel the way it used to feel it's addicted to feeling this nonsense of which I have no control over!

Have you been able to find an OCD therapist yet?

 

[zachariahjosephturner]

Have you been able to find an OCD therapist yet?

No I haven't unfortunately

 

[evidenceofdesign]

Brother Joseph,

This battle is hard, I know. I’m also going through this and by God’s grace it’s towards our salvation and growth. God is forever faithful and He never abandons His children.

Isaiah 49 says:
15 “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast
and have no compassion on the child she has borne?
Though she may forget,
I will not forget you!
16 See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;
your walls are ever before me.

Beloved, Jesus died so we can rest in His work, not ours. That’s His grace, mercy and rest.

Hebrews 4 says:
9 There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; 10 for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from their works just as God did from his.

And Romans 4 says:
4 Now to the one who works, wages are not credited as a gift but as an obligation. 5 However, to the one who does not work but trusts God who justifies the ungodly, their faith is credited as righteousness.

John 1 says:
12 But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name:
13 Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.

The key is faith, which the Devil knows he can shake by getting you to think you keep your salvation by your ability to keep certains thoughts or sins from entering your mind.

But Scripture says in Romans 7:

14 We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.

And again, Scripture reinforces in Romans 7:

20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

The good news is:

Romans 7:24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? 25 Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

Romans 8:1
8 There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.

May I encourage you to read all of Romans through, and if you also have the time to take the Romans pilgrimage with Derek Prince:

Grace and peace from our Lord Jesus Christ, brother!

 

[Mari17]

Have you been able to find an OCD therapist yet?

In what ways have you looked for one? (e.g. online search, etc.)