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Blasphemous thoughts about the Holy Spirit

Discussion in 'Obsessive Compulsive Disorder' started by Job405, Sep 7, 2020.

  1. Berry Berry

    Berry Berry New Member

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    I actually felt the same thing in my heart and it felt so real. One time I was praying in church and one of the ladies was being filled by the spirit. And while I was praying and crying to God thought and words came to me and I cant even write it here because it's dirty and demonic and my heart felt like it was from me and when I confessed it to God I was so shameful and it was painful to have to admit to God that my mind came up with those words. I felt like I have no chance in heaven at all and I am scared to go to Hell but there's a part of me that says "i deserve it because of the things I've done to God" and now I feel more miserable and hopeless. I know God loves me and I try my best everytime to be optimistic that "if you really blasphemed the spirit of God, you wouldn't care by now" but I also have doubt that the reason why I care is no because of God's conviction (a result of my blasphemous thoughts) but because of my anxiety having a mental disorder diagnosed just recently in 2020. I am stuck and scared but part of me doesn't want to be scared but how would I know if this feelinh of not being concerned is from me, satan or God himself. I am confused and hopeless. I love God and I just recently came back to Him. I just started being intimate with Him again after months of backsliding in heart and being lukewarm and a hypocrite in faith but now I feel like I really did something aweful because in my heart, I felt that the thought came from me because I felt something weird like a thorn coming out from me and I am scared that by having this feeling, I blasphemed God's Holy Spirit. I am troubled and scared.help I don't know what to do and I feel like I'm losing myself and I am scared that I might be crazy
     
  2. Berry Berry

    Berry Berry New Member

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    My mind is tricking me making me look like I am really the one who is thinking it (randomly) and it deceives me for telling me that it was my own voice and that's the desire of my heart of my heart. The devil knows a lot of verses and he's using it against me to condemn me. I am stuck between being an optimist and assured that I havent committed blasphemy because I still have concern about it but at the same time I am anxious "maybe because I am not concerned is due to the fact that I have really done it and the conviction is not in me anymore"
     
  3. TenthAveN

    TenthAveN Puppies are an acceptable form of currency.

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    Berry, I’ve had that same fear before. Your OCD is going to give you any reason to not think it’s OCD, because it never wants you to have assurance. There may be times when you just wear yourself out and you don’t seem to feel anything. This goes to show you that feelings aren’t truth, but the Word of God is. Accepting that feelings are not a good gauge of your relationship with God is difficult, quite so for me. Just read 1 John 1:9, as has been recommended to me. I hope you get to feeling better.
     
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2021
  4. Mari17

    Mari17 Well-Known Member

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    This sounds very much like intrusive thoughts caused by OCD. What mental disorder were you diagnosed with?
     
  5. Job405

    Job405 Jesus Christ Matters Supporter

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    I once had a thought that was extremely bad, like so wicked. I was on a Zoom conference call with my church and they were explaining biblical salvation to the group. I was at the time fearing for my salvation, and I had this wicked thought "I'm going to hell and I hope my brothers and sisters go with me" ... what happened after that was that I felt the Holy Spirit's effect on me go away. When they were talking about scripture in the Zoom conference call I felt like it was ridiculous words on a paper, like I saw it from the lens of a non-believer. I no longer saw the scripture as God's word. I got scared, put the microphone on mute, prayed and quickly repented of this evil thought. I now started to view the scriptures as Holy again.

    The Holy Spirit truly does so much for us, we cannot even believe that Jesus is the Son of God without the Holy Spirit. We can't see the Holiness of the scriptures without Him, the gospel is foolishness to them that perish. We cannot even repent without Him. NOTHING is possible without the Holy Spirit, He is our connection to God.

    If you can still say Jesus is Lord and the Son of God, if you believe the gospel, and you see the Bible scriptures as the word of God, then I think you are still OK with God. Just pray, confess and repent of any wicked thoughts, God is just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
     
  6. Litpath

    Litpath New Member

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    No unfortunately :/ Not at least when I was young.
     
  7. Mari17

    Mari17 Well-Known Member

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    I don't know much about dealing with trauma, but I'm willing to talk about the OCD part if you want. I've learned a lot about OCD over the years of dealing with it, so if you are looking for resources (websites etc.) to help learn about it and how to treat it, or if you would like me to share any of the things I've learned, I'd be happy to do that!
     
  8. Mia Asa

    Mia Asa New Member

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    I know these thoughts so well.
    When i go to sleep i try to think something kind prehaphs about paradise or sea then it's beginning God is... Jesus is...... And i woke up at the morning i heard same. It's haunting me. I love God and Jesus so much i don't wanna left them.
     
  9. Mia Asa

    Mia Asa New Member

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    I know.
    Sometimes i wanna end me too.
    My head has hurting thoughts about God and Jesus, Holy Spirt. Everyday i scream in my mind to God or Jesus "Heeeelp Meee"
     
  10. Mia Asa

    Mia Asa New Member

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    Your comment makes me wanna cry. I has got too. It's hurting me so much. Sometimes i think it's a bad dream. My life suck and sick i have no job, i have no friends . I had lost my hope to be happy and free and to be sure. I see i'm not alone with this problem. Everyday please Jesus don't leave me.
     
  11. zachariahjosephturner

    zachariahjosephturner Jesus saves

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  12. Arrows

    Arrows New Member

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  13. Arrows

    Arrows New Member

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    Regarding the Holy Spirit, ask yourself, what are your sincere intentions. The Spirit knows.
     
  14. RemiB.

    RemiB. New Member

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    Hey Job, I wanted to update you. It took a few months for me and a lot of prayers to win the battle. Every now and then, it comes but not like it once was last year. When you pray, do you ask God to quiet your mind?
     
  15. Job405

    Job405 Jesus Christ Matters Supporter

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    Congratulations I am happy you are restored. During prayer my mind is often quiet.
     
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