Black fathers are failing black communities.

[bèlla]

Racism isn’t responsible for someone having unprotected sex in today’s culture when birth control and pregnancy prevention instruction is plentiful. Allowing yourself to be impregnated is a choice. Period tracker apps tell you when you’re ovulating. There’s no excuse.

~Bella

 

[MDC]

My very liberal daughter and I sometimes have this conversation. When I ask her what I'm personally supposed to do about it she tells me to at least have empathy towards them. I tell her that, not being black, I can't walk in their shoes. The best I can do is make recommendations for beneficial behavioral changes.

I respect that. I believe she’s right about trying to empathize. But I know many whites cannot in certain ways because they cannot walk in our shoes. I was a product of such behavior and being 45 years old now, I just met my biological black father 5 years ago. Circumstances on why he left I won’t go into. But I know this is a big issue within black communities. I have 5 kids of my own now and teach them the Godly way of raising a family. That’s all we can do and pray that they won’t repeat such wicked behavior

 

[SummerMadness]

Ah, the absent black father myth...

Black Dads Are Doing Best of All

It has always seemed to me that embedded in the “If only black men would marry the women they have babies with…” rhetoric was a more insidious suggestion: that there is something fundamental, and intrinsic about black men that is flawed, that black fathers are pathologically prone to desertion of their offspring and therefore largely responsible for black community “dysfunction.”

There is an astounding amount of mythology loaded into this stereotype, one that echoes a history of efforts to rob black masculinity of honor and fidelity.

First, there are a growing number of people who live together but don’t marry. Those mothers are still single, even though the child’s father may be in the home. And, as The Washington Post reported last year:

“The share of unmarried couples who opted to have ‘shotgun cohabitations’ — moving in together after a pregnancy — surpassed ‘shotgun marriages’ for the first time during the last decade, according to a forthcoming paper from the National Center for Health Statistics, part of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.”

In fact, a C.D.C. report issued in December 2013 found that black fathers were the most involved with their children daily, on a number of measures, of any other group of fathers — and in many cases, that was among fathers who didn’t live with their children, as well as those who did.

That's the trouble with myths, even when shown to not be true, it is still repeated. I expect it to be repeated on this very forum in the near future.

 

[bèlla]

That stigma is prevalent today because Society has moved further and further away from God, the Moral fabric of our Society is in tatters because of it.

Much of this comes down to values and parenting styles. My daughter was given a message on acceptable behavior and companions at a young age. It was reinforced through her youth. We don’t do that is ingrained. There must be a personal and familial ethos you don’t transgress.

We can’t overlook influences in the home and our connections. What message is being conveyed to the child through your behavior and the company you keep? That holds true as adults.

For us, legacy is the avenue for spiritual fulfillment and the pursuit of purpose. The goal is providing a structure that enables every member to do so without encumbrance.

Everyone has a part and the interconnectedness is evident. It isn’t a question that someone marries. But how the union furthers His aim and the familial quest in tandem.

A strong family unit is a must. But that doesn’t happen on its own. You have to put the right pieces in place to develop it. Every one doesn’t have that mindset or conviction. They’re self-driven and unsuitable alliances. That truth must be well formed if you want a healthy line that flourishes.

~Bella