Bizarre belief, whats happening

[Jerry Stout]

Ive lived with OCD and Schizophrenia most of my life, and have all sorts of intrusive thoughts and voices. The voices usually talk about how "evil" or "wicked" I am, tell me im going to hell and theres nothing i can do...if i try to read the Bible or pray, the voices tell me im just i denial. Its very troubling. They tell me its too late

But heres the odd beliefs im experiencing, ive heard the voices say things like "oh if you only knew what you are..." or other phrases trying to indicate that im somehow "special"...the voices do act like im somehow special, but NOT in a good way at all. They say it has something to do with "timelines" and that since i live in the middle of America im somehow like the "sender outer" or "the corrupter", like im the leader of the bad people...its really bizarre, is there such a person? What is causing these beliefs?

 

[Lavaduder]

How is it too late for what timelines? Also I've never heard the term "sender outer".

 

[Jerry Stout]

Well they say ive done too much damage to my soul, from evil thinking, and now its impossible to repent and im damned no matter what i do, which is scary enough...

But the voices also try to imply that im like some kind of pure evil person, like im the center of corruption in America, and the people i interact with i corrupt morally and "send them out" kind of like a bubble with me as the center and evil like radiates from me. I hope to the Lord Jesus Christ its just a delusion or some kind of mental health issue, because otherwise i meet a terrible fate, ive even heard the voices say "hes PROUD of his position", like im the prime evil or something, im terrified

 

[Mark Quayle]

Well they say ive done too much damage to my soul, from evil thinking, and now its impossible to repent and im damned no matter what i do, which is scary enough...

But the voices also try to imply that im like some kind of pure evil person, like im the center of corruption in America, and the people i interact with i corrupt morally and "send them out" kind of like a bubble with me as the center and evil like radiates from me. I hope to the Lord Jesus Christ its just a delusion or some kind of mental health issue, because otherwise i meet a terrible fate, ive even heard the voices say "hes PROUD of his position", like im the prime evil or something, im terrified

Start memorizing Scripture. This life is about Christ —not about you (and certainly not about the voices). The world does not revolve around you. Use Scripture to keep your keel straight.

BTW, in all this, like with Job, God is using you for his purposes, no matter how hard it is to deal with. Thank him and ask him for relief, and keep asking. A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out.

 

[Jerry Stout]

Start memorizing Scripture. This life is about Christ —not about you (and certainly not about the voices). The world does not revolve around you. Use Scripture to keep your keel straight.

BTW, in all this, like with Job, God is using you for his purposes, no matter how hard it is to deal with. Thank him and ask him for relief, and keep asking. A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out.

 

[Jerry Stout]

Thank you my friend, those are very comforting words, im scared of just giving into the thoughts and voices and losing my humanity. Ive been reading the Bible a lot lately and i think, with proper meds and therapy, i may make a full recovery

 

[Unqualified]

Ive lived with OCD and Schizophrenia most of my life, and have all sorts of intrusive thoughts and voices. The voices usually talk about how "evil" or "wicked" I am, tell me im going to hell and theres nothing i can do...if i try to read the Bible or pray, the voices tell me im just i denial. Its very troubling. They tell me its too late

But heres the odd beliefs im experiencing, ive heard the voices say things like "oh if you only knew what you are..." or other phrases trying to indicate that im somehow "special"...the voices do act like im somehow special, but NOT in a good way at all. They say it has something to do with "timelines" and that since i live in the middle of America im somehow like the "sender outer" or "the corrupter", like im the leader of the bad people...its really bizarre, is there such a person? What is causing these beliefs?

you can’t let these voices control you, do what you know is right and ignore them. Better yet take them captive as in 2cor10:3-5.
Their useless but want to be the center of your attention. But you have bigger ideas: reading you bible, following Jesus, going to church. I’ve taken mine captive for years, I don’t let them stop me, I persevere to accomplish what God wants me to accomplish. I tell you it’s a miracle. I don’t have to let them triumph over me.

 

[Gottservant]

Jesus said John the Baptist was the same thing as Elijah - so people do have historic lineages.

Also, Jesus talked about levels of influence - that people could kill the body, but that there is also someone who can destroy the soul (as well as the body): meaning that your identity can be real in a number of different contexts (and changing in whichever context your identity is found).

That said, have you tried just speaking back to the voices, in the same voice as you hear in your head? I struggled with something I said for a long time, until I realized "I'm afraid what the Devil will say, why don't I just speak over the top of the Devil and put it behind me" so I said "Yes I am the Devil, but I don't want what you are offering, keep it, in Jesus' Name Amen" - you know, to myself. In like manner you could say "Yes, I am the Voice, but I don't want you to feel hurt, I will go away in Jesus' Name Amen"?

You have an identity and your voice is power, that's all I'm trying to say.

 

[Unqualified]

What beliefs? Don’t believe any thing like that your mind tells you.

 

[Jaxxi]

Well they say ive done too much damage to my soul, from evil thinking, and now its impossible to repent and im damned no matter what i do, which is scary enough...

But the voices also try to imply that im like some kind of pure evil person, like im the center of corruption in America, and the people i interact with i corrupt morally and "send them out" kind of like a bubble with me as the center and evil like radiates from me. I hope to the Lord Jesus Christ its just a delusion or some kind of mental health issue, because otherwise i meet a terrible fate, ive even heard the voices say "hes PROUD of his position", like im the prime evil or something, im terrified

I had a friend on here that was experiencing something very similar and after speaking with him I encouraged him to go and get baptized to see if it changed anything and the results were amazing! To our surprise, he felt incredible once he got it done and the voices stopped altogether. He was so shocked and said it gave him much needed relief - we still concluded that he was schizophrenic, but may have been getting picked on, or was having his illness exploited. I cannot tell you what to do, but that was his outcome. God bless you, and know there is literally only one sin that cannot be forgiven. All the rest are respectable if you have a sincere heart, and strive for purity.