Bishop’s decree: Stop holding hands during the Our Father...

[Fantine]

That's al well and good, and I don't have a problem with charismatics per se, but I know that when I am closest to God, I and still, silent, humble and obedient. in addition, I know that when I am silent and solemn, there is no risk of me causing my neighbor to break their concentration on the Lord. I do not wish to cause another to lose focus.

That's exactly it. You haven't really abandoned yourself if you're thinking about the needs or the reactions of the people around you.

I, too, am more likely to close my eyes and shut the world out when I am deep in prayer. Since I often play the organ, once or twice I have come close to missing my cue, and there has been a 2-3 second lapse (which, in retrospect, seems like an eternity to me.)

But it's probably those times that I'm most in the moment.

 

[lindart]

The only thing that I am uncomfortable with at Mass is the sign of peace when everyone shakes hands. I have sweaty hands and yet, I don't want to come across as unfriendly. It would be in the interest of health and sweaty palms if the Church did away with this.

 

[Catherineanne]

That's exactly it. You haven't really abandoned yourself if you're thinking about the needs or the reactions of the people around you.

I, too, am more likely to close my eyes and shut the world out when I am deep in prayer. Since I often play the organ, once or twice I have come close to missing my cue, and there has been a 2-3 second lapse (which, in retrospect, seems like an eternity to me.)

But it's probably those times that I'm most in the moment.

Last Sunday at Mass there was a lady sitting in the seat but one from me, who did her best to be helpful. Seeing me standing there with my eyes closed she thought I didn't know the page in the service book, so she took my book, opened it to the right page, nudged me on the arm to wake me up and handed it to me. I didn't know what was happening; it really startled me.

Then a couple of minutes later she did the same again with the hymnbook. Eventually she realised that I disappear into my own little world, and left me alone, but it took a while. I really wanted to tell her to leave me alone, but she was not to know. So every time I just smiled and said thank you, and took the book from her. Then after the service I said she was very caring, and that I appreciated her finding the pages for me.

I hated it and just wanted to be left alone, but if I had been someone new to the church then what she did would have been perfectly right, and she was not to know. If we worship alongside other people, then they are sometimes going to intrude, and no doubt we will intrude on them as well.

 

[Catherineanne]

The only thing that I am uncomfortable with at Mass is the sign of peace when everyone shakes hands. I have sweaty hands and yet, I don't want to come across as unfriendly. It would be in the interest of health and sweaty palms if the Church did away with this.

Fortunately my priest doesn't like all the handshaking, so we don't do that. Some people miss it, but I don't.

 

[Michie]

When we had Mass at the nursing home yesterday I asked my priest about this. He basically said that no it is not called for but unless the Bishop calls for an end to it, people can do as they please as far as holding hands or raising hands during the Our Father.

 

[lindart]

Last Sunday at Mass there was a lady sitting in the seat but one from me, who did her best to be helpful. Seeing me standing there with my eyes closed she thought I didn't know the page in the service book, so she took my book, opened it to the right page, nudged me on the arm to wake me up and handed it to me. I didn't know what was happening; it really startled me.

Then a couple of minutes later she did the same again with the hymnbook. Eventually she realised that I disappear into my own little world, and left me alone, but it took a while. I really wanted to tell her to leave me alone, but she was not to know. So every time I just smiled and said thank you, and took the book from her. Then after the service I said she was very caring, and that I appreciated her finding the pages for me.

I hated it and just wanted to be left alone, but if I had been someone new to the church then what she did would have been perfectly right, and she was not to know. If we worship alongside other people, then they are sometimes going to intrude, and no doubt we will intrude on them as well.

This post really had me laughing as I was picturing this. I remember doing this to my distracted kids. But a woman doing this to an adult? We know whent someone needs help finding a page because the questioning, searching eyes is our clue. In the absence of this, I say that lady was somewhat out of line.

Catherineanne, thanks for my daily chuckle.

 

[Catherineanne]

This post really had me laughing as I was picturing this. I remember doing this to my distracted kids. But a woman doing this to an adult? We know whent someone needs help finding a page because the questioning, searching eyes is our clue. In the absence of this, I say that lady was somewhat out of line.

Catherineanne, thanks for my daily chuckle.

I can understand that! I found myself wanting to both laugh and cry at the same time. But you really can't be cross with someone who wants to help you find your way around a service, can you?

 

[sylverpiano]

When we had Mass at the nursing home yesterday I asked my priest about this. He basically said that no it is not called for but unless the Bishop calls for an end to it, people can do as they please as far as holding hands or raising hands during the Our Father.

Hi there, Michie!

I don't have a problem with other people holding hands. Whatever gives them comfort during prayer is O.K. by me. I just have an aversion to strangers touching me, and would rather not hold hands with someone I do not know well.

I also do not like people at Church who want to hug me as a sign of peace. I almost always sit way in the back right hand corner of the church, away from where most people sit.

Yes, I know this is rather neurotic, but it is just the way I am.

 

[Michie]

Hi there, Michie!

I don't have a problem with other people holding hands. Whatever gives them comfort during prayer is O.K. by me. I just have an aversion to strangers touching me, and would rather not hold hands with someone I do not know well.

I also do not like people at Church who want to hug me as a sign of peace. I almost always sit way in the back right hand corner of the church, away from where most people sit.

Yes, I know this is rather neurotic, but it is just the way I am.

I'm sort of the same way. I try to buck up for it though as I know it does give some comfort.

Never had anyone try to hug me though.

 

[MikeK]

I'm sort of the same way. I try to buck up for it though as I know it does give some comfort.

Never had anyone try to hug me though.

Usually I just give a wink and a good-natured slap on the butt.


I with that the sign of peace would be moved to the beginning of Mass or removed altogether. I don't mind shaking stranger's hands, but I think it disrupts what should be a solemn service.

 

[ZooMom]

I have never liked the holding of hands during the Our Father, for several reasons, none of which has to do with the GIRM. But, because my family takes up an entire pew by ourselves, it is rarely an issue. We taught the kids from the beginning to fold their hands, bow their heads, and close their eyes when praying. Rarely will someone disturb you from this posture. However, praying with ones hands open and at waist level is going to be seen as an invitation (to most people) that you'd like for someone to take your hand.

My biggest confusion over the whole thing is the fact that if it is supposed to be a gesture of 'community'...why does everyone drop hands before the end of the prayer? And why do I see people who are holding hands with their family, but not with their neighbor? It's just odd to me.

 

[Winter]

This hand thing is American. When I lived in Italy we never held hands or kept our hands open. It has to just be cultural. Perhaps more of a Protestant influence? I don't know.

 

[ZooMom]

Usually I just give a wink and a good-natured slap on the butt.


I with that the sign of peace would be moved to the beginning of Mass or removed altogether. I don't mind shaking stranger's hands, but I think it disrupts what should be a solemn service.

At the parish here they do both. A 'turn around and greet your neighbor' right before the Mass begins...and then wish the very same people Peace in the middle of the Mass. It's redundant.

 

[WarriorAngel]

A sign of peace would be great at the beginning.
I can remember my mom hating it. And she would refuse to shake hands. Except when her children would nag.

The orans stance - open hands at waist level just bugs me...i dont know why. Its new and its unusual and it seems to put the lay person in the place of the priest who does this to be inclusive as our shepherd.

I close my eyes now - or most of the time to avoid it so i can concentrate. Its very difficult to see it and concentrate and it takes me peace and that is my own fault.

 

[Fantine]

I like holding hands during the Our Father. I think I've told you why already, but it bears repeating.

I sang with the choir at my son's confirmation. The choir always held hands during the Our Father. I really felt the power of the Holy Spirit when we were saying the Our Father.

My brother was my son's sponsor. He had been diagnosed with MS. His condition had worsened in the year since his diagnosis, and when he flew out my heart broke to see this.

I made a fervent prayer to the Holy Spirit to heal my brother. When he walked by the choir after Communion, he walked perfectly--no limp. He stayed in remission for several years. Even now, many years later, he is doing much better than he might have been otherwise, although the illness has had some effect.

Yes, the power of the Holy Spirit was there anyway....but would I have recognized it? Would I have called out to God to heal my brother? Would God have been so busy doing other things that He wouldn't have performed that minor miracle? Was God waiting for someone to ask?

If you were becoming progressively disabled, and by some minor miracle, enjoyed a few more years of perfect health, would that not have been a priceless treasure?

Not to mention how this increased my own faith and the faith of those who shared this experience with me.

No, I was not holding hands with strangers....

And I can understand the reluctance of people to hold hands with strangers.

 

[AMDG]

'turn around and greet your neighbor' right before the Mass begins....

I remember a parish that did this. I had a broken finger and the person who grabbed my hand and squeezed and probably the rest of the congregation knew about it in that moment. Made for a very interesting Mass.

 

[Gwendolyn]

In the ancient church, the sign of peace/greet your neighbour was before mass.

 

[Michie]

In the ancient church, the sign of peace/greet your neighbour was before mass.

Why was it changed?

 

[Martinius]

And I can understand the reluctance of people to hold hands with strangers.

I dislike being touched, especially by strangers.

Two questions are prompted by comments like these.

One, How can anyone in your own church be a "stranger"? To me, they are friends, neighbors and fellow worshippers you just haven't met yet.

Two, what if that "stranger" was Jesus? Would you refuse to let Jesus take your hand?

At our parish, most people hold hands at the Our Father. Most, but not all. I always hold my hand out for the person next to me to take (I am already holding my wife's hand on the other side). Often, I can already tell that they will do so. If they don't, that's perfectly fine. Most of the time, they purposely reach for my hand, and usually smile at me when doing so (I smile back). Then I feel not only connected with Jesus, but also as one with my fellow worshippers. I have absolutely no doubt that the disciples of Jesus did something like that when they gathered together in prayer, praise and song.

 

[AMDG]

Two, what if that "stranger" was Jesus? Would you refuse to let Jesus take your hand?

I would bet everything that I had (and I'm not a betting person) that Jesus would *not* suddenly and gruffly grab someones hand (without permission). Somehow I get the feeling that He's too much of a gentleman to roughly impose His will on another. He's compassionate. My broken finger would have been safe from even more pain if the stranger had been Jesus. You know, sometimes people carry injuries (or scars from injuries) that aren't readily seen by even those standing right next to them.)