Birth Control

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PetertheRock

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I have a question about birth control. Obviously, the Catholic Church is against it but I don't understand why a married couple can't use birth control so they don't have children. Sex after marriage is not wrong. It's a fact of life that some people can't afford children or can't afford more children so why wouldn't the Church allow contraception for married couple who shouldn't/can't have any more children?

Darryl
 

Cjwinnit

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Aerometis said:
Sex after marriage is not wrong. It's a fact of life that some people can't afford children or can't afford more children so why wouldn't the Church allow contraception for married couple who shouldn't/can't have any more children?

Darryl

Actually there is no sex after marriage as there is no sex in heaven.
 
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D'Ann

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Aerometis said:
I have a question about birth control. Obviously, the Catholic Church is against it but I don't understand why a married couple can't use birth control so they don't have children. Sex after marriage is not wrong. It's a fact of life that some people can't afford children or can't afford more children so why wouldn't the Church allow contraception for married couple who shouldn't/can't have any more children?

Darryl

Hi Darryl,

Many people have asked those same questions. I also did when I first became Catholic. What helped me to have a deeper grasp and understanding about the CC teachings regarding birth control was reading Kimberly Hahn's book on this issue.

In essence of the book... she does clarify the following:

1. Babies are a gift from God.

2. We trust God to take care of the sparrows and yet we do not trust him to know what is right for us ... regarding when we should have children or how many we should have?

3. When some type of BC's are used, it does cause a type of abortion... destruction of life.

4. What a husband and wife share together initmately was a gift from God to create life, not to just be pleasing to each other. Also, for some reason, people have become somewhat selfish and only think of the intimate act and not the reason(s) that God created the intimate act.

I really recommend that you read her book. I promise you, it will clarify all of the reasons that birth control is wrong. It will give you a deeper and more concise understanding on the CC teachings too on this subject.

God's Peace,

D'Ann
 
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Markh

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the logic you give for contraception sounds resonable, however, since our very consciences have been tainted by original sin they cannot be relied upon- we have to look to the Church- who is free from this error to guide us.

But we can as Humanae Vitae did, reach the Church's position through reason if it is done carefully.

Basically we have to ask ourselves- "what is sex for". "What is the role of sex". When we know something's purpose we know when that something is being abused. The Church claims that "contraceptive sex" is an abuse of sex (in the way it is meant to be).

So "what is sex for", well, if we look at the act- from the position of science it is "the reproductive act" it is the method by which we create human life. This is the scientific definition of what sex is for- "the reproductive system" not "the pleasure system". However, sex is also an expression of love between to married people in which they are united intimately to become 1 body.

The Church through much more complex reasoning concludes that sex- the meaning of sex, the built in, hard wired function of sex is to be "unitative and procreative". If we look at the act objectively we can see that that is clearly the way God designed the act to be.

In using contraception we willfully go againts God's natural law, we slap God in the face and tell him that we know better and can perfect the body from his design flaw.

We block the procreative function of sex when we use contraception. It becomes an abuse of the act God designed. But- Why is this terrible? Well, in removing the procreative function sex becomes simply about pleasure and no longer about giving and creating.

Sex becomes selfish, just like Adam and Eve selfishly covered up themselves in the garden when they knew they were naked and that this nakedness was something the other person wanted.

Sex once it is against procreation is a selfish act, and we all know that "Love is not selfish". The effects of contraceptive sex for the family are so emperically evident in society.

I don't know the stats off the top of my head- but of the couples who use NFP 1% get divorced in comparison to something much, much higher for those who contracept. When we start acting selfish in the bedroom and using our partners, it spreads to the other realms of life.

Humanae Vitae was very good in saying all of this, but Pope JP2 has tried to make it all much more understandable- his "Theology of the body" explains exactly why contraception in marriage is wrong. I hope someone has eno0ugh time later to look at the argument based around that.
 
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PetertheRock

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Cjwinnit said:
You said sex after marriage. I think you meant sex during marriage..

Yes, I thought it would be clear...After you are married would be after marriage. Obviously once you die, you are no longer married.
 
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PetertheRock

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Thank you D'Ann and Mark. That does make sense. Just the other day I saw a joke that was on this subject...(Obviously this was about a protestant minister)

A minister and his wife was having a second baby when he went to the church and told them he couldn't raise another kid with the money the church was paying him. So the Congregation decided that for each baby the minister had they would raise his salary by a certain amount.

So after the 6th baby the Congregation got together with the minister and was discussing how this is becoming a bit too much for the church to afford. The minister said, "But babies are a gift from God."

Then a voice from the back of the church spoke up and said, "Rain is a gift from God too but when we get too much we put on our rubbers." The whole Congregation let out an "Amen!"

Even though this is a joke I believe this is the reason you will never see Priests allowed to marry. If priests all had wives and kids the Church would have to pay the Priests a livable wage and it would bankrupt the Church.

Darryl
 
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Benedicta00

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Aerometis said:
I have a question about birth control. Obviously, the Catholic Church is against it but I don't understand why a married couple can't use birth control so they don't have children. Sex after marriage is not wrong. It's a fact of life that some people can't afford children or can't afford more children so why wouldn't the Church allow contraception for married couple who shouldn't/can't have any more children?

Darryl
The Church allows a period of abstinence each month during the fertile times if a couple must avoid pregnancy.

There are serious reasons but one has to be honest with themselves, truly honest with themselves and search their hearts before God to see if the reasons are just.
 
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Benedicta00

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Aerometis said:
Thank you D'Ann and Mark. That does make sense. Just the other day I saw a joke that was on this subject...(Obviously this was about a protestant minister)

A minister and his wife was having a second baby when he went to the church and told them he couldn't raise another kid with the money the church was paying him. So the Congregation decided that for each baby the minister had they would raise his salary by a certain amount.

So after the 6th baby the Congregation got together with the minister and was discussing how this is becoming a bit too much for the church to afford. The minister said, "But babies are a gift from God."

Then a voice from the back of the church spoke up and said, "Rain is a gift from God too but when we get too much we put on our rubbers." The whole Congregation let out an "Amen!"

Even though this is a joke I believe this is the reason you will never see Priests allowed to marry. If priests all had wives and kids the Church would have to pay the Priests a livable wage and it would bankrupt the Church.

Darryl
That is sick!

And it is NOT the reason why the Church disallows married clergy.

This congregation lacks a very basics fundamental faith and trust in God.

What I find odd is when they are down to their last penny and there is no food in the house they are encouraged to give it to their church to show their trust and faith that God will provide but they can not put that same kind of faith and trust in God providing for another child if that be his will.

This kind of mentality is a shame.
 
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Skripper

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Aerometis said:
Even though this is a joke I believe this is the reason you will never see Priests allowed to marry. If priests all had wives and kids the Church would have to pay the Priests a livable wage and it would bankrupt the Church.

Darryl

Oh wow . . . you don't really believe this, do you? The Church's teaching on birth control is based on the Natural Law (as Markh already mentioned), not economics.
 
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geocajun

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Aerometis,
The Church teaches that the purpose of marriage is to bring forth children. The Church holds the marital act to be a sacred act which is ordered to both unity and procreation. Neither sides of this can be removed or neglected without making the act disordered, and evil.
For example, rape removes the unitive element of the marital act, and thus is evil.
Contraceptives remove the procreative element and thus are evil as well.
It is a disordered view of marriage to think married folks are able to decide to never have children - that thinking is contrary to the purpose and object of marriage which again, is procreation.
To look at the marital act apart from its life giving purpose is also disordered.
Does that answer your question?
 
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ShannonMcCatholic

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We make not so much (under 30,000 a year) - and just had our fourth little bundle... God does provide, but it takes a HUGE shift in priorities and perspective.

Sex is a two fold act-- one of union between spouses and one of creation (at least in intention of openess to that fact.) Why is this act two-fold?? Because sex is the greatest, most profound expression of the two becoming one flesh. The pinnacle of that union- is indeed a child! As someone who is active in the birth field, where there are LOTS of new agey types- eveb there birth is touted as the highest end of sex- even the physiology of birth speaks of this (the hormones which regulate birth are the same as climax, but in even greater amount)

These two aspects (unitive and creative) cannot be separated- with out also in some sense saying well- the two aren't really one flesh right now.....you can particularly see this with barrier methods of contraception- but it is also emotionally and spiritually true for other methods.
 
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artnalex

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ShannonMcMorland said:
God does provide, but it takes a HUGE shift in priorities and perspective.
Amen!

But that is at the heart of most couples' wish to stop having children. Most couples want to be able to afford luxuries at the cost of having children. Too many couples have been programmed to believe that materialism is part of our culture, and as such, is OK. It's not though, really.

When a couple get marry, they ought to think about how their love can manifest. The most obvious manfestation of their love is a child. It is visible proof. (That is not to take away from those who cannot procreate for some reason or other.) The problem is that many people view children as "something" that will stop them from buying a bigger house, a better car, or a more expensive vacation - rather than what they truly are,... a blessing.

Each time I have had a child I have worried about money. After three children, I am just as broke as I was before I had them.;) Really, now, I am no worse-off than I was before. In fact, I feel as though I am a better person for having had more children, as it makes you concentrate on your children more. Rather than yourself.

Children really don't care if they have new toys or used ones. They only want your love. So any need to have more money is purely for the parents sake, not the childrens - for the most part.
 
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Benedicta00

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Art,

It's funny that you should say that. I have come to know that money is not about how many kids we have or do not have. If we are broke it's not because we have 6 kids, it's because we can’t mange the money we do have properly. Now that I have 6 children to care for, I have come to see how much money went to wasteful spending over the years and that can be sinful. Now that we do have 6 kids we have no choice but to learn how to not waste money on stupid things, so in a way- having 6 kids has blessed us, it keeps us from wasteful spending that causes us to depend on ourselves and not God.

I also believe having these kids over a span of 17 years of marriage kept me married to the man- if I would have stop at 2 like we originally planned to do, we would probably be divorced if I am being honest and because we were forced to be more tolerant of each other for the sake of the kids, we have a much better relationship now.

So the name of the game is total trust that God knows what is best for us and gives us what is for our good, not our determent but he can not give it to us if we do not allow him to.
 
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Cat59

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http://www.ewtn.com/library/ENCYC/P6HUMANA.HTM
It's well worth reading Humanae Vitae to see why the church teaches this. Personally, I think it was a prophetic document.

Upright men can even better convince themselves of the solid grounds on which the teaching of the Church in this field is based, if they care to reflect upon the consequences of methods of artificial birth control. Let them consider, first of all, how wide and easy a road would thus be opened up towards conjugal infidelity and the general lowering of morality. Not much experience is needed in order to know human weakness, and to understand that men—especially the young, who are so vulnerable on this point—have need of encouragement to be faithful to the moral law, so that they must not be offered some easy means of eluding its observance. It is also to be feared that the man, growing used to the employment of anti-conceptive practices, may finally lose respect for the woman and, no longer caring for her physical and psychological equilibrium, may come to the point of considering her as a mere instrument of selfish enjoyment, and no longer as his respected and beloved companion.
Let it be considered also that a dangerous weapon would thus be placed in the hands of those public authorities who take no heed of moral exigencies. Who could blame a government for applying to the solution of the problems of the community those means acknowledged to be licit for married couples in the solution of a family problem? Who will stop rulers from favoring, from even imposing upon their peoples, if they were to consider it necessary, the method of contraception which they judge to be most efficacious? In such a way men, wishing to avoid individual, family, or social difficulties encountered in the observance of the divine law, would reach the point of placing at the mercy of the intervention of public authorities the most personal and most reserved sector of conjugal intimacy.

Consequently, if the mission of generating life is not to be exposed to the arbitrary will of men, one must necessarily recognize insurmountable limits to the possibility of man's domination over his own body and its functions; limits which no man, whether a private individual or one invested with authority, may licitly surpass.
 
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DrBubbaLove

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I heard a local priest speak about contraception being willfully deciding to withhold a part of you from someone. Someone that you have made a promise to both God and to that person to give ALL of yourself to. You are making love, but saying in effect to your mate that they can only have so much of me and no more. It is that aspect I think that makes it more than just a selfish act for pleasure. It is also a breaking of a promise you made to God and your partner, that they could have all of you, that you would give your all to them. And it does promote the thinking that this is My body and it is MY right to choose what to share with my mate, which opens the door for "other" such choices. Once you justify withholding one thing, the logic is laid down to justify something else.

The Priest also compared the choice to Jesus' actions by asking "what if" Jesus had decided to withhold a part of Himself from the sacrifice or from the Eucharist, such that we only got "part" of Him. We are His Bride afterall.
 
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skatepixie

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Natural Family Planning (NFP) is allowed by the Church, is 99% accurate (same as the pill), is safe, has no side effects, and is free of charge. Can anyone explain to me why someone would do otherwise?

I do have a question though. I am on birth control for medical reasons. Basically, I get cramps so bad that I cant even sit up. We tried a ton of things, everything from hot water bottles to heavy pain killers. The pain killers work, but they make me too groggy to study and skate. So, Im now on a pill that makes it so I have 4 periods a year. Im still in the same amount of pain, and I still have to miss school, but not as much as before. Now, Im not having sex, so am I correct in my assumption that what Im doing isnt sinful?
 
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