I love these Jeshu, and I really love the way you depict the "spirit" Lucis. What talent!
I miss writing and such, I seemed to have lost all abilities. Guess God will give it back to me when he so desires. God bless....
Thanks
Please don't give-up on expression DS it is most important!
I learned to understand in my depression that confusion ruled a lot, so I starting writing things down - at first just words to express what was taking place but later I learned to write most of it - for years - whenever I could - whatever was hurting me and attacking me - expressing how I felt and watching how I went during such times - it worked like a treat - for after I was enabled to forgive myself - and repented of my self hate not forgiving myself for going mad all the time - all that data really began to work for me instead of against me.
Though I admit it was hard at times and not everything I got down, still after a few years of recording difficult times, I began to understand what was really going wrong and began to get the ability to do something about it. (Letting the bible teach me - through the Spirit of forgiving love - about what all lived in my heart for example! )
This is also where you struggle dear sister!
For like all of us that struggle with depression, you also heed inner voices and thoughts that gossip and accuse you, (Satan or The Dragon is behind all that!) and then you heed fear, despair, hopelessness and misery (The false prophet is hiding here!) and let low-self-esteem/self hate fry your identity as a good person.(The punishment on the wicked falls on you for they are hiding in your spirit.) Of course when your illness brings you depression then such inner darkness pounds you and your fears grill you as The Dragon devours your good life - unable to escape the carnage lying evil wrought inside of you.(Rev 17)
(If you find it hard to believe that we get the punishment of the wicked when they conquer us - that's when we follow them willingly or unwillingly - then look at what happens in your heart and mind when you read God's punishments on the evildoers - especially when you read Romans 1 & 2 - for example - or - REV chapters 8-20 - and you will see even better what I mean!)
Take those scorpion stings in Rev 8 for example - each time darkness throws a horrible accusation or thoughts about us at us - it hurts like terrible and yet we take it in and refuse to stop heeding lies hurting us, oh how hard it is to escape such onslaughts when our loveless hearts agree or we have given our love to wrong?
Or ponder on the fact that the false prophet whispers and spooks - his speculative or gossiping thoughts and ideas about us (or others) into our ear - and we eat such lies without a second thought about the truth of it - oh does such bring on those frogs croaking their wicked spells on us - making us loose our good life? (Rev 16)
Or when the Beasts - firstly the Beast of The Sea - exploring everything within us, using our worldly mind, and then the Beast of The Earth - using our fleshly needs and desires to captivate us - stripping our inner world bare doing so - and polluting it with poisonous crap - those
constant demands we conform, do better, follow the rules,
work harder, stop doing 'unacceptable thing's and do what everyone else does and is also stuck with, in other words to be like everyone else e.t.c.
And so those 2 Beasts number everything inside - labelling it good or bad - and if we don't conform then we are persecuted and often killed in that part of self, merely for daring to be ourselves.(Rev 14-15)
When you see that such things are also taking place inside of you REJOICE AND BE EXCEEDINGLY GLAD - for the days of your deliverance is at hand! (Though we MUST remember GRACE in faith before we will be able to break free from God's wrath on that loveless and truth-less spirituality dwelling inside of us.)
So please remember D.S you are beloved of God - thinking evil things about you (or others) hurts God, yourself and all Creation enormously, and must stop. Those evildoers in your spirit must be thrown out, so you can be mentyally ill without them captialising on it and enslaving, imprisoning, oppressing and killing you to their doom and gloom.
So please only eat God's loving truth and refuse to eat anything else!
A poem depicting my battle with hell!
Ruptured
(Reflecting Hebrews 4:1-12)
I thought I been a good person all my life
yet I was also stuck with cold loveless strife
for much in me had little faith in God's grace
as my loveless ways had kept me from His Face.
In my bad life I was untrue and insincere
weak and hopelessly overcome by my fear
I didn't believe God would love me as well
always believing what the inner liars tell.
Oh these massive hailstones pounding me
considering how bad I had turned out to be
fire and brimstone following my inner despair
for of loving truth I hadn't taken any care.
Where is your God my tormentors jeered
the bottomless pit opening as they sneered
my good life stolen from me as I fell down
my godlessness now with misery me to drown!
Unbearable was the agony as I met sinners fate
flames of torment untrue and loveless sin berate
self hate upping the temperature so very high
gnashing of teeth and wailing my constant cry
And so I languish in torment pondering my fate
still wondering how come I had been to late
doubting unbelief and unforgiven sin my misery
As I watched myself turn completely ungodly.
My Hell was an
Endless Torturous Night.
that comes to all with bad life inside
where one's untrue and loveless deeds
now constant fire and brimstone reaps.
After seven years The Truth came down to me
for only God's Grace could reach into my misery
and so my bad life the goats in charge could keep
As Jesus came and collected me in all my sheep.
Awakened to the truth I arose from the dead
God's breath of loving truth entering me instead
a fast army arose as Ezekiel prophesied to my soul
His blinding light directing me to my new goal.
And so I flew up to meet Him in the wink of an eye
Heart piercing wails from the rule of the lie
raging Hell poured down on where I had been
Father' holy wrath burning evil so very mean.
Jesus beaming smile betrayed no harm
will for wrong simply died in His loving charm
and so He also baptised me with holy fire
His loving truth tending my every hearts desire.
144,000 holy ones Jesus brought from above
rebuilding my heart in His Kingdom of love
teaching me The Way to do things right
forever denying evil wrong ruling me inside.
He asked me, 
