Rising Tree said:
I'm with you. That was a terrific post by mollyj.
Here's my take on what the Bible has to say about divorce. As far as I understand it, the Bible condones divorceless separation if the situation has decayed so badly that one spouse simply cannot live with the other. Marriage is for life; living together is not. Also, note that the only one of the four gospels that mentions the possibility of divorce for unfaithfulness is Matthew, the gospel written to the Jews. The three gospels written to the gentiles mention no exceptions. Another point to keep in mind is that the Jews practiced the tradition of betrothal IIRC. The ties in betrothal were strong, even stronger than in engagement, second only to marriage itself. This exception clause was targeted at betrothal, not marriage.
Cammie, before I say anything to you, know that I do not claim to understand your situation or comprehend the sheer terror that you had to deal with as a child. Nobody should have to deal with that as a child. As for your mother's decision to divorce, I think she picked the lesser of two evils. You have to deal with the pain of divorce but not the trauma of an abusive father. I would not necessarily have recommended re-marriage for your mom, but I do wish the best of luck for you all, as I trust that the worst is truly over.
Rising Tree,
The funny thing is that yesterday I had started writing something along the EXACT same lines as what you mentioned in your post, but hadn't finished writing it yet. Funny.
I'm no scholar by any means, but as you mention, technically it looks like divorce (as we define it) isn't permitted
at all biblically! Most people (including me a few months ago) think the "exception clause" gives them a "way out" and although it is
a way out, it's not God's best for us; also, even if it was an "exception clause" for gentiles, that statement was made by Jesus to the
men he was talking to (Jews as you mentioned) concerning their wives, not "men" men and women. This gets back to the theme of this thread.
From Matthew 19:3 (KJV)...
"The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? 4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, 5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. 7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? 8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery."
It's pretty clear how God feels about divorce period, Malachi 2:14...
(This is LITV. "sending away" (or "putting away" in other translations) in verse 16 means divorce; notice the word "hates")
"Yet you say, On what cause? Because Jehovah has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously; and she is your companion and your covenant wife. 15 And has He not made you one? Yet the vestige of the Spirit is in him. And what of the one? He was seeking a seed of God. Then guard your spirit, and do not deal treacherously with the wife of your youth. 16 Jehovah, the God of Israel, says, He hates sending away, and to cover with violence on his garment, says Jehovah of Hosts. Then guard your spirit and do not act treacherously."
This scripture speaks to men being deceptive to their wives in any way and where it leads, and is again addressing men (males, not "men" men and women).
Many times God's way is not the easy way, but it does lead to great blessings and glory to Him. We can't condem or judge folks that have made those decisions because we are not them. We are resposible only for our own actions, and accountable to God for them.
I'm on that road right now with my marriage. I made mistakes. I let my God and my wife down, but I have made changes (glory be to God) and I expect nothing short of a miracle for my marriage, according to God's Word and His promises:
"so shall My Word be, which goes out of My mouth; it shall not return to Me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in what I sent it to do!"
What else do we need?! Woo hoo!
- blitzn