Better Late than Never Journal

[adderbolt]

By definition most all journals are self-serving, so if you need a warning this is it.

My father left me with only one piece of advice and that was, 'Stay out of cathouses'. My advice to my children was a bit different; it was, ' Keep a journal'. My father probably kept his counsel and avoided brothels but I'm coming late to the business of record keeping with this journal.

In 2016 pulmonary fibrosis (no known cure) showed up in my lungs and at the time my prognosis was 3 to 5 years on the clock remaining. It is now 2021 and the time is dwindling.

March 25, 2021 -- Day one:

I'm upbeat -- of course that's redundant -- I'm always upbeat.

Wanting to hire a once-per-week cleaning person - looking for a candidate in order to stay out of the nursing home stream for as long as possible.

Lungs and heart are playing ping pong. I'm on oxygen but my heart is still not getting enough O when I exert myself, like the trivial physical effort to make my bed. So the cardiologist prescribed a nitro under the tongue tablet to quickly work on my angina. That will be delivered this afternoon.

God is so good to me, the least of his children. The gift of peace and being able to rest in the Lord at times overwhelms my senses. 'I will praise the Lord all the days of my life' - Psalm 146.

 

[adderbolt]

Watching a YouTube live feed of the Eyjafjallajökull volcano in Iceland. Incredible viewing: smoke, fire, lava flowing, a mountain tearing itself apart.

"May the glory of the Lord endure forever; may the Lord rejoice in his works, who looks on the earth and it trembles, who touches the mountains and they smoke!" - Psalm 104.

 

[returntosender]

Most of us have miserable lives. I am glad you can be joyful about yours Let us know how we can help?

 

[adderbolt]

Let us know how we can help?

For starters, in the next few weeks, you could develop a working porotype, miniature, out-of-body, artificial lung; one that weighs less than 10 pounds. I'd be ever so grateful because life is way ahead of whatever is in second place. That doesn't mean that my future is black, far from it. It's just that I'm in a rut as this skin and these bones have been my home for so long and I've been so involved in their maintenance.

Although there is that wonder because 'eternity has been set in our hearts'. Myself one of four friends going through school together and me living on the edge and thought to be the first to wink out. But surprise I'm all alone since February of 2020 when the best of us succumbed. And there was an instant twinge of jealousy knowing that he and the other two had direct knowledge of something that existed only in my dreams.

Well thanks -- let me know how my artificial lung is coming along.

 

[returntosender]

For starters, in the next few weeks, you could develop a working porotype, miniature, out-of-body, artificial lung; one that weighs less than 10 pounds. I'd be ever so grateful because life is way ahead of whatever is in second place. That doesn't mean that my future is black, far from it. It's just that I'm in a rut as this skin and these bones have been my home for so long and I've been so involved in their maintenance.

Although there is that wonder because 'eternity has been set in our hearts'. Myself one of four friends going through school together and me living on the edge and thought to be the first to wink out. But surprise I'm all alone since February of 2020 when the best of us succumbed. And there was an instant twinge of jealousy knowing that he and the other two had direct knowledge of something that existed only in my dreams.

Well thanks -- let me know how my artificial lung is coming along.

Not so long ago there was a successful double lung transplant. Is that something that you would benefit? If so are you on the list. Do you have time to wait?

 

[returntosender]

For starters, in the next few weeks, you could develop a working porotype, miniature, out-of-body, artificial lung; one that weighs less than 10 pounds. I'd be ever so grateful because life is way ahead of whatever is in second place. That doesn't mean that my future is black, far from it. It's just that I'm in a rut as this skin and these bones have been my home for so long and I've been so involved in their maintenance.

Although there is that wonder because 'eternity has been set in our hearts'. Myself one of four friends going through school together and me living on the edge and thought to be the first to wink out. But surprise I'm all alone since February of 2020 when the best of us succumbed. And there was an instant twinge of jealousy knowing that he and the other two had direct knowledge of something that existed only in my dreams.

Well thanks -- let me know how my artificial lung is coming along.

Not so long ago there was a successful double lung transplant. Is that something that you would benefit from? If so are you on the list. Do you have time to wait?

 

[adderbolt]

Not so long ago there was a successful double lung transplant. Is that something that you would benefit from? If so are you on the list. Do you have time to wait?

No and no.
If memory serves the mortality rate for pulmonary fibrosis is somewhere in the neighborhood of 200,000 deaths per year. And yet this disease comprises less than 5% of all pulmonary/lung related deaths so there is a huge pool of affected folks out there. Just yesterday it was announced that B.J. Thomas has been diagnosis with stage 4 lung cancer. And age (my being 83 years old) among other things certainly works against me I'm sure. But it's a soothing thought and it would only take micro-seconds to affirm the idea and sign up for a transplant.

.

 

[returntosender]

No and no.
If memory serves the mortality rate for pulmonary fibrosis is somewhere in the neighborhood of 200,000 deaths per year. And yet this disease comprises less than 5% of all pulmonary/lung related deaths so there is a huge pool of affected folks out there. Just yesterday it was announced that B.J. Thomas has been diagnosis with stage 4 lung cancer. And age (my being 83 years old) among other things certainly works against me I'm sure. But it's a soothing thought and it would only take micro-seconds to affirm the idea and sign up for a transplant.

.

Is your health good otherwise. Could you handle the transplant if someone donated their lungs to you?

 

[adderbolt]

Is your health good otherwise. Could you handle the transplant if someone donated their lungs to you?

That answer is beyond my pay grade. I'll be 84 in a couple of months and at that age things get very tricky to put it layman's terms. Sure would like to try out a new pair of lungs but realistically it isn't going to happen. But I'm very much at peace about meeting my father even though all my sins including my evil thoughts are certainly not compatible with his holiness.

 

[returntosender]

Sorry, both my isp's flaked and it will probably take a half hour for you to get this message.
Will one lung do?

 

[adderbolt]

Sorry, both my isp's flaked and it will probably take a half hour for you to get this message.
Will one lung do?

A layman's guess has me living 3 extra years or more after a successful one lung transplant. But my piggy bank is shy the cost of such an operation. And Go-Fund-Me has better (younger / vital) candidates.

 

[returntosender]

I was wondering about the cost. I don't think insurance co would cover it if it is voluntary, it doesn't seem like it is but they try and get out of everything. I will pm you, okay?

 

[returntosender]

Btw, WELCOME!!

 

[adderbolt]

I was wondering about the cost. I don't think insurance co would cover it if it is voluntary, it doesn't seem like it is but they try and get out of everything. I will pm you, okay?

Insurance is a business --have to make money for the stockholders. Sure pm fine.

 

[adderbolt]

March 26, 2021:

Sleeping too much -- 7 to 9 hours just right but creeping up to 10 hours per night. Spin it as more time to dream -- just wish I could remember them -- unbelievable conversations with myself. Went off the oxygen four hours in -- couldn't keep the cannula secure on my face and the alarm kept going off..

Wind advisory -- the building is swaying -- temperature dropping.

Hired a cleaning person. Got her for one day per month. Hoping for at least two days if and when another of her clients drops out.

Audubon calendar bird of the day is a Green-headed Tanager. Drop dead gorgeous colors -- going to hate tearing off the page.

Walked about 1/2 mile -- not a bad feeling. Stopped and bought some picture books for a friend's three-year old non stop bundle of energy.

 

[returntosender]

March 26, 2021:

Sleeping too much -- 7 to 9 hours just right but creeping up to 10 hours per night. Spin it as more time to dream -- just wish I could remember them -- unbelievable conversations with myself. Went off the oxygen four hours in -- couldn't keep the cannula secure on my face and the alarm kept going off..

Wind advisory -- the building is swaying -- temperature dropping.

Hired a cleaning person. Got her for one day per month. Hoping for at least two days if and when another of her clients drops out.

Audubon calendar bird of the day is a Green-headed Tanager. Drop dead gorgeous colors -- going to hate tearing off the page.

Walked about 1/2 mile -- not a bad feeling. Stopped and bought some picture books for a friend's three-year old non stop bundle of energy.

Sorry, I missed this post thus I asked questions you already answered.
That sound great that you walked that far Good job.
Building swaying, YIKES
You've got 5 more days or you could tack it up as a pick
later.

 

[returntosender]

March 26, 2021:

Sleeping too much -- 7 to 9 hours just right but creeping up to 10 hours per night. Spin it as more time to dream -- just wish I could remember them -- unbelievable conversations with myself. Went off the oxygen four hours in -- couldn't keep the cannula secure on my face and the alarm kept going off..

Wind advisory -- the building is swaying -- temperature dropping.

Hired a cleaning person. Got her for one day per month. Hoping for at least two days if and when another of her clients drops out.

Audubon calendar bird of the day is a Green-headed Tanager. Drop dead gorgeous colors -- going to hate tearing off the page.

Walked about 1/2 mile -- not a bad feeling. Stopped and bought some picture books for a friend's three-year old non stop bundle of energy.

Sorry, I missed this post thus I asked questions you already answered.
That sound great that you walked that far Good job.
Building swaying, YIKES
You've got 5 more days or you could tack it up as a pic
later.

 

[adderbolt]

March 27, 2021:

Winds have died down -- temperature dropped into the 40s. No pain -- just shortness of breath and fatigue when I'm out of the chair. Short walk this morning maybe 2/10 of a mile. Should get a pedometer to measure the actual distance. Met one of my fine neighbors and we chatted for a while.

Pulmonary doc prescribed an antifibrotic, one that is only available through a specialty pharmacy and they finally called to 'check me out' and set up a delivery. They asked dozens of questions and my answers must been the correct ones as the pills are scheduled to arrive on Tuesday via FedEx. Expensive drug -- signature required -- it's priced at around $400 per day but with insurance my copay is only $9.20 each month. They aren't kidding when they say that end-of-life is when the real medical costs kick in.

Have 6 pounds of apples I'm going to turn into applesauce in the slow cooker this afternoon. And then run some cooked ham and pickles through the food chopper. No mayo to add -- could make some -- have the eggs but I'm too lazy -- hate to clean up the mess. So I'll figure something else out to blend it all together.

Still have the Iceland volcano running up on YouTube. It was spectacular last night -- quite addicting. Piles of books to read and DVDs to watch. Saturday 12 noon and there goes the tornado warning siren test. Life is good resting in my Father's peace, joy and mercy.

 

[returntosender]

March 27, 2021:

Winds have died down -- temperature dropped into the 40s. No pain -- just shortness of breath and fatigue when I'm out of the chair. Short walk this morning maybe 2/10 of a mile. Should get a pedometer to measure the actual distance. Met one of my fine neighbors and we chatted for a while.

Pulmonary doc prescribed an antifibrotic, one that is only available through a specialty pharmacy and they finally called to 'check me out' and set up a delivery. They asked dozens of questions and my answers must been the correct ones as the pills are scheduled to arrive on Tuesday via FedEx. Expensive drug -- signature required -- it's priced at around $400 per day but with insurance my copay is only $9.20 each month. They aren't kidding when they say that end-of-life is when the real medical costs kick in.

Have 6 pounds of apples I'm going to turn into applesauce in the slow cooker this afternoon. And then run some cooked ham and pickles through the food chopper. No mayo to add -- could make some -- have the eggs but I'm too lazy -- hate to clean up the mess. So I'll figure something else out to blend it all together.

Still have the Iceland volcano running up on YouTube. It was spectacular last night -- quite addicting. Piles of books to read and DVDs to watch. Saturday 12 noon and there goes the tornado warning siren test. Life is good resting in my Father's peace, joy and mercy.

Pedometers really work? I have a few antiques.
I am sure glad you have insurance, wow.
Do you peel them and core them first? Add sugar? Strain them?
Tornado's, really. HOLY COW!
I planned on watching the batman movies and discovered I can't find them. I did find and watch the first one.
Hope you had a good day.

 

[returntosender]

Well duh.......It occurred to me that this is your journal. What am I doing in it? It takes me a while, lol.