Believers and Non Believers

[ChildofGod88]

The Bible does say that in relationships Christians should be with other Christians. For the most part, if two Christians are genuine about serving Christ and loving God then their relationship will be 100000x stronger and deeper then a relationship between two non-christians.
I understand that God's power is unexplainable, but I do understand that God's power in our lives and in our relationships changes everything. I of course wish that everyone was a Christian. All of my friends, and all of the people that I deal with in my life. Sadly, this is not the case.

Right now I'm in a pickle though. I am quite young yes, I am 18 and although it may not be good to say, I'll be honest and say that I have been involved with quite a few guys in just the past 4 years. Way too many I must admit, which I do believe is a problem...but it's not specifically the problem that I want to address here. I am not out searching for the person that I want to spend my life with, I am young and I believe God will bring that person to me. My only problem is that almost all the guys (except one...and he was NOT a good example of a Christian) are non-Christian that I have been involved with. Not only that, but almost all the guys I have in my life, friends or more then that...are all non-Christian.

The past few months have been bombarding for me, it's been non-christian guy after non-christian guy and I KNOW that I shouldn't have gotten involved in ANY way with any of them, but I do believe that this has happend for a reason and that God will use it for his plan, and it was part of him teaching me. What I need is some insight, advice, prayer...something to help me stand strong and stop getting romantically involved with non-christians, but it's really tearing me down.
Thanks for reading!

 

[Annova]

My only problem is that almost all the guys (except one...and he was NOT a good example of a Christian) are non-Christian that I have been involved with. Not only that, but almost all the guys I have in my life, friends or more then that...are all non-Christian.

I have the same problem also at times.

Most of my friends are non-christians or those who are but not of the same faith as me.

Dating wise well that's a whole other story. I pretty take what I can get but if they are non-christians then I don't date them.

I'm hoping that when I move there will be more single men my age that ARE.

 

[Irascible]

The question that comes to mind reading your post is: What's your purpose in dating or romance in general? Dating's real purpose is to discover the personality and character of a person to see if they're a good match. Not that you said or implied as much, but too many people think dating is so that you can have a guy on your arm for weekend events.

If you're not looking for a match and an eventual husband, there's no point to dating. If you're not dating, then you won't be romantically involved with non-Christians. It really is as simple as that.

 

[kopilo]

What if the person supports what you are doing and hope to achieve (which is God's work) but does not hold a strong belief in Christianity or rather of any religion?

 

[TwistTim]

WARNING THIS POST IS VERY BLUNT AND HONEST

if you can't find any christians to date, don't date....

even if it takes 7 years to find one, it's all the more worth it because you didn't just date around with anything that came your way.....

think of it like a trip to the mall.... you could stop at any shop along the way and buy what you want, something from here, something from there.... but if start at the wrong end you'll be out of cash before you get to where the nicest dress (for guys suit) is at, and instead of going to the prom looking like a queen, you'll look like a country bum, because you were foolish in saving that which mattered most....

love is like that, you can date around, but that gives you a certain reputation that I don't think you really want to have... and there are guys who will talk about and make you look bad to make themselves look cool... espically if they are not Christians....

also if you date a lot, and you do find the right kind of guy, but your with a lousy one at the time, he's gonna look down on your for that, and might walk on by to the next Lady who's single and hasn't been dating around.....just saying it could happen.....

and now back to your regularly scheduled thread now in progress

 

[Bubba1301]

I'm rather inclined to agree with TwistTim, though I will try not to be as brutally blunt

I would encourage you to take a leave of absence from dating, the classic cliche book "I kissed dating goodbye". Spend the time getting to know God better and just hanging out with friends, just as friends. Even though many of your friends are non-Christians, I encourage you to find Christians with whom you can call friends.

Yes, you are still young and in my opinion you don't need to be worried about finding your future husband now. During the time of singleness you can also be praying for your future husband and children. As you spend more time with God you will find that God can fill all your needs. It is then that our eyes are opened to awesome Christians with whom we can date.

 

[Sketcher]

What if the person supports what you are doing and hope to achieve (which is God's work) but does not hold a strong belief in Christianity or rather of any religion?

I'd find that rather unlikely. When you consider the issue of tithing, and an unbelieving spouse may well think that 10% of your income going to church is a waste, and that finances are the #1 reason for divorce in this country, the advantages of being with another Christian become obvious. This is to say nothing of the possibility that the Holy Spirit could grab ahold of you for some work outside the comfort zone of your little life at home, such as missions or an outreach or charity project that would take lots of time and energy. At least another Christian has a shot of understanding the value in that, since a Christian spouse would have the Holy Spirit too. A non-Christian spouse would just think the other shoe dropped.

 

[Blank123]

The question that comes to mind reading your post is: What's your purpose in dating or romance in general? Dating's real purpose is to discover the personality and character of a person to see if they're a good match. Not that you said or implied as much, but too many people think dating is so that you can have a guy on your arm for weekend events.

If you're not looking for a match and an eventual husband, there's no point to dating. If you're not dating, then you won't be romantically involved with non-Christians. It really is as simple as that.

what he said

 

[ChildofGod88]

Hey everyone.
Thanks so much for your replies, I appreciate it. And don't worry about being blunt, upfront and honest. I need it. I'll be the first one to admit that I've been foolish when it comes to romantic relationships and with love. I have had times when my views on dating are very strong and my morals are very set, and then I have times when they weaken due to circumstance (and usually due to the enemy trying to attack). But I do believe that Christians should be with other Christians, no matter what. People of the same lifestyle, beliefs, faith, values and morals often do end up together. I have read "I kissed dating goodbye" and it was a very good book. I guess what I need right now is God to restore me from the past relationships I've been in, and make me strong in him so I can realize that I just need to focus on him until I find the right kind of guy for me that I wish to persue in marriage. I figured I couldn't be the only one that struggles with this issue, which is why I decided to post! Thanks for everyones ideas and thoughts! It's greatly appreciated!

 

[KomissarSteve]

WARNING THIS POST IS VERY BLUNT AND HONEST

if you can't find any christians to date, don't date....

even if it takes 7 years to find one, it's all the more worth it because you didn't just date around with anything that came your way.....

think of it like a trip to the mall.... you could stop at any shop along the way and buy what you want, something from here, something from there.... but if start at the wrong end you'll be out of cash before you get to where the nicest dress (for guys suit) is at, and instead of going to the prom looking like a queen, you'll look like a country bum, because you were foolish in saving that which mattered most....

love is like that, you can date around, but that gives you a certain reputation that I don't think you really want to have... and there are guys who will talk about and make you look bad to make themselves look cool... espically if they are not Christians....

also if you date a lot, and you do find the right kind of guy, but your with a lousy one at the time, he's gonna look down on your for that, and might walk on by to the next Lady who's single and hasn't been dating around.....just saying it could happen.....

and now back to your regularly scheduled thread now in progress

Mmmmmm...I have to disagree pretty strongly, actually.

Don't go out with non-Christian guys if you don't think you should, but all the same - the way to a healthy and successful relationship in the future is to experience relationships while you're young, and learn what you can about the opposite gender, so that you know what God really intends for you when you're confronted with it.

 

[Im_A]

The Bible does say that in relationships Christians should be with other Christians. For the most part, if two Christians are genuine about serving Christ and loving God then their relationship will be 100000x stronger and deeper then a relationship between two non-christians.
I understand that God's power is unexplainable, but I do understand that God's power in our lives and in our relationships changes everything. I of course wish that everyone was a Christian. All of my friends, and all of the people that I deal with in my life. Sadly, this is not the case.

Right now I'm in a pickle though. I am quite young yes, I am 18 and although it may not be good to say, I'll be honest and say that I have been involved with quite a few guys in just the past 4 years. Way too many I must admit, which I do believe is a problem...but it's not specifically the problem that I want to address here. I am not out searching for the person that I want to spend my life with, I am young and I believe God will bring that person to me. My only problem is that almost all the guys (except one...and he was NOT a good example of a Christian) are non-Christian that I have been involved with. Not only that, but almost all the guys I have in my life, friends or more then that...are all non-Christian.

The past few months have been bombarding for me, it's been non-christian guy after non-christian guy and I KNOW that I shouldn't have gotten involved in ANY way with any of them, but I do believe that this has happend for a reason and that God will use it for his plan, and it was part of him teaching me. What I need is some insight, advice, prayer...something to help me stand strong and stop getting romantically involved with non-christians, but it's really tearing me down.
Thanks for reading!

i understand what your saying, but if it is against what you believe to date non-Christians, why soften it up by saying, "God will use it for his plan" when clearly your going against what you believe?

 

[PrincessK]

What is everyone's definition of a Christian?

 

[Im_A]

What is everyone's definition of a Christian?

definitions do me no good, because even if i would have one, it wouldn't do my life any good.

but to try to answer the question, i just take one's word at it. if they suck at trying to live it, so be it. if they don't so be it. we all struggle, fail, justify our sins, and we all succeed and progress from our sins. anyone that says they try to follow Jesus the best they can to me is a Christian. i let God judge the rest.

 

[Blank123]

What is everyone's definition of a Christian?

someone who has accepted the free gift of the God of the Bible and is washed in the blood of the Lamb.

 

[Blank123]

Mmmmmm...I have to disagree pretty strongly, actually.

Don't go out with non-Christian guys if you don't think you should, but all the same - the way to a healthy and successful relationship in the future is to experience relationships while you're young, and learn what you can about the opposite gender, so that you know what God really intends for you when you're confronted with it.

i must be a prodigy at dating then - i was able to find me an amazing boyfriend and have a great and Godly relationship and i have no prior dating experience

 

[KomissarSteve]

i must be a prodigy at dating then - i was able to find me an amazing boyfriend and have a great and Godly relationship and i have no prior dating experience

Well, bear in mind, I didn't say you can't find a good relationship without any prior dating experience. I just said that it makes it easier to find who you're supposed to be looking for when you've had experience with the opposite gender.

 

[Blank123]

Well, bear in mind, I didn't say you can't find a good relationship without any prior dating experience. I just said that it makes it easier to find who you're supposed to be looking for when you've had experience with the opposite gender.

i dunno about that. i don't see why just getting to know people as friends can't suffice for dating in terms of seeing what sort of people you actually want in your life. That, on top of praying for discernment and wisdom, using the commonsense God gave us in choosing people to enter a relationship with, and surrounding ourselves with people who care about us and want the best for us to give us advice in that area and watch out for us, why do we need to practice date to begin with?

 

[KomissarSteve]

We don't "need" to, but the experience one gets from dating is different from experiencing the opposite gender in a "just friends" scenario. It's not necessary, but it really makes it easier.

 

[JPPT1974]

We don't "need" to, but the experience one gets from dating is different from experiencing the opposite gender in a "just friends" scenario. It's not necessary, but it really makes it easier.

Yeah as the believer has peace and the assurance of heaven while the non-believer doesn't. But I am praying that will change for them.

 

[ChildofGod88]

Hey everyone.
God has really done some work in my life the past few days and has really spoken to me about the importance of being involved with other believers, not only as friends but most importantly in a romantic relationship because you need someone that has the same type of lifestyle, beliefs, faith, morals, values and ideas and interests because two people need to compliment each other. God has really spoken to me and said "why bother waisting your time on someone that your not going to end up with anyways?" Someone that I know I can't change, and without God's power in their lives they wont and I have no idea if they'll be changed or not. And who am I to be the one that gets to choose if they are changed? No. It's not me, and we wont end up together unless it is the will of the Lord. Right now I'm just praying that God can keep me strong in him and wait to find the right types of guys for me, and that someday he'll show me who I'm meant to be with