Being 19 or is God working in this way?

[Todos Tenemos Máscaras]

I've never seen a healthy marriage, men tend to make me uneasy (due mostly to my earthly father having BPD), I'm asexual, and my entire life I have wanted nothing more than to never have a boyfriend, but sometimes I wonder if I'll stick to it. I'm 19, and have thoughts of maybe one day having a boyfriend. Is this just my age or could this be God working in my life? I hope this made sense. I'm very tired. Lol.

 

[Josie Adams]

You are who God made you to be. Don't worry so much about it. If there is someone out there who you are meant to be in partnership with God will lead you there.

 

[bottledwater]

It is your age. I do not believe a woman's natural attraction to men has anything to do with God. Other than the fact that He made us that way. I am certain that God blesses marriage between a man and a woman.
Just as we all know, based on the biological properties, that it is the devil encourages unnatural unions between people of the same sex.

 

[Autumnleaf]

You might be INTJ.

 

[Emmy]

Dear Todos Tenemos Mascaras. In Matthew 22: 35-40: Jesus tells us: "The first and great Commandment is: Love God with all thy heart, with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. The second is like it: love thy neighbour as thyself."
Jesus also tells us: " on these two Commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets." God is Love and God wants loving sons and daughters."
In Matthew 7: 7-10: we are told to " ask and you shall receive," ask God for Love and Joy, then thank God and share all Love and Joy with your neighbour.
(all we know and all we meet, friends and not friends) Keep asking God for Love and Joy, then thank God and share all Love and Joy with your neighbour,
treat others as you would love to be treated. God sees your loving efforts, and God will approve and bless you.
The Bible tells us: " Repent and be Born Again," change from being selfish and unloving, to be loving and caring to all around you. The Holy Spirit will
help and guide you, and Jesus our Saviour will lead you all the way:
JESUS IS THE WAY. Love God and love your neighbour, and God will guide you on your way. Remember that God loves you and will lead you the right way. I say this with love. Greetings from Emmy, your sister in Christ.

 

[Odetta]

It is reasonable that you would feel this way now, given both your age and your life experiences so far. But God can work with you if you allow him to. Are you attending a church or a bible study or something similar? I think it would be beneficial for you to surround yourself with people who do have healthy marriages. If I were you, I'd probably steer clear of church singles departments for a while - unfortunately, they can sometimes be meat markets and full of dating drama (just remembering from my single days long ago). Some place where you can find wise mentors might be more helpful.

 

[Kiritsugu Emiyah]

Todos Tenemos Máscaras

We live in a world where women have almost always been viewed as lesser creatures to be mocked and taken advantage of and used. Even today men are commonly so wrong in their thinking that they think it's ok rape a woman if they dressed in a way we think is shameful. In some countries men commonly think women are creatures that don't deserve rights and in America a lot of men only view women as sexual objects and they make fun of women for having less muscle mass or wanting different things than men do. Women are blamed for a boys lust or for our lust or being abused and a woman who is strong or bold enough to stand up for herself and do and say what she wants often intimidates men. Christians commonly think that women aren't supposed to preach or aren't supposed to teach men or that men are supposed to naturally help women because women naturally need our help.

Paul himself was sexist and thought women were to blame for the fall of Adam and that if they did a good job breeding and raising children that they could redeem their selves. Paul said women should not teach because women (the female gender) proved their incompetence in the garden and so they should not teach men.

People think that women are supposed to cover their bodies up and hide it because they are so prone to bringing sin into the world and that if the men begin to lust and desire them that those desires are the woman's fault. Women are viewed as creatures that are so inherently sinful and dangerous that they have to dress extremely modestly so the godly men won't turn and sin over them.

Women have always been abused and blamed for their own abuse. I don't blame you for not wanting men. Even Christian men understand so little that they accept paul's sexist teachings and can't comprehend. The United States Military right now has a horrible problem with sexual harassment and sexual assault and they have all these classes about not viewing women as sexual objects and how women have a right to say no and how women can change their minds and how it's wrong to get a woman drunk just so she doesn't say no and women are urged to travel in packs so that men don't rape them at clubs.

I don't blame you at all. I don't think you should worry about your not wanting a man. In this present world that shouldn't be surprising.

 

[Kiritsugu Emiyah]

There are even sects of Christianity that use certain biblical teachings to allow spanking and disciplining their own wives. These Christians discipline their wives.

How stupid is that?

What kind of messed up world is this when men get together and discuss and vote whether or not they should spank and discipline their wives? As if men should have ever been in such a horrendous position of entitlement and power and women were viewed as such lowly creatures of submission.

 

[hedrick]

I don't know see what Kiritsugu Emiyah's attack on Paul has to do with the OP. The poster is Methodist. Methodists don't accept the vision of the female role that Kiritsugu Emiyah attributes to Paul. (I doubt that Paul himself would recognize it, but that's not relevant to this discussion.)

To the OP: The Bible talks about families and sex in a variety of ways. But it's generally seen as something positive, aside from a few people with a specific calling to celibacy. So your desire seem natural and Biblical.

I wonder whether you are really asexual. In my view, a true asexual simply doesn't feel sexual desire. Your posting suggests that you do, but your experiences make you -- quite understandably -- wary of it. If you have a true calling for celibacy, that's one thing. But without knowing you, your posting suggests that you don't. It sounds to me like it would be helpful for you to get to know more people, both people your age and older ones. Get to see how some families actually work. They're not perfect, but they're still something you may well want. Get to know some guys. Do stuff with them, maybe in a Church group, so you can start feeling comfortable with them.

 

[Kiritsugu Emiyah]

Hedrick

She said she doesn't want a relationship with a man and I said considering the state of our society I do not blame her and Paul's teachings (that reflected him and his culture) on females are one of the reasons for the state of our society.

edit

Like you said, if she doesn't accept the dilemma I presented about Paul, that is likely even more reason for her to struggle with how men DO actually act today, even if like you say Paul never meant that though it seems pretty obvious that he did because it's what he said, even if at other times he allowed women certain positions in his ministry.

 

[parsley]

It's a great time in your life to take focus off what you don't want anyway, and aim for what you do want to accomplish. You are in one of your strongest times, a phase where you learn from others' mistakes and scrutinize how life should be lived. It's okay to think what you have thought, and live with your own choices.

Time goes quickly, and there's no sense wasting it with clutter. If you ever change your mind, then that's up to you too -- and you can even change your mind back while you're in the middle of the decision. You're not a victim to social expectations or curious moments. Just keep going with what makes sense.

(INTJ, lol... it was said with fondness and experience I'm sure. A sensible and quieter personality type, more analytical than a person who would fall passionately head over heels.)

 

[Todos Tenemos Máscaras]

Thank you all for the wise words. You all have helped me. I will just take life as it comes and not worry about it.

Also, to the person who kinda wondered if I truly am asexual, I am. The thought of the activity that creatures do to breed really disgusts me. There is a type of asexuality where you want the significant other to have as a companion and friend, but you don't want to engage in that particular activity. Just so you know.

 

[BFine]

I've never seen a healthy marriage, men tend to make me uneasy (due mostly to my earthly father having BPD), I'm asexual, and my entire life I have wanted nothing more than to never have a boyfriend, but sometimes I wonder if I'll stick to it. I'm 19, and have thoughts of maybe one day having a boyfriend. Is this just my age or could this be God working in my life? I hope this made sense. I'm very tired. Lol.

*You see, if I'd of allowed myself to dwell on all the racism/persecution/abuse
I've faced as a black female, I would of ended my life a long time ago.
However, that wasn't the case...faithful Christians who prayed and
came into my life early on helped me to come to faith in Christ when
I was a small child.

Building on child-like faith-- the more I came to believe that God was
for me and His Word true...no matter what was going on in my
home-life or what others were doing to prevent me from succeeding;
They weren't able to stop the Lord from lifting me up out
of abject poverty, with God's help, all hinderances etc. were toppled--
nothing is too hard for God.

 

[Radagast]

I've never seen a healthy marriage, men tend to make me uneasy (due mostly to my earthly father having BPD), I'm asexual, and my entire life I have wanted nothing more than to never have a boyfriend, but sometimes I wonder if I'll stick to it. I'm 19, and have thoughts of maybe one day having a boyfriend. Is this just my age or could this be God working in my life? I hope this made sense. I'm very tired. Lol.

Taking life as it comes and not worrying about it is good advice. A lot can happen in five, ten, or fifteen years.

God is certainly working in your life, although it may not be clear exactly what He is preparing you for (except, of course, in the end, Heaven).

 

[grandvizier1006]

Hey, don't worry so much about dating and relationships. I have/had sometimes, way too much.

And don't feel too bad about being asexual either. Sexuality is God's gift, but so many Christians misuse it. I used to wish I was asexual sometimes, but I don't think that would make my life any better. Still, don't consider it set in stone, either--I was asexual until I was 13 . If you found a good husband for yourself then maybe you could try it, but at best that's a long way from now.

Just pray for God's guidance in that area of your life and you'll be fine

 

[Purge187]

36-year-old asexual Christian guy here. Even when I was a teenager, I never saw what the big deal about sex was, and I couldn't stand the White Knight types who always seem to think with their glands. (Still don't.)

Ask God to direct your paths and trust that He can and will. And if you're in no hurry to get married, then don't. No big deal.