Becoming a better man to be a good husband

SingularityOne

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Hi everyone,

I’m thinking of buying/listening to these lectures and wanted to know if any of you had heard of/listened to them before: The Good Husband & The Good Wife: The Christian Ideal

Also, any advice on becoming more of a man in our feminized culture based on the Fathers, Tradition, and Scripture?

These natural characteristics being: protecting, providing, and leading the family spiritually and abiding by God’s Law in that command to men.
 
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I'd recommend against them, frankly. I don't know what you mean by "feminized culture", sounds like a nonsensical buzzword for people who don't want to be humble or loving.

I've heard good things about these books:


Building an Orthodox Marriage: A Practical Commentary on the Eastern Orthodox Marriage Rite

Marriage: An Orthodox Perspective

Two Become One: An Orthodox Christian Guide to Engagement and Marriage

A couple of those are directly geared at people getting married but are helpful regardless.
 
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rusmeister

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A person who doesn’t know what “feminized culture” means should defer to those that do. It is hardly a claim of expertise to say “I don’t know what a thing is, therefore it is nonsense.”

In general, stay away from “Orthodox” advice that ignores what the Church fathers say about marriage and focuses on modern psychology, basically, how the world worms its teachings into the Church.

Not one father ever spoke of another person in marriage being “right for you”, for example. All Church teaching tells us we need to make ourselves right.
 
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I'd recommend against them, frankly. I don't know what you mean by "feminized culture", sounds like a nonsensical buzzword for people who don't want to be humble or loving.

No, it's a phrase to describe the tendency of modern society to discourage genuine masculinity in men and have them turn their backs on the divine gift of manhood, fatherhood and such and encourage abnormal family units and the subordination of men to woman and by proxy to materialism.
 
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Tolworth John

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Hi everyone,
any advice on becoming more of a man in our feminized culture based on the Fathers, Tradition, and Scripture?

These natural characteristics being: protecting, providing, and leading the family spiritually and abiding by God’s Law in that command to men.
Best advice I can give is to study Jesus.
As Paul says Husbands love your wife as Jesus loved the church giving up everything for her.

That is your/my challenge to be a Christian man/husband and father.

If you want alternative ideas use the search function on wintery knights blog and search for marriage etc
 
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ArmyMatt

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I would say read the marriage service. how to be a good husband and wife is all in there.

I recommend all links, but read "Two Become One" last. while it probably has some good stuff in it, it's by a Coptic priest and we should look to what's from within the Church first.
 
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All4Christ

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SingularityOne

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A person who doesn’t know what “feminized culture” means should defer to those that do. It is hardly a claim of expertise to say “I don’t know what a thing is, therefore it is nonsense.”

In general, stay away from “Orthodox” advice that ignores what the Church fathers say about marriage and focuses on modern psychology, basically, how the world worms its teachings into the Church.

Not one father ever spoke of another person in marriage being “right for you”, for example. All Church teaching tells us we need to make ourselves right.
I agree with all of what you just said. So, even thought we are to become like Christ and to “make ourselves right” in that process, how does a man do that differently than a woman in that there are commands God gives to each one (sex/gender) distinctly (other than the man having to struggle more with the irascible faculty of his soul and the woman having to struggle more with the desiring faculty of her soul)?

I’ve read “Marriage: A Spiritual Arena” by Archimandrite Vassilios Bakoyiannis and “Marriage and Family Life” by St. John Chrysostom.

Any resources that you’ve found beneficial or advice on how a man is to understand his true nature without becoming emasculated?
 
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SingularityOne

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SingularityOne

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SingularityOne

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I would say read the marriage service. how to be a good husband and wife is all in there.

I recommend all links, but read "Two Become One" last. while it probably has some good stuff in it, it's by a Coptic priest and we should look to what's from within the Church first.

I’ve read the Marriage service before, but I have a hard time finding out how it is applicable for a male in our society trying to become that kind of man. I know that the man is to be the most responsible one in the family and to listen to his wife in honor as she is his help-meet. The wife is to respect her husband and submit in obedience so that there is order and harmony in the home. Anything I’m missing?

thanks for letting me know about the books!
 
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ArmyMatt

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I’ve read the Marriage service before, but I have a hard time finding out how it is applicable for a male in our society trying to become that kind of man. I know that the man is to be the most responsible one in the family and to listen to his wife in honor as she is his help-meet. The wife is to respect her husband and submit in obedience so that there is order and harmony in the home. Anything I’m missing?

thanks for letting me know about the books!

that's the epistle verse, I mean read the prayers and blessings throughout the service.
 
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SingularityOne

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I'd recommend against them, frankly. I don't know what you mean by "feminized culture", sounds like a nonsensical buzzword for people who don't want to be humble or loving.

I've heard good things about these books:


Building an Orthodox Marriage: A Practical Commentary on the Eastern Orthodox Marriage Rite

Marriage: An Orthodox Perspective

Two Become One: An Orthodox Christian Guide to Engagement and Marriage

A couple of those are directly geared at people getting married but are helpful regardless.

thanks for the books! I’ll check them out even though I’m in the stage prior to getting married.
 
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SingularityOne

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that's the epistle verse, I mean read the prayers and blessings throughout the service.
Okay, I’ll go back and read those. However, what do you take away from reading those blessings and prayers about the dynamics between man and woman in marriage... and how does that play into a man trying to acquire the nous/mind of a man? I know becoming like Christ is the simple answer... but, even then, it’s confusing to me as the marriage service is timeless, but our society is ever changing towards feminist ideologies and it’s hard to know the truth from the falsehood.
 
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ArmyMatt

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Okay, I’ll go back and read those. However, what do you take away from reading those blessings and prayers about the dynamics between man and woman in marriage... and how does that play into a man trying to acquire the nous/mind of a man? I know becoming like Christ is the simple answer... but, even then, it’s confusing to me as the marriage service is timeless, but our society is ever changing towards feminist ideologies and it’s hard to know the truth from the falsehood.

because, as an example, when it tells the husband and wife to be like Abraham and Sarah, you can read the OT and see the virtues they had to emulate.
 
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