Background Checks

LadyOfMystery · Jul 27, 2011

So one of those "Been Verified" commercials came on and it got me thinking of this scenario.

What if you hit it off with someone online (whether it be here, a dating site, or somewhere else) and y'all decided on meeting but they said on one condition, that they could do a background check on you. Would that be okay with you? Or would you feel uncomfortable/deal breaker kind of situation?

Discuss this!

Andrew12 · Jul 27, 2011

I would definantly run a background check on anyone that I am dating or becoming close friends with.

Background checks are cheap, easy, and can be a good indicator to personality & behaviours.

Then again, I do like to know the people with whom I acquaint myself. Maybe even to go so far as to plan certain things to study their behaviours when presented with certain stressors & psychological stressors.

Sincerely,
Andrew Holmes

penNpaper · Jul 27, 2011

JennieAmber said:
So one of those "Been Verified" commercials came on and it got me thinking of this scenario.

What if you hit it off with someone online (whether it be here, a dating site, or somewhere else) and y'all decided on meeting but they said on one condition, that they could do a background check on you. Would that be okay with you? Or would you feel uncomfortable/deal breaker kind of situation?

Discuss this!

I was thinking about that topic and thought about doing a thread about it but you beat me to it.

I dunno I think our society is wayy technology driven including that you can find and do anything online. Even getting background checks or be all spy and get someone to collect info on this or that person. I understand why companies do it and sometimes why some people will do it. No one wants to have a Dexter Morgan, I get it lol

But I was thinking and saw those commericals.

‪Been Verified National Commercial with Stephanie Danielson‬&rlm; - YouTube

I just think that our society has became way to PC, doesn't have common sense, and it can be scary in the online world as well as the real world. So I understand that there may be such websites. No one can be trusted logic - we are living in a time where no one can be trusted. When employers are putting up safe-guard questions for applicants, you know they are doing it to say "trust no one until proven otherwise"

If someone told me that I am required a background check outside of employment, I will wonder what their true intentions. If it is online, ok I get it but if it is in real life - I wonder if my doctor is a bad person when he was 21, was he married, kids, religion, hobbies, address, previous addresses, employment, and maybe some more sensitive info. I'm sorry but some things - are just private. I see the good side and the bad side to all this jazz with background checks other than employment reasons.

When I first saw those commericals being aired. I was like *shocked* to see that our society has become to the point that now to be safe we can go to [insert background check anything website] to make sure than Dr. Bob or Susan Dale from Floor 42 is safe to be treated or date lol I shook my head and know that our society is way different than before.

God Bless,
Drew

Sketcher · Jul 27, 2011

This is part of why I just don't meet people online.

Nom De Guerre · Jul 27, 2011

I'm actually quite close with the Feds, lol, however what you might pull up on my background check (which is nothing) has only minute amounts of detail of whom I actually am; the unwritten details, or rather not available to the public details, are far more interesting.

Wren · Jul 27, 2011

Depends on what they want to know. I'm not giving out my social security number. If they want to check and see if I'm in the national sex offender data base, I don't care. If they want to go see if I'm in the WI Circuit Court system (I'm not), that's open to the public (though may not be for much longer and apparently we're one of the rare states that allows that). Honestly, it's a waste of time and I'm pretty open to questions (even ones that are borderline rude or intrusive).

If you mean something less intrusive like a google search, I do that on people (including myself) just for fun.

I'll be honest. If it was widely available (and not just a rare state thing), I would like to be able to do a circuit court (criminal and civil court dealings) search on someone that I'm dating and will if the person is local. I'm a woman. We are socialized in a culture of fear (of being raped, for instance), so I refuse to feel guilty about that. Though if I date someone who isn't local, I don't really have that option and will just take my chances. Credit score and other things like that aren't a priority to me...that's what discussion is for, not a background check.

ETA: Oh, and all of this applies regardless if I meet someone online or even through friends locally. If you are in WI and I'm going on a date with you, I will check the WI Circuit Court system website. Again, though, I'm a woman and culture of fear.

explodingboy · Jul 27, 2011

That ad creeps me out...

I'd have to verify the legitamacy of the site long before I ever consider asking them to verify my acquaintences..

Otherwise. No I'd never ever even consider using such a service, it's just yet another sign of how paranoid society is encouraging us to be, and at the end of the day I'd rather stick to innocence until proven guilty and living my life in a care free manner, using simple common sense to get to know people in a realistic manner.

Andrew12 · Jul 27, 2011

Google your CF Username....

Amber.ly · Jul 27, 2011

I just think of all the serial killers out there who had squeaky clean background checks until someone found their piles of dead bodies buried in the basement.

I wouldn't request a background check for a friend or love interest, no matter if I met them online or not. Because there are many other ways of knowing if someone is legit of not. Like finding out they know the pastor's uncle at your sister's old church and getting a character reference from that...

True story. That happened to me with a CFer

HazelWings · Jul 27, 2011

I wouldn't order a real background check, but I would/have done Google searches just to make sure nothing bad or creepy came up about them whether it be on a website or in pictures.

penNpaper · Jul 27, 2011

So I have a good question.

If someone askes you for a background check outside of the employment field such as a potential SO. Would it be fair if you ask the same?? Or would it defeat the whole purpose?? I haven't a clue if that makes sense. Or maybe if your going to meet an online friend or lover that you never seen before??

I think it would be fair if both parties agree. I understand why some people are cautious the in-ter-webs is a scary place and even real life can be too. But I thought about it and wanted to share that question. It is a good question

If you were asked for a Background Check and willing to do so, would it be fair for the other person to do the same out of respects??

God Bless,
Drew

God Bless,
Drew

trentlogain2 · Jul 27, 2011

not if you want the job, drew. lol

penNpaper · Jul 27, 2011

trentlogain2 said:
not if you want the job, drew. lol

Like I said before - other than employment. I'm fine with employment background checks. But finding a doctor, friend, or potenital SO - use some common sense and just ask in person than - "I MUST HAVE A BACKGROUND CHECK" before talking to you logic in regards to this subject.

God Bless,
Drew

Verve · Jul 27, 2011

Blind Post : I wouldn't have a problem with it at all, maybe that's because I have nothing to hide, and I know that before meeting someone from online my family has strongly suggested bringing a friend with me and asking for character references who I could call.

mr73140 · Jul 27, 2011

Keep in mind: while you are doing your search on a person there are such things like (1) people having the same name and (2) identity theft; that is if you are going to confront the person who you are checking-out. Also keep in mind, that if a person has a past that is not perfect; he or she may have had a turnaround in their life or their crime could have been before they met Jesus; which means they are a new creation; old things are pasted away and behold all things are new. Hope you don't mind my plugging-in.

Stravinsk · Jul 27, 2011

I wouldn't have a problem doing one or having one done on me. In fact, when I taught piano, it was required that I have one done before I started.

Obviously, a past isn't neccessarily indicative of who that person is today - so of relevance would not only be the crime, but how much time has gone by since then and what kind of offences (if any) were accumulated.

SweetDee · Jul 27, 2011

Amber.ly said:
I just think of all the serial killers out there who had squeaky clean background checks until someone found their piles of dead bodies buried in the basement.

I wouldn't request a background check for a friend or love interest, no matter if I met them online or not. Because there are many other ways of knowing if someone is legit of not.

This ^

Wren · Jul 27, 2011

Considering how many people said previously that women need to be careful, in the thread about the woman from Match.com that was raped, I'm surprised that more wouldn't check the criminal history of a date...or at least the sex offender national registry. Sure most rapes don't get reported, but it's something.

LadyOfMystery · Jul 27, 2011

I think that things happen where it's not put down on paper, so you can't ever be truly certain about anyone but I think one should be careful even if they "know" the person, and think they're a good guy/girl.

ulu · Jul 27, 2011

I wouldn't want a stranger doing a check on me. I have nothing to hide, but identity theft, credit card fraud etc happen all the time. If I knew someone for a while, and had developed some trust,then I would have no problem if they wanted to check me out that way.

Background Checks

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