Babies

[JadeTigress]

Is it somehow wrong not to like babies? I've met a few people who agree with me, but the majority of people think I have some sort of defect or I'm crazy because I don't like babies.

But I don't like babies. I never have. Even when I was a little girl, I never played with baby dolls. I didn't like them. I have this deeply ingrained intense dislike of babies, and I always have. Who knows where it came from. But even just being in the general vicinity of a baby puts me in a really crabby mood.

Just recently, I started babysitting my 3.5 month old niece as a service to my brother, since he and my sister-in-law had to go back to work and they needed someone to watch her. And I must say, it's been hell. If it wasn't my brother's kid, I would've stopped doing it after the first day.

I knew I never wanted to have a baby, but now I really don't want one. I've already started looking into various sterilization methods so that I can get it done in a couple years when I have money.

So yeah, is it somehow a bad thing to not like them? So many people seem to think it is, and they think it's even worse that I'm going to make sure I can never have one. I would think it's a good thing for me to get sterilized, since I would make an absolutely horrible mother, but apparently I'm supposed to have kids anyway and just deal with it. However, now that I've actually taken care of a baby, I can say with certainty that if I had to take care of one nonstop every day, I would sooner shoot myself.

So according to other people, my choices seem to be that I either have a mental defect, an evolutionary defect, or I'm just simply a horrible person.

I definitely disagree with option three, but that's just my opinion. What do you guys think?

Edit: Wow...it sure isn't obvious that it's early and I'm still tired...not one bit...

 

[cantata]

Is it somehow wrong not to like babies? I've met a few people who agree with me, but the majority of people think I have some sort of defect or I'm crazy because I don't like babies.

I don't like babies either. All they do is cry and eat and smell.

So I don't think you're nuts.

 

[JadeTigress]

Thank you.

 

[HannahBanana]

Of course it's not wrong to dislike babies. Not all people like/dislike the same things. If we did, then we'd be robots, and the world would be one heck of a boring place, lol.

 

[JadeTigress]

Of course it's not wrong to dislike babies. Not all people like/dislike the same things. If we did, then we'd be robots, and the world would be one heck of a boring place, lol.

I completely agree.

But some people seem to think that because it's a baby, a tiny human, a little bundle of joy, that you're not supposed to not like them.

Which is just weird, in my opinion.

 

[HannahBanana]

I completely agree.

But some people seem to think that because it's a baby, a tiny human, a little bundle of joy, that you're not supposed to not like them.

Which is just weird, in my opinion.

Yeah, I don't quite understand that, either. Do those people not realize how stressful and exhausting it can be to spend time around babies? It's like they just gloss over the fact that babies cry for hours on end, poop every other hour, and projectile-vomit after eating.

 

[lawtonfogle]

Is it somehow wrong not to like babies? I've met a few people who agree with me, but the majority of people think I have some sort of defect or I'm crazy because I don't like babies.

But I don't like babies. I never have. Even when I was a little girl, I never played with baby dolls. I didn't like them. I have this deeply ingrained intense dislike of babies, and I always have. Who knows where it came from. But even just being in the general vicinity of a baby puts me in a really crabby mood.

Just recently, I started babysitting my 3.5 month old niece as a service to my brother, since he and my sister-in-law had to go back to work and they needed someone to watch her. And I must say, it's been hell. If it wasn't my brother's kid, I would've stopped doing it after the first day.

I knew I never wanted to have a baby, but now I really don't want one. I've already started looking into various sterilization methods so that I can get it done in a couple years when I have money.

So yeah, is it somehow a bad thing to not like them? So many people seem to think it is, and they think it's even worse that I'm going to make sure I can never have one. I would think it's a good thing for me to get sterilized, since I would make an absolutely horrible mother, but apparently I'm supposed to have kids anyway and just deal with it. However, now that I've actually taken care of a baby, I can say with certainty that if I had to take care of one nonstop every day, I would sooner shoot myself.

So according to other people, my choices seem to be that I either have a mental defect, an evolutionary defect, or I'm just simply a horrible person.

I definitely disagree with option three, but that's just my opinion. What do you guys think?

Edit: Wow...it sure isn't obvious that it's early and I'm still tired...not one bit...

I can see what someone would say it is an evolutionary defect, but the same could be said of homosexuality, or even being attracted to/marrying a sterile man/woman. Doesn't mean there is anything morally wrong, since evolution is descriptive not prescriptive.

 

[christianmomof3]

It is ok not to like other people's babies.
Some people love all babies and some don't.
My cousin did not like children at all until she had her own.
Then she loved them.
I think babies are cute, but I am glad that my children are older now (they are 6, 9 and 15). I enjoyed my own children thouroughly when they were younger, but other people's crying babies are not my favorite thing.
When it is your own baby it is different.

 

[HannahBanana]

It is ok not to like other people's babies.
Some people love all babies and some don't.
My cousin did not like children at all until she had her own.
Then she loved them.
I think babies are cute, but I am glad that my children are older now (they are 6, 9 and 15). I enjoyed my own children thouroughly when they were younger, but other people's crying babies are not my favorite thing.
When it is your own baby it is different.

What if someone doesn't like babies at all, even their own babies? How is that not okay?

 

[JadeTigress]

When it is your own baby it is different.

Other people have said this, as well. And I suppose it could be true, my mom said the same thing about her kids that you said. She liked her kids, but not other people's.

I can't say that it wouldn't happen that way for myself (never say never), but it just seems rather hard to believe, since I've never liked them. It's not like a, "Meh, I don't like babies," and go about my merry way. It's a very intense dislike, emanating from deep within some magical unknown realm of myself (how fancy ). I don't even think they're cute.

 

[Uphill Battle]

It's alright. I don't always like other peoples kids either.

I'll see an old woman cooing over a baby saying how beautiful it is, and think, man, can't you see that the kid is crosseyed?

I would caution though, don't take permanent sterilization techniques at this stage of life. you could always use other BC methods for the time being... you never know if your heart will change. My wife and I are a prime example of that.

 

[JadeTigress]

It's alright. I don't always like other peoples kids either.

I'll see an old woman cooing over a baby saying how beautiful it is, and think, man, can't you see that the kid is crosseyed?

I would caution though, don't take permanent sterilization techniques at this stage of life. you could always use other BC methods for the time being... you never know if your heart will change. My wife and I are a prime example of that.

Since it'll be a couple years before I have the funds to do it, I still have plenty of time to mull it over and make sure it's truly what I want to do before I do it. At this point in my life, as well as previous points and points in the near-ish future (the next 6 or 7 years...I won't be completely done with school until then), if I got pregnant I would get an abortion. No question. I don't want a baby. And since I don't ever see myself wanting one, I see no reason not to just sterilize myself, so that way there's no risk of pregnancy or the resulting abortion.

I've decided that if at some point in the future I want a kid, I'll be adopting an older child (probably no younger than about 3 or 4 years old or so). There are so many kids already that need homes, especially the older ones (since everyone wants a baby), and that way I can bypass the baby stage.

 

[keith99]

I can see what someone would say it is an evolutionary defect, but the same could be said of homosexuality, or even being attracted to/marrying a sterile man/woman. Doesn't mean there is anything morally wrong, since evolution is descriptive not prescriptive.

Well said! Going a bit farther on the moral end of things relative to the original post. Nothing wrong morally about not likeing a baby. But if a baby becomes your responisbility then not following through on that responsibility is morally wrong.

The flip side is there is nothing praiseworthy about taking care of a baby if it is something you like, just as any other moral duty. There is somethign praiseworthy of doint what yuo thing is right when it is far from fun for you.

 

[Alexandrah]

I don't like babies either.
People think I'm weird.
I don't care what they think!

I loathe hearing "Oh, you'll change your mind when you meet the right guy or when your clock starts ticking"

 

[JadeTigress]

I don't like babies either.
People think I'm weird.
I don't care what they think!

I loathe hearing "Oh, you'll change your mind when you meet the right guy or when your clock starts ticking"

I get that all the time, too.

If my clock should somehow start ticking (maybe it's running slow?), I could see that. But I fail to see how meeting a fantastic guy would suddenly make me want a baby. Meeting a fantastic guy would make me want to be with said guy, and that's about it.

 

[Alexandrah]

My boyfriend does not like or want children either.
We have some married friends that have made the same decision. Sadly, I think they are the only friends that we will be able to maintain. Once people have babies you never see them unless you have babies too.

Our society is very child-centric. I have found it best not to mention it too much.

If we get married I plan to tell people that we "can't" have children rather than "we do not want"

 

[WatersMoon110]

I don't think there is anything wrong with not liking babies. I also don't think there is anything wrong with liking babies.

I sort of see why people might be surprised that you don't like babies, because to some extent liking human infants is instinctual. They are so much work to take care of them, if we didn't have an instinct to love/bond with them, we'd probably just leave them. Maybe you don't like babies because you have almost the opposite of that instinct, some sort of mutation or even natural population control?

If you want to be sterilized, I say that you should think about it, but go for it if that is what you want. As you said, you can always adopt an older child, if you do want kids someday.

Personally, though, I like babies, and have since I was very young.

 

[LoisGriffin]

I don't like babies.

Some people can stare at one for hours and be perfectly entertained. I sit for a minute and get bored because its not doing anything.

Been married 4 years now and the maternal instinct has not kicked in.

Some people are great at understanding. The best ones are the parents who realise that children are not for everyone and support a well thought out decision. Those who think you should breed because you are a woman and thats what women do are pretty much jerks. I had a friend like that and its safe to say she is no longer my friend if she cannot respect me (I do feel she is actually jealous because of how horrible she is).

 

[Zeena]

Of course it's not wrong to dislike babies. Not all people like/dislike the same things. If we did, then we'd be robots, and the world would be one heck of a boring place, lol.

Does Jesus like babies?

 

[LoisGriffin]

Does Jesus like babies?

Yes and your point is?