Awkwardness

[HermanNeutics13]

I really don't know where to begin on this one. There's this girl I have known for years. several years ago after I had known her for quite a while I started to have feelings for her. She found out and pretty much rejected me (I honestly can't remember the specific words though). Anyway we are really good friends now and we never speak of it and it seems like it is in the past. She does seem to really like talking to me about a whole range of subjects and always says how much we have in common. However, there are times now where she will behave rather awkwardly, like I will say something and she will avoid it or try to avoid me and it will be something perfectly benign. I'm wondering if anyone has any explanation. I could give more specifics if you ask but I think this is good to start.

 

[Godzila]

If it was me, I would keep her as a friend and don't look for a relationship with her again.

Start seeing another girl, and then ask her about girl things that may help you out with this new girl.

From there, gauge how she reacts to your questions, now that you have a "new girl" you're seriously interested in.

 

[Neve]

If it was me, I would keep her as a friend and don't look for a relationship with her again.

Start seeing another girl, and then ask her about girl things that may help you out with this new girl.

From there, gauge how she reacts to your questions, now that you have a "new girl" you're seriously interested in.

You need to gauge the situation before changing it. This girl you like could have developed feelings for you....it happens. She may be reluctant to tell you (e.g. make the first move).

However, I think it's good advice that you start looking/dating other girls because if it makes your friend jealous, then it might compel her to act or behavior differently. (If a woman doesn't like a guy, she will have no problem with whoever he sees and freely give him advice. However, if she's upset over you seeing someone, it's a huge sign that she likes you!)

 

[HermanNeutics13]

You need to gauge the situation before changing it. This girl you like could have developed feelings for you....it happens. She may be reluctant to tell you (e.g. make the first move).

However, I think it's good advice that you start looking/dating other girls because if it makes your friend jealous, then it might compel her to act or behavior differently. (If a woman doesn't like a guy, she will have no problem with whoever he sees and freely give him advice. However, if she's upset over you seeing someone, it's a huge sign that she likes you!)

There's a couple problems with that. Besides the fact I have a hard enough time as it is approaching a girl about it, if I did go out with someone to make them jealous that leaves everyone in a pretty awkward situation.

 

[Neve]

There's a couple problems with that. Besides the fact I have a hard enough time as it is approaching a girl about it, if I did go out with someone to make them jealous that leaves everyone in a pretty awkward situation.

Okay some questions to you:

Is this girl seeing someone?
When you see her in person, does she dress up/look nice?
Has she ever told you that you're like a "brother" or you are a "good listener"?

 

[HermanNeutics13]

Okay some questions to you:

Is this girl seeing someone?
When you see her in person, does she dress up/look nice?
Has she ever told you that you're like a "brother" or you are a "good listener"?

No she is not seeing someone.
No she usually doesn't dress up, most of the time we talk it is pretty casual, and we also tend to be with other people.
She has not told me that but I have wondered that same question. I would consider her brother like a brother to me.

 

[Neve]

No she is not seeing someone.
No she usually doesn't dress up, most of the time we talk it is pretty casual, and we also tend to be with other people.
She has not told me that but I have wondered that same question. I would consider her brother like a brother to me.

Why don't you ask her if she thinks you're a good listener and then follow it up with, "Do you think of me as your brother?" I think that will give you the answer you're looking for.

 

[redblue22]

she rejected you for you liking her?

.