Atheist-becoming a secret believer?

[ToBeLoved]

Last week, at Easter Vigil, I converted to Catholicism. Now I'm the same religion as my fiance. It's been a slow process....

Amen! Enjoy God and live WITH God, not for God. That is the best advice I can give you.

 

[lazurm]

No, actually it's just the opposite. I LOVE going to Mass. Each time I go I try harder. I've finally been able to pray after taking Communion. I've always noticed others doing so but felt embarrassed, as a relic from my atheist days. I pray to God to grant the Intercessions, to help me feel His presence throughout my waking life, for all the Blessings He can give, and for more. It feels soooo good to finally reach this point.
I've made a vow to fulfill my baptismal promises, first because I'm a man of my word, and second because I want to live in the right way, a way I learn more of each day. Someone here said that this would feel like a burden lifted off my shoulders and that's EXACTLY how this feels to me. My fiance has actually said to me that I'm an inspiration to her! In a way that's somewhat ironic and one I would never have anticipated.

I've felt that way. If it's really a problem for you, talk to a priest about it. How are you doing otherwise?

 

[Jamminontha1]

I've been an ardent atheist all my life (age=66) but ever since my girlfriend (a practicing Catholic) convinced me to go to Mass with her I find myself wanting more and more, to the point that I enrolled in an RCIA class and only she knows that I did this (none of my friends or family knows). It's become a compulsion to the point that I feel that I now must go to Mass and even secretly pray to God, even though I don't believe in God as something personal, for me, etc.

I'm actually embarrassed about it all and only discuss this with my girlfriend who states that the Holy Spirit is working on me and that I should "surrender" to it, whatever that means or entails (what does that mean anyway?).

Needless to say, I'm going through a lot of cognitive dissonance.

I've heard of secret atheists but not a secret believer.

Any ideas out there?

Surrendering is simple as Yoda says: "You must unlearn what you have learned." You have to ask yourself this question: What if everything, despite the hardest evidence, is wrong? If it's wrong, what part of it is wrong? Then pray to a God you don't think exists and see what happens.

 

[xianghua]

I've been an ardent atheist all my life (age=66) but ever since my girlfriend (a practicing Catholic) convinced me to go to Mass with her I find myself wanting more and more, to the point that I enrolled in an RCIA class and only she knows that I did this (none of my friends or family knows). It's become a compulsion to the point that I feel that I now must go to Mass and even secretly pray to God, even though I don't believe in God as something personal, for me, etc.

I'm actually embarrassed about it all and only discuss this with my girlfriend who states that the Holy Spirit is working on me and that I should "surrender" to it, whatever that means or entails (what does that mean anyway?).

Needless to say, I'm going through a lot of cognitive dissonance.

I've heard of secret atheists but not a secret believer.

Any ideas out there?

why you think that there is no god before?

 

[miknik5]

I've been an ardent atheist all my life (age=66) but ever since my girlfriend (a practicing Catholic) convinced me to go to Mass with her I find myself wanting more and more, to the point that I enrolled in an RCIA class and only she knows that I did this (none of my friends or family knows). It's become a compulsion to the point that I feel that I now must go to Mass and even secretly pray to God, even though I don't believe in God as something personal, for me, etc.

I'm actually embarrassed about it all and only discuss this with my girlfriend who states that the Holy Spirit is working on me and that I should "surrender" to it, whatever that means or entails (what does that mean anyway?).

Needless to say, I'm going through a lot of cognitive dissonance.

I've heard of secret atheists but not a secret believer.

Any ideas out there?

Your girlfriend is right
The HOLY SPIRIT is working on you and to surrender means believe and don't fight the promprings of THE SPIRIT

 

[miknik5]

No, actually it's just the opposite. I LOVE going to Mass. Each time I go I try harder. I've finally been able to pray after taking Communion. I've always noticed others doing so but felt embarrassed, as a relic from my atheist days. I pray to God to grant the Intercessions, to help me feel His presence throughout my waking life, for all the Blessings He can give, and for more. It feels soooo good to finally reach this point.
I've made a vow to fulfill my baptismal promises, first because I'm a man of my word, and second because I want to live in the right way, a way I learn more of each day. Someone here said that this would feel like a burden lifted off my shoulders and that's EXACTLY how this feels to me. My fiance has actually said to me that I'm an inspiration to her! In a way that's somewhat ironic and one I would never have anticipated.

I have been blessed by reading your thread.

May GOD bless you and your fiancé

Press on sir....

 

[lazurm]

why you think that there is no god before?

I wasn't looking. It didn't make sense. I come from an atheist family.

 

[xianghua]

I wasn't looking. It didn't make sense. I come from an atheist family.

i think you may interested in this argument:

the self replicating watch argument

have a nice day.

 

[anna ~ grace]

Lazurm, that is awesome! God be with you, friend! I am also seeking to enter the Catholic Church. What a journey you've been on! So cool.

 

[chevyontheriver]

I wasn't looking. It didn't make sense. I come from an atheist family.

Is it continuing to make more sense? Have you encountered any resistance from friends?

 

[lazurm]

xianghua:
Your referenced argument ("self replicating watch) has many flaws and the first reply competently illustrates some of them.
Though many have stated that one needs proof for God to exist, the main strength comes from faith, as amply stated in the Bible. The best "physical" argument is the one of first cause but, like a circle has no beginning, it's possible that some form of universe and universes always existed (the multi-verse hypothesis) a thought that is gaining traction over time. Or, if you don't like that one, perhaps before a universe is created, there exists a physical (quantum) state. Quantum physics formulas do not need time as a variable so this state is just there, without time as a function, until conditions allow for this state to fluctuate in a manner that results in the creation of one of many universes, some of which beget other universes (to whit: think of Black Holes as our universe's attempt at creating baby universes, which in a sense they are).

i think you may interested in this argument:

the self replicating watch argument

have a nice day.

 

[lazurm]

I don't discuss this with my long time friends, to avoid uncomfortable and needless emotional states.
Yes, it's continuing to make more sense because I want it to. I think I understand the psychology of belief and, so, I can identify with it on some levels.

Is it continuing to make more sense? Have you encountered any resistance from friends?

 

[chevyontheriver]

I don't discuss this with my long time friends, to avoid uncomfortable and needless emotional states.
Yes, it's continuing to make more sense because I want it to. I think I understand the psychology of belief and, so, I can identify with it on some levels.

Are you doing any good reading in this area? My opinion is that one should have one's nose in a book at least half the time.

 

[xianghua]

xianghua:
Your referenced argument ("self replicating watch) has many flaws and the first reply competently illustrates some of them.
Though many have stated that one needs proof for God to exist, the main strength comes from faith, as amply stated in the Bible. The best "physical" argument is the one of first cause but, like a circle has no beginning, it's possible that some form of universe and universes always existed (the multi-verse hypothesis) a thought that is gaining traction over time. Or, if you don't like that one, perhaps before a universe is created, there exists a physical (quantum) state. Quantum physics formulas do not need time as a variable so this state is just there, without time as a function, until conditions allow for this state to fluctuate in a manner that results in the creation of one of many universes, some of which beget other universes (to whit: think of Black Holes as our universe's attempt at creating baby universes, which in a sense they are).

im not sure. so you babsically agree that a self replicating watch doesnt need a d esigner since it has living traits? by the way: as a general note english isnt my native so i may not understand some words here and there in general.

 

[lamb7]

I've been an ardent atheist all my life (age=66) but ever since my girlfriend (a practicing Catholic) convinced me to go to Mass with her I find myself wanting more and more, to the point that I enrolled in an RCIA class and only she knows that I did this (none of my friends or family knows). It's become a compulsion to the point that I feel that I now must go to Mass and even secretly pray to God, even though I don't believe in God as something personal, for me, etc.

I'm actually embarrassed about it all and only discuss this with my girlfriend who states that the Holy Spirit is working on me and that I should "surrender" to it, whatever that means or entails (what does that mean anyway?).

Needless to say, I'm going through a lot of cognitive dissonance.

I've heard of secret atheists but not a secret believer.

Any ideas out there?

I think by what you posted the Holy Spirit is working on you! This is wonderful and is the beginning! If you hated God and had no use for God you would not care, but but from what you wrote tells me something is going on. Pray to God for guidance on this matter. He will guide you into truth.